Dealing with depression?

[Colenzo]

jerk off A LOT or do a lot of drugs it helps

[Howard Roark]

anti-depressants under the guidance of a proper counsellor is a very good start, but if you are hesitant about medicine as a fix to the situation, you may take comfort in my own experiences in coming off of them after using them for 4 years

there are a few types, your doctor will likely explain it to you better, but

i) some will curb your highs and lows and bring you to a more middle ground, to be able to approach regular and stressful situations without feeling overwhelmed

ii) some will attempt to decrease your 'low' feelings only (or 'high' although this doesn't sound like your situation)

iii) lastly, some will try to actually increase your 'high' or happy feelings, typically with seratonin


your doctor will probably talk about SSRI inhibitors etc but that's technical talk, and it sounds like you are indeed in need of immediate weekly to bi-weekly sessions with the supervised combination of prescribed anti-depressants

if your problems are environmental or chemical, this will likely determine how long you remain on them, what type you need as well as personal preference, as some of the side effects can be difficult, including nausea, jaw clenching etc

none of this should concern you immediately though, as your doctor will probably start you off on a low dose to see how your body and moods react. 19 is a bit late to still be dealing with teen or even school angst so I'd wager you have a fair chance of having a chemical imbalance, which I like to think of as being no different than a diabetic, with too-high or too-low amounts of insulin and sugars in the body


medicine can help but for most it's not a permanent solution. take it one step at a time and don't get overwhelmed. depression is a recognized medical disease whether longterm or short-term and you'll find there are a lot of support netoworks, as well as your family and friends. you'll make a lot more progress if you don't feel bad for feeling bad

good luck, and find a hobby, preferably one that gets you some sunlight

[Sol-Blackguy]

Get some help, fuck posting here and get on a suicide line if you feel this way. Friends and family can only do so much, it has to be your decision to take action. One day you might be able to look back and be happy that you made the right choice.

[Devek]

Depression can be kind of fun.

I don't mean to sound emo or anything, but I've always hated life. I mean seriously, it is retarded. There are no rules and there is no purpose. There are a couple of rule books to life, but they are all contradictory and there is no evidence that they are legitimate. The only thing you can really trust is your innate sense of right and wrong, but when that only tells you one thing...

When I was a teen I sought professional help and it was a good thing. My life was unmanageable and they helped me get on track. Mental distortions and errors in your thinking can cause you a lot of trouble and getting all that cleared out can really help. This may sound funny in the light of what I am writing now, but I am incredibly sane. When you cut through all the delusions life is more depressing than ever. I enjoyed life more when I believed in things like karma, god, and how me and my girlfriend at the time were fated to be together because our phone numbers were the same besides 2 digits.

The cold hard truth is that there is something wrong with my brain and there is nothing that can be done about it. There is no medicine that was help, we tried just about all of them. The way I think will not change anything. I can not will myself into being happy anymore than Helen Keller can will herself into driving a car(because she is a woman). The theory is that it is some sort of emotional development problem in my brain from the way I was raised. I know a lot of people have bullshit childhoods and all, but if your parents malnourished you physically and stunt your growth you can't suddenly be a 7 foot tall basketball player when you mature.

When I finally came to a point to where I could accept reality, life became fine. I figured that maybe someday there might be a new medicine or treatment for what I was going through and I would get a chance to be happy or maybe something would happen to change it and it did. In the meantime I just accepted how I felt as how I felt and knew that it wasn't real. I did the school thing, got a wife, got a job, friends, and eventually it happened when I ended up with a child. The emotional part of my brain that identifies with parenthood works, and works well.

I love absolutely everything about being a father. When I am with her I am happy. Last weekend we were playing FF6 and she thought Figaro castle going into the sand was the most amazing thing ever and <3s the chocobos from when she played FF:Chocobo Tales. Seeing her enjoy that makes me happy. It is kind of sad that her mother is afraid of her turning out to be just like me, so she turns around and raises her to be just like me(apparently I married my mother).. but that is a huge tl;dr you don't want to hear about. It is important to know that whatever you are going through your parents probably went through and through genetics or ignorance they passed it on to you. The bad news is that they can't do much to help you unless they received psychological help because they simply don't know what the problem is.

