funny/weirdest/etc. things your neighbors have done

[yayaok]

damn, some of you have fucked up ppl living near you

once, it was 11pm and i was going out for a drink. i got dressed and went out to get on the elavator only to see a group of high schoolers smoking and shit by the stairs on my floor. one of the kids is this dude that lives 7 floors below me and i see him quite often.

so anyway, i was thinking of being coolio n stuff cause i was the same at their age, but i was fucking hella pissed that day and decided to bitch the fuck outta them. then one kid starts breaking down and says plz dont tell their parents, so i said 'guys im not a faggot, im prolly like 3yrs older than you lol just gtfo and smoke elsewhere.' they ran their asses down the stairs (i live in 16th floor), and when i got off the elavtor on 1F i could still hear them running down the stairs... was so fucking funny lol

fast forward to today, whenever i catch the kid on the elavator they bow to me and say 'hello, big brother', i always grin so badly lol

[SamanosukeShiva]

well.... when I was 11 yrs old I used to play at my friend's house all the time, we were neighbor. One time I went in to my friend's older sister's room, my friend's older sis was smoking something (think it was meth, sure as hell wasnt weed) out of a bong and then she yelled at me and I ran.

I didnt know wtf bong was at the time, thought it's just some wierd lookin toy. I didnt realize that until years later lol. I was like "ooo.. so that's what that thing was....."

[Zeb]

One day, back when I was in the 9th grade, I was over at my friend's house with his younger brother and another friend. The brothers decided to show us that they'd broken into their parent's porn stash; we watched some old ass hard corn porn. This was all of our's first viewing of porn that went beyond Cinemax and Playboy. It was some movie where a dude ends up fucking his own sister accidently. We were all like wtf! I also remember a hardcore discussion about one of the women in the movie pissing while being fucked in the movie, I think learning about squirting back then would have blown our minds. Two days later, we were on the school bus when, my friend's brother pulls from his backpack another item fund from their parent's porn stash, one of his mom's (I hope it wasn't his dad's) dildoes. This dildo was one of those 15 inch long ones and was like 3 inches in diamater. He proceed to smack a few people in the head with it and general be a fucktard, like he was. I guess it never occured to him to be embarassed about his mom's love of dick size. We used to make fun of him later about playing with his mom's 50lbs of swinging meat.

[Mici]

So a few years ago me and like 6 friends just got home from partying. Its like 7am and we are all out on the front lawn having a smoke. The guy across the street comes out and starts his van up, then goes back in, maybe 2min later we hear some yelling "hey, stop asshole!" we look over and the old man (like 50) is hanging on the passenger door yelling. The van start to pull away but hits the big cable thing coming of the phone pole, he stops abruptly and the old man falls off, the van then backs up turns and takes off, running over the old man twice.
Maybe 10min later the old man is on his way to the hospital (he lived) and the cops are getting pissed asking how 7 people didn't see anything happening 100ft from them.

As for putting one in for my neighbor, I'm fairly sure the the guy across the street from me saw my wife blowing me on the trunk of our car at 5am, we heard the beep as he unlocked it, then after he backed out and drove past us he waved and honked. I had no idea people left for work that early.

[0ni0n]

lol

[Azalee]

Thankfully where I live now the neighbors are all old and generally keep to themselves. Probably the weirdest thing I have seen is the old guy down the street using a pressure-washer on his grass.

In our old house we lived next door to a house full of Cambodian people. They had a house the same size as ours, but they had maybe 10 people living in it. Weekend nights the most common thing to be heard was Cambodian Karaoke... And if you have never heard the sound, you are blessed. Drunk Cambodian's trying to sing sound kind of like dying animals. They actually made horrible neighbors as well.

[Pun]

In my old neighborhood I had a lady who lived next door who was absolutely batshit insane. She would sit on her patio running a cloth over some old shotgun screaming random profanity at seemingly no one; we would also hear her cursing in the middle of the night. She had 2 tiny poodles, both of which were blind, that she would walk only around 3am in the morning. She waited to get her mail until that time, too.

Anyway, one day I ran into her in Publix (grocery chain) and her entire cart was filled to the brim with a metric ton of bologna.

My other neighbor was an alcoholic. He would ring our doorbell in the middle of the night saying he wanted hugs, and a ride to the mall. He fell asleep in our bushes sometimes. When he moved out, my dad inspected his house (he was the president of the association at the time) and the ENTIRE house had human shit EVERYWHERE. The sinks, in the carpets, on the tiled floor, on the walls, even on the ceiling.

