Tell me your worst joke!

[Skjie]

I think Skjie won this contest in the last thread with this http://www.bluegartr.com/forum/67739...ml#post2424694

Of course I did. I was thinking about posting it again, now I don't have to!

[Ruiner]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

Spoiler: show

You can't fuck a rock.

[guartz]

Of course I did. I was thinking about posting it again, now I don't have to!

I read all of it. It's only funny because you make people read all of that to meet a very anti-climatic joke. I say obvious statements are way funnier, like this one.

[Cream Soda]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

Spoiler: show

You can't fuck a rock.

LMFAO

[Dense]

A priest was driving poorly when he caused an accident. After getting out and assessing the damage, he realised that the driver of the other vehicle was a Rabbi from a local Synagogue. After talking it over, they realised that neither of them were injured at all, and the only casualties of the accident were the two cars. After a bit more talking, they agreed that it must have been a miracle. Overjoyed with the fact that God had spared them both, the Priest went into his car and returned with an unblemished bottle of special wine reserved for holy occasions.
"I believe that God wanted us to meet on this occasion," began the Priest, "and since he spared this bottle of wine, I think we should use this occasion to mark our meeting, and the unity of faiths!"
The rabbi agreed, and the Priest handed him the now opened bottle of wine.
"Wow, this is amazing wine," said the Rabbi, "thanks for occasion," he said handing it back to the Priest.
As the priest continued to stand there, the Rabbi asked, "Aren't you going to celebrate this occasion?"

Spoiler: show

The Priest said simply, "I think I'll just wait for the police."

[Devia]

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to get his wife's test results. The nurse says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a mix-up and we have a bit of a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife."
"That's awful! Can we do the test over? "
"Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."
"Well, what are we supposed to do now?"

Spoiler: show

"Your insurance company recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her."

[Crouchingllama]

Two guys were at a baseball game and saw a woman on the top row of the bleachers with a dark patch showing under her skirt, as her legs were wide open. The two guys argued about it for a bit, it's bush, no it's panties! Then they told Little Johnny to go check for them for $5 and come back to tell them who was right. He came back and both guys said, well? Little Johnny said, you're both wrong, it was flies.

[Crouchingllama]

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?

















Its ass.

[Norellicus]

A priest was driving poorly when he caused an accident. After getting out and assessing the damage, he realised that the driver of the other vehicle was a Rabbi from a local Synagogue. After talking it over, they realised that neither of them were injured at all, and the only casualties of the accident were the two cars. After a bit more talking, they agreed that it must have been a miracle. Overjoyed with the fact that God had spared them both, the Priest went into his car and returned with an unblemished bottle of special wine reserved for holy occasions.
"I believe that God wanted us to meet on this occasion," began the Priest, "and since he spared this bottle of wine, I think we should use this occasion to mark our meeting, and the unity of faiths!"
The rabbi agreed, and the Priest handed him the now opened bottle of wine.
"Wow, this is amazing wine," said the Rabbi, "thanks for occasion," he said handing it back to the Priest.
As the priest continued to stand there, the Rabbi asked, "Aren't you going to celebrate this occasion?"

Spoiler: show

The Priest said simply, "I think I'll just wait for the police."

wat

[Skjie]

I read all of it. It's only funny because you make people read all of that to meet a very anti-climatic joke. I say obvious statements are way funnier, like this one.

It's still funny.

[Jaybar]

I thought it was a great joke. You get pulled into an intense and mysterious drama, and the end is like a brick wall of pwnd.

[Flarega]

wat

Explanation

Spoiler: show

The priest gets the rabbi to drink so he'll have alcohol in his system and get blamed for the accident.

Kinda lame, but yeah.

[Gunitsoldier]

Why do all black people have nightmares?

Spoiler: show

Because we shot the only one who had a dream

win

[bigrougabagel]

I'm so very dissapointed in all of you for forgetting this one.

Have you heard about the new pirate movie?"

Spoiler: show

It's rated ARRRRRR.

[Casty]

Of course I did. I was thinking about posting it again, now I don't have to!

I was JUST about to post this joke, thanks a lot for sharing it awhile back.

[guartz]

Here is the deal with dead baby jokes.

By themselves, they are not funny. Not even remotely, and if you think they are funny, God have mercy on your soul.

The only thing actually funny is the reaction people have to dead baby jokes.

[Plow]

So they're making a new movie, a biography of Amelia Erhart.

The working title is Never Findingland.

[Galkaeater]

What did Batman say to Robin to get him in the car?
Get in the car.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.

How are a plum and a rabbit alike?
They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

Why are black people so good at basketball?
because they PRACTICE

How many Hindu's can you get into a Mini?
4 adults and possibly a small child.

What do you call a hispanic working at pizza hut?
An employee.

What was the pirate movie rated?
PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

One time a boy came home from school and he said to his dad 'Dad I had sex with my teacher.' His dad was like 'Good job.' A few months later the boy died of STDs.

Yo Mama's so fat, that she was instructed by the doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or even a heart attack later in life.

Three men walk into a bar. They're all alcoholics, and they beat their wives.

How do you know it's bed time at Michael Jaskson's house?
When Michael Jackson is tired.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Why couldn't Sally ride a bike?
Because Sally had Cerebral Palsy.

[Ramzii]

I don't know why, but every single one of those jokes (well not rly jokes) made me laugh.

[kuronosan]

Okay, I'll post it again.

What is 6^pi?

Spoiler: show

A pie with six carrots in it.