Everything else in life is just bullshit I deal with between seeing my daughter. The bullshit job with the bullshit boss and the bullshit house that is falling apart that has a bullshit yard with grass that won't fucking grow right is just shit I gotta deal with. When you don't give a damn about any of it, it becomes kind of fun. You can meet a girl and take her out to lunch.. it doesn't matter what happens because it will all be bullshit. I would rather go home and masturbate because it involves less bullshit than trying to do whatever it is she is going to demand to let me sleep with her or build a bullshit relationship with her I won't enjoy anyway. Sometimes I'll make up a scary disease and tell her about, which is hilarious. The last girl I went out with I told her that I had leprosy and it was awesome.

You could almost say I am a real life troll, but that is not really true. I'll tell a joke that only I get and laugh at it every time. I simply value humor over achievement. My friends are mostly just people who "get it" and enjoy the show. You can also spot retarded people people easily because they will call you retarded for saying something that anyone with half a brain would know is a joke. Smart people will either tell you to STFU or join in on the fun. Either way, you don't have to be happy to laugh.

At work, my boss loves me because I just don't give a damn. I'll give my opinion on what needs to be done about a problem or what the potential issues may be and my opinion will be totally ignored and that is ok. I'll do what my boss says because I want my paycheck. Someday he might start to listen to me, but I really don't care either way as long as I get paid. Most computer/networking nerds have super egos and will get in pissing contests with everyone about everything and not actually get anything done. I have a huge ego, but I'm not about to let it get in the way of getting paid.

One other advantage of depression is Memory. Remember the southpark episode where cartman thinks he came up with the fishsticks joke? Everyone is like that. People don't remember things correctly at all. They get some sort of emotional investment in things somehow and for whatever reason it skews their recollection of what happens. You'll get 10 people and ask them about something they witnesses and get 10 different answers that all reflect the individual biases of the observer. Me? I don't give a damn and people that know me love and hate my ability to list events and situations verbatim with how they actually occurred.

tl;dr Good luck. Don't be afraid of medicine, treatments. or whatever really. If something will make you happy, go for it. I mean think about it, if you would chose to not be happy.. you are insane.

[Meresgi]

Go see a therapist at your college or town. If you really are depressed, you can talk to them and they might see you as being in need of medication and set you up with a psychiatrist.

[BerenTebogo]

Kill yourself.

[Colenzo]

Kill yourself.

If you are going to go out, go with a bang. Shoot up a McDonalds.

[zoobernut]

I would just like to add my 2 cents even though there have been a lot of great responses here that are all correct.

I have been dealing with depression for a long time, I was not depressed but my wife was.

Looking at it from the other side it is a very difficult thing to deal with and sometimes it was hard but I knew that I had to be supportive as possible. For her though there were other physical symptoms as well such as aches and pains and extreme fatigue. Medication did not help and neither did therapy. Eventually by continuing to go to doctors and trying for a couple years we found out that she is narcoleptic. The hormonal imbalance was causing depression like symptoms.

In the end my suggestion to you is first go to a psychiatrist. Get help. Keep pursuing it until you feel better. Even if the initial medication doesn't help there is an answer out there so do not give up.

[Mizango]

Depends how severe your depression is. If you don't wanna talk to your folks yet, then see a counselor. If it doesn't work then ask your folks for help. People in those cases need support, I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping out. Again, depends how depression has effected you. If it's something profound, you may want to see a doctor.

I don't know if you live a sedentary life, but being active helps too.

Agreed 100%.

[Yuri-G]

Yuri G your life sounds like great times. cheer up

I didn't mean to come off as depressed. I'm actually pretty happy these days. life isn't perfect but it ain't bad either. it's just that I was pretty much mentally ill for the last five years until I finally decided enough was fucking enough and I was either going to go ahead and kill myself or get better. I believe I made the right choice, heh.