The neighbor to my right was my only cool one. He was a pot dealer and lived with his son who at the time was around my age. Dreamcast had just come out and he would invite me over to play the shit out of it. We would play poker with his nude cards. Was awesome.

[Fhqwghads]

Neighbors next to me had a daughter who was (and probably still is) strung out on meth. She seemed friendly enough and we had no idea she was using that crap, until one morning my wife and I wake up to someone constantly knocking on our front door and ringing the doorbell really early in the morning. I never answer the door because I couldn't give a fuck about people if they don't tell me they're coming over, and I never have anyone over early in the morning, so I knew it couldn't be anyone I wanted to see. But the knocking and doorbell ringing kept going on for about 15 minutes. My wife finally gives up and goes to answer it. Turns out it's the next door neighbor's daughter all strung out on meth, who was insisting that she use our bathroom. I have no clue why she wouldn't use hers, but my wife had to argue with her for 5 minutes and finally just shut the door on her. We found out sometime later that she's a meth addict, and was probably just spun out of her mind that day.

And no, she is soooo not even remotely good looking, so don't bother asking. She's pretty gross.

[Jaybar]

I always knew my neighbors were kind of weird. I've seen the wife coming in and out of the house often on off days when the husband is out (I think he does long-distance business calls, so he's out for like 2 or 3 days). I decided to put two and two together, and with that I enjoyed a nice peaceful living in my humble abode without any problems.

Just to let you know, my daily schedule sucks. I have to wake up at 4am to get ready for work (1+ hr of traffic if I'm lucky). So, it's a wonderful Monday morning (until I pull off onto the highway), the sun has yet to peak into the blue sky, and I'm pulling out of my garage preparing for a shit day. I thought I saw a couple deer or racoons on my neighbors driveway, but it turned out to be worse than that. The silhouettes of what I thought were animals were really my neighbors. The wife was giving her husband a blow job right there on the trunk of their car. Can you believe that? I honked and shouted at the husband "She's cheating on you!" but I don't think he heard me. The things people do at 5am.

[Dimmauk]

My friend had a crazy neighbor that had 7 kids. All of the kids were in special education, and pretty retarded. The dad used to shop at the grocery store I worked at, and he always bought out all of the KY jelly. My friend said that they had more kids but they died in freak accidents. He also said they eat nothing but McDonalds, and he thought the kids were incest kids.

[deshende]

hard corn porn.

I could see how that would corrupt a young mind.

[Conformity]

fucked me

[Darunia]

Ok i live in a little village which has the average age of 70-90, me and 1 other family are the only people below 60 here.
So when i used to do late night Dynamis with my old LS, the retired couple across the road a few doors down used to leave the house at around 3am for hell knows what reason. By the time id noticed the lights on across the street they were already in their car and pulling out of the driveway.
Eventually after a month or two of noticing this behavior i decided to go afk during the event just to watch their house, making sure i had all of the lights off here to not raise suspicion.
To my horror, the old man came out of the house first, wearing a black leather corsette with red laces, leather chaps and black leather knee high boots. Then his wife followed wearing a shiney black plastic tuxedo with pink bow-tie. From the looks of it they were going to some sort of Rocky Horror Picture Show party or something, ive never really asked them about it and to this day if im up late ill always take a peek to see if theyre doing anything funny.

[Senoska]

Not my story, but my dads.

His neighbor was Aileen Wuornos: Aileen Wuornos - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

They came and did a movie with my dad and my aunts and stuff since they grew up with and were very good friends with her. They had lived together for a period of time. Pretty fucked up actually. She was raped and whatnot.

Ever seen the movie monster? It's about her, yo.

[Chips]

One of my neighbors happens to be an old crazy woman. She needs meds, otherwise she starts to clean sporadically... So if you walk on her property at all, she freaks out and goes batshit insane. One of my other neighbors had this little girl that was like 5 years old who walked onto the old woman's lawn while she was watering her plants. The little girl waved and said hello, and the woman's response was a pressure washer to the face from about 4 feet away.

[Dimmauk]

This was my Dad's neighbor when he was growing up.

http://www.clevelandseniors.com/imag...th-monkees.jpg

Robert Michael Nesmith (b. December 30, 1942) in Harris County, Texas, is an American musician, songwriter, actor, producer, novelist, businessman, and philanthropist, perhaps best known for his time in the musical group The Monkees and on the TV series of the same name. Michael Nesmith is also notable as a songwriter, including "Different Drum" sung by Linda Ronstadt with the Stone Poneys, as well as executive producer of the cult film Repo Man. Nesmith won the first Grammy Award (1981) given for Video of the Year for his hour-long Elephant Parts.

