Calling in to Work

[Dimmauk]

I've been working for over 16 years, and I've called in sick, or other things before.
As a Manager, I've heard some of the funniest, saddest, and weirdest reasons someone couldn't come to work.
I've heard "My Van is too Drunk to drive" The guy was wasted and called in drunk.
I've heard "My Dog is sick"
I've heard "I'm in jail"
I've heard "My wife is cheating on me, and I'm going to kill myself"
I've heard "I got herpes"

I've heard almost every reason you can think of, but this morning I heard a new one.

My Co-worker called in this morning and said, "I'm on my way to Austin, I just won 2.5 Million Dollars"
She won on a $20 scratch off. She will probably quit(who wouldnt?), but I cant get over the fact that she got to make one of the most epic call ins to work ever! I couldnt help but think of Dave Chappelle's "I"M RICH BIATCH!" skit.

If you won that much money, what would you do? School, vacation, go into hiding?

[0ni0n]

Invest that $2.5million in risk free CDs at 3% and get effortless $75000/yr in annual interest and live happily ever after. In reality, I will probably go to law school using the annual interest so when I graduate I will get ($150,000+$75,000)+ a year.

[zoobernut]

First I would pay off my house. Then I would go on an epic vacation, after that I would go back to school. I might still actually try to keep my job though because it would be fun to have even more extra super spending cash. 2.5mil is enough to live on but not enough to spend money like crazy buying stuff.

Your employee is very lucky.

[Skjie]

Invest that $2.5million in risk free CDs at 3% and get effortless $75000/yr in annual interest and live happily ever after. In reality, I will probably go to law school using the annual interest so when I graduate I will get ($150,000+$75,000)+ a year.

This is partially the right answer. Spreading your money to different investments is a far better situation, but drawing off a portion of the interest is the right answer.

[0ni0n]

/obligatory "2 chicks at the same time"

[Skjie]

http://images1.fanpop.com/images/qui...28_500_263.jpg

[bigrougabagel]

I would wait around for someone i really hate to have a birthday party. I would get them a book.. something lame.. a 5 dollar paperback from a gas station. After they get the book and that look of bewilderment and anger starts to sprout on their face, i would wheel in the 100,000 dollar cake. Eat up, you will never ever have anything worth this much in your mouth ever again. I forget who i plagarized this from, someone call me out.

On topic i guess: The best work excuse ive heard was "I cant come in, I'm in detroit". I live in Kentucky, its about a 10 hour drive, it was a wednesday. No one, including this guy is clear how or why he was in the back of these peoples car. Aparently someone he was drinking with that night and they thought "ROAD TRIP!!!". Took him about 2 weeks to get back to KY. That is the one excuse that I heard where there was 0 doubt as to the truthiness of it. You cannot make that one up.

[Cephius]

We had a customer service girl here who's husband won $1 million on a scratch off last year, and she actually stayed here and worked for another year before quitting. I guess 1m just doesn't go as far as it used to

[Tyche]

Other than paying off my mortgage and other various debts, I'd quit my job and go to med school.

As far as call-ins...

"My hot water heater busted, I have hot water all over my floor"
"I fell down the stairs" - From my CEO
"I was up late playing world of warcraft"

[Ragnell]

I don't see why you would quit your job, make money while you have money. Invest it, bank it, then use it how you want to better yourself.

[Cheerios]

Don't gotta do shit for unemployment checks.

[Diamicles]

We had a customer service girl here who's husband won $1 million on a scratch off last year, and she actually stayed here and worked for another year before quitting. I guess 1m just doesn't go as far as it used to

Most likely to see the full returns from the interest before spending any of the money. This is most likely what I would do, but I'd keep my job because it gives me something to do besides screw off.

[Dimmauk]

/obligatory "2 chicks at the same time"

http://images1.fanpop.com/images/qui...28_500_263.jpg

LOL.


I'd go back to school, and get back into Martial Arts.

[Day]

Fuck that keeping your job shit, you guys are crazy as hell.

[0ni0n]

Fuck that keeping your job shit, you guys are crazy as hell.

Not working and idling at home is overrated. You will be bored by like the 3rd week, personally I won't last 1st week before I yearn for things to do.

[Day]

Why would I stay at home? I'm riiiiicccchhhhh

[Dimmauk]

Why would I stay at home? I'm riiiiicccchhhhh

Yup. There is plenty to do when you are rich.

[Tyche]

I'd certainly quit my job, but just so I could devote the time to med school. I'd probably do some kind of volunteer/charity work at a children's hospital after I was finished.

Also, it just occured to me that Texas doesn't have a state income tax, so that lady is really going to the bank.

[0ni0n]

Why would I stay at home? I'm riiiiicccchhhhh

Traveling and snorting cocaine off hookers' ass are expensive, 2.5millison isn't as much as you would think.

[Day]

That really would be the best phone call to ever make though. "Fuck you bitches! I hit the lotto!!"

I'd call twice and act like I forgot I called the first time, just to rub it in.

Edit: Good thing I don't do Cocaine and/or Hookers.