So... my girl wants to be celibate...

[Seraph]