Nesmith was an only child, and his parents, Warren Audrey Nesmith and Bette Nesmith Graham, separated when he was very young. With his father gone, Nesmith's mother worked as a secretary. Their fortunes changed when Bette invented a typewriter correction fluid later known commercially as Liquid Paper.

Michael Nesmith is associated with other notable people, organizations, and rock bands, besides The Monkees and First National Band:

* Nesmith was good friends with late author Douglas Adams, whose body of work includes The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
* Nesmith is an avid archivist of early music videos, the bulk of which comprised the rotation of Video Concert Hall and early MTV.
* The Tragically Hip took their name from a skit in Nesmith's long-form video Elephant Parts.
* Nesmith is also known as "Papa Nez". (Or, simply, "Nez/Nes".)
* The back sleeve of Tantamount to Treason contains the "papa nes home-brew recipe" (for beer). It also contains a warning and a line with the text "autoclaving turns this line brown."
* Nesmith is exactly three years older than fellow Monkee Davy Jones and twelve years younger than fellow First National Band member Orville "Red" Rhodes, who both share his birthday: December 30.

[Jaybar]

Since we are on the subject of famous people atm, I was neighbors with Richard Marx. He and his family weren't much for neighbors though. They refused to be seen in public (go figure, but it was a hella small North Shore town in the middle of bumblefuck and nowhere). Eventually I saw him with his kids playing, but it's too bad he never introduced them to the neighbors. We were all really tight peeps, all around the same age (like age 7 to 11).

Oh yea, and John Paxson and his family made for incredible neighbors as well. I guess you can consider that weird considering both of the families mentioned are in the "spotlight" (especially back then in the early 90's) yet their social lives with others were polar opposites.

[Penthesilea]

didn't read all of the stories, but um.

how about being drunk late at night and stealing stuff from the neighbors and neighbors garage. little kids bikes, patio furniture, etc. they all ended up in a guy's pool down the street. oh and a gas grill.

guess i'm not that nice

[Galkaeater]

Neighbors next to me had a daughter who was (and probably still is) strung out on meth. She seemed friendly enough and we had no idea she was using that crap, until one morning my wife and I wake up to someone constantly knocking on our front door and ringing the doorbell really early in the morning. I never answer the door because I couldn't give a fuck about people if they don't tell me they're coming over, and I never have anyone over early in the morning, so I knew it couldn't be anyone I wanted to see. But the knocking and doorbell ringing kept going on for about 15 minutes. My wife finally gives up and goes to answer it. Turns out it's the next door neighbor's daughter all strung out on meth, who was insisting that she use our bathroom. I have no clue why she wouldn't use hers, but my wife had to argue with her for 5 minutes and finally just shut the door on her. We found out sometime later that she's a meth addict, and was probably just spun out of her mind that day.

And no, she is soooo not even remotely good looking, so don't bother asking. She's pretty gross.

thats not a nice thing to say about your wife

As for putting one in for my neighbor, I'm fairly sure the the guy across the street from me saw my wife blowing me on the trunk of our car at 5am, we heard the beep as he unlocked it, then after he backed out and drove past us he waved and honked. I had no idea people left for work that early.

The silhouettes of what I thought were animals were really my neighbors. The wife was giving her husband a blow job right there on the trunk of their car. Can you believe that? I honked and shouted at the husband "She's cheating on you!" but I don't think he heard me. The things people do at 5am.

WAT

[ZarakiKujata]

While you are away at school please take a basic english class and ask the teacher what a run-on sentence is, and learn how to never write anything remotely resembling what you just wrote.

Also, what is your professor's email?

Hi, welcome to an internet messageboard. The internet is where people usually communicate in a way that is more relaxed and slightly different from how they usually communicate in real life. Also, I'm sure my text was also not the worst case of internet run-ons you've seen. I've taken numerous english and writing intensive classes. The lowest grade I received in any of those classes was an A- so I think I'll be fine.

Anyways, I fixed a spelling error for you and the wording throughout your sentence is a bit awkward. I've taken the liberty of showing a way it could be fixed. In the future, try reading out loud anything you have written if you are unsure of the wording because it really helps spot where the sentence gets awkward. I guess maybe we should just trade our english professor's emails since we both clearly need a refresher course or maybe people in glass houses shouldn't throw black kettles at other pots?