[Norelco]

These suggestions are really helping me decide how I need to go about dealing with this ordeal, thanks again! I'm a little nervous about visiting a shrink, but if that will help me, I will surely face that experience because I really am tired of being like this >.<

Dude, don't be nervous. Taking that first step to get yourself help makes you a brave motherfucker.

Do you still play FFXI? Dunno if this is good advice, but I'd quit the game and get some fresh air. Reconnect with nature and with people in real life.

edit: Do you excercise at all? As corny as it sounds, getting some excercise may also help with you mentally and make you feel more energized. Give it a try.

[Oulanbator]

Ok, tons of retards as always on BG.

Depression is illness. Consider it's one. Treat it like the flu or something else: go see your doctor !.
Do not head straight to a psychoanalyst ( he'll find you something, they always do). Go see your usual doctor, the one you saw when you broke your arm or when you had mumps. Tell him how you feel and he'll probably send you to a psy he knows that will be able to help you.
Avoid the school doctor since they constantly see lots of teens faking stuff here and there to dodge lessons etc... go see someone you trust, the guy that takes care of your health for a while.


And don't listen to people telling you raise your chin, to smile and enjoy life. Go seek serious medical help ( not medication, just medical help).

[Rammses]

Staying away from addictive time sinks like mmoprgs and message boards while trying to get better helps as well.

[Yuri-G]

I 100% agree. It takes a lot of balls to go to a therapist, and it's scary as hell the first time.

[Darunia]

While alot of the posts in this thread are complete garbage, some posts did stand out as quite insightful.
If you believe you are depressed ask yourself why, find the problems in your life and sort them out. Easier said than done right? sure but giving up and feeling sorry for yourself isnt going to sort it out and nobody else can do it for you.
I recently came off antidepressant drugs in January, personally ive never felt better. For me they were more of a placebo than a real cure. Therapy is garbage, your going to end up more unhappy after throwing all of your money at a random doctor who just sits and listens, do this with a friend of family member you are truly comfortable with and save your cash.
I went to therapy for 2 months, all i got out of it was a fancy new word for what a person with my view on life is "Misanthropic", I also was put on 6 different types of Anti-depressant, each one barely had an effect on me. It was so worth the £400!

tl;dr Go out, make friends, do stuff YOU enjoy and quit pitying yourself.

[Absolutely Virtue]

Adding advice I haven't seen posted here yet:

1. Forgive yourself. People who have cancer don't blame themselves for being sick. Don't blame yourself for being depressed. Recognize that there is significant evidence to suggest (notice I didn't say confirm) that your condition is chemical, and beyond your control. So do not beat yourself up over something you didn't cause. This is especially important for the people who think "My life should be pretty good, I'm a bad person for being so depressed." This is a very common trap, and one you need to avoid. It sounds corny, but learn to love yourself a little bit. You're not a bad or weak or selfish person because you're depressed, no more so than people who have more socially accepted diseases.

2. Get ready to fight. You are unhappy because you have lived with depression for so long. Your mind and body have adjusted to it, and you will have to spend a significant amount of time in recovery before you start to feel better. You will have good days, but you will have lots of bad days. Hang in there. If you were paralyzed and had to learn to walk again, you'd acknowledge that you're starting from scratch. Depression is no different. You will have to learn how to live again as a "not depressed" person. It takes time, but in the end you'll have tremendous perspective because you worked so hard. Trust me, it's empowering to beat something like this.

3. Tell a fairly large number of people to fuck off. I went through many of the same things you are going through, but I did it nearly fifteen years ago. Anyone who has confronted this illness has encountered their share of people with the same tired lines: "Just smoke a bowl/go get laid/loosen up/it's all in your head/you're a pussy" etc. Ignore them. I finally did, and it was the best decision I ever made. There are a lot of insensitive people who feel the need to kick you when you're down. You don't need these people in your life. There are others who genuinely don't understand what you're going through. This can be hard, especially if they're people you're close to. But they will learn in time, and they'll welcome you back once you're feeling better.

