I need to stop masturbating

[Conrad]

I have a crick in my elbow that I just noticed and my wrist hurts if I try and support my weight on it. I'm jerking myself into a lifetime of arthritis. Unemployment and boredom make this even more difficult.

How do I fix this?

[Colenzo]

inb4 get a girlfriend

[Blarg]

Use your mouth, keep trying to contort yourself until you make it or die trying.

[Conrad]

Because I'm totally going to stop masturbating once I start fucking someone, right? lolbereal

[Colenzo]

yeah no shit, I know I wouldnt

[Shiroikage]

Just remember that you're a sinner and that your palms are going to get hairy and you're going to go blind.

[Colenzo]

I remember a guy on vent saying that he shaved his palms on a regular basis.

[Conrad]

Use your mouth, keep trying to contort yourself until you make it or die trying.

This would make me gay because there's a penis in my mouth, so the sheer act of doing so would make me want to kill myself anyway. Your solution has no positive outcome.

[Shiroikage]

I would blow myself if I could. In a heartbeat.

[Shiroikage]

I would probably be doing it instead of posting.

[Cheerios]

being found dead in that position seems like a good way to die

[Shiroikage]

being found dead in that position seems like a good way to die

If I had a chance of dying while blowing myself, I'd probably just have a dead man's switch that blows me up or something.

[Colenzo]

man, I wish I could blow myself, its like masturbation on a whole other level

[#686578]

This would make me gay because there's a penis in my mouth, so the sheer act of doing so would make me want to kill myself anyway. Your solution has no positive outcome.

Charismatic really believes this.

[Colenzo]

if it feels good and you are alone doing it then who cares lol

[Conrad]

Numbers picked up on the sarcasm, which is good because I didn't want to have to tell Shiro that I trolled him.

[Ryko]

[Shiroikage]

Only a true bro can troll me.

[Conrad]

hasn't stopped you yet

[Charismatic]

Wow, you guys really are gay.