Tell me your worst joke!

[Norellicus]

I'm worried now, I got the last one before he pointed it out

[Jaybar]

Why was 8 afraid of 7?

Spoiler: show

That nigga was about to eat him.

[Charismatic]

Humans

[Mizango]

Inc Texas jokes....

[ferigor]

What's so funny about a trash can full of babies?

Spoiler: show

The bottom one trying to get out.

I know its wrong to love dead baby jokes, but I do. Here's how I heard this one though:
Whats worse than a dead baby? A Pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? Having one on the bottom that's alive, trying to eat its way out.

[Abandon]

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?

Spoiler: show

One, you can unload with a pitchfork.

[Ragnell]

This thread has more good jokes than bad ones now, or maybe i'm laughing because of how bad they are..

[Azkarin2]

I know its wrong to love dead baby jokes, but I do. Here's how I heard this one though:
Whats worse than a dead baby? A Pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? Having one on the bottom that's alive, trying to eat its way out.

What's worse than that? He goes back for seconds.

FINISH THE DRILL!

[Illek♫]

Heisenberg was driving when he was suddenly stopped by the traffic cop. The traffic cop asked him: "Do you know how fast you were driving?"
Heisenberg replied:

Spoiler: show

No, but I know where I am.

I loled

[Devia]

What time do you go to the dentist?

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tooth hurty

[0ni0n]

Heisenberg was driving when he was suddenly stopped by the traffic cop. The traffic cop asked him: "Do you know how fast you were driving?"
Heisenberg replied:

Spoiler: show

No, but I know where I am.

I actually understand the joke, what a nerd.

[GImpers]

A wealthy man decides he wants to settle down. He finds three women and tells each of them he is going to give them each $1,000,000 to do whatever they want and to come back in three months and tell him what they did with the money. Then, he will decide on who to marry.

Three months goes by.

The man asks the women what they did with the money.

The first one replies, "I went out a traveled the world. This way, when we get married I can show you the best spots around the world. Wherever we go, I will know the best places to visit. I will be able to show YOU the best time. You and only you."

The second one replies, "I invested the money in the stock market. I built up a highly diversified portfolio and have turned the $1,000,000 into $10,000,000. This way, when we get married, you will no longer have to work and I can be there for YOU. You and only you.

The third one replies, "I went out shopping. I bought myself the top of the line outfits. The best jewelry I could find. This way, when we get married, I can look good for YOU. You and only you.

Which woman did the man choose?

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The one with the biggest tits

[Mici]

When does a black guy become a nigger?

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When he leaves the room

[Khamsin]

What did one man say to the other after having attended the traveling circus?

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Man, that was intense!

[Max™]

I actually understand the joke, what a nerd.

I actually understand that the joke was improperly told, and more accurately understand the physical mechanism behind the joke than most.

The joke actually went as follows, it's a subtle difference, but hey:

<Policeman> Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
<Heisenberg> No, but I knew exactly where I was.

Spoiler: show

Heisenberg assumed that the Uncertainty principle was a fundamental property of the Universe, and that it spoke to an inherently non-local nature of reality. This offended Einstein's sensibilities, mine as well, and it does not mesh with a description of physics which includes Relativity. There seems to be a way out, which is to assume that causality is not as absolute as we assume.

That way, when you measure one aspect of an object, it doesn't become uncertain where it is because you collapsed some non-locally spread spatial wave function, rather you altered the state of the object in the past and future relative to your observed Now.

The Snapple one is great too, love xkcd.

Bad joke time.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?

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Orange you glad I didn't say "Horny nigger about to rape you?"

[Pyro]

What does it say on the inside of a black guys lip?

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Inflate to 30 PSI

[Auronx]

How does every black joke start?

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With a look over your shoulder

[Casty]

If you want to offend everyone...

What sound does a baby make while in the microwave?

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I dunno, I was too busy jacking off...

[Obev]

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?

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Orange you glad I didn't say "Horny nigger about to rape you?"

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?

Spoiler: show

Orange you glad I didn't say "Banana"?

[guartz]

http://www.qwantz.com/comics/comic2-759.png