And here is my old guy perspective: When I was your age, I got an enormous amount of shit from people. Some of my closest friends either outright criticized me, or secretly thought I was just being a pussy. Over the years, I cannot tell you how many of those critics have apologized for the way they treated me. This is an illness that a lot of people cannot understand until it happens to them. And because it is so common, the likelihood of it happening to the people who are hard on you is fairly high. They'll sing a different tune when they're sick, only they will have to live with the regret of being mean to you. I have literally lost count of the number of people who have apologized. You will be amazed.

Good luck. All of this will make you a better person in the long run, so much so that you might just end up glad you went through it.

[Brill Weave]

Gotta talk to somebody dood. These things don't fix themselves. It was hard for me not to post the "a razor is a good way to deal with it." But you actually sound fairly sincere. Even your doctor has a program that is designed specifically to help in these situations.

[amentis]

As a person who's been dealing with depression since I was like...10, here's some advice I can give you.

Firstly: Therapy is definitely the first step. Go to free counseling on campus. Don't be discouraged if you don't like the first counselor you meet. It took me 10 years to find a therapist that actually works and that I like.
Once you find a therapist you like, work with that. It'll be a long, hard road, but it'll be ultimately rewarding.
Second: If you're with a therapist you like, and no matter how hard you guys work, you still can't get better, look into seeing a psychiatrist. It is very possible you have a chemical imbalance. Personally, I don't like anti-depressants, but I went on them because there was nothing else I could possibly do (depression runs in my family, alcoholism etc blah blah).
This is important when dealing with anti-depressants: realize that there's nothing weird about it, there's nothing to be ashamed about in regards to it. There are loads of people on them, that you would never, ever suspect.

A final point of advice: DO NOT GO OFF YOUR MEDICATION WITHOUT CONSULTING YOUR PSYCHIATRIST.
I did this about two weeks ago, pretty much the worst idea of my life. Fucked up all the work I've done in the year or so I've been on them woooo :D

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. I know how much it sucks to be depressed, and I hope you take the right steps to get better.

[miokomioko]

Medication for such a diagnosis is not a cure. One of the problems with people taking medication for their diagnosed depression (aside from the shitty initial side effects) is that once you start feeling better/happier, you will most likely come to the conclusion that it's you getting over it and not actually the medication changing the chemical balances inside your skull. Thus, patients tend to halt their dosage, deciding they don't need it, and it all comes rushing back.

My girlfriend is currently a pretty depressed individual (for understandable reasons, but mostly from losing both of her parents at a young age) and is finally considering therapy but has this "fuck it" attitude and just wants the pills as some kind of instant gratification. Unfortunately, that's a pretty unhealthy way to go about it. Her own sister would constantly go back and forth with her depression medication... taking it, dealing with side effects, getting better, stop taking it, rinse/repeat.

The medication will help with the instant gratification, but it's a serious thing to consider. I'm personally very uncomfortable with her getting on medication that could potentially alter (even if just the slightest) the girl I've been with for years. Medication is something you can take to assist the therapeutic process of opening up to a doctor... but if prescribed alone with no accompanying therapy, it can be rather dangerous.

I'm all for the undisclosed listener type of psychological therapy. There's not many people in anyone's lives that they can completely spill their guts to without any repercussions whatsoever. None of it will come back to your friends/family when you talk shit about them. None of your embarassing moments and shameful admissions will find their way back into your personal life. That is one of the best things about such therapy and, while being a slow process to build trust in order to do so, could help one realize that a large amount of what they are experiencing is not out of the ordinary. Depending on one's innate stubborness or lack therof, it can be an extremely potent way to deal with inexplicable depression.

[Yuri-G]

^ I agree. I will not tell anyone else what they should do regarding medication because it's not my place, but I am an extremely firm believer in not ever taking psych medication myself, for most of the reasons listed above. Yes, it masks the symptoms, but it's never going to fix the problem until they invent a medication that can completely change your brain chemistry, permanently, even once you quit the medication. I'd rather just work on the problem myself, knowing that once I fix it, I own the solution. It's mine, and nothing can take that away from me.

I do believe it's important in some cases - like elphaba's above - but I think it should be reserved for times of extreme need, and should not be used just to make a person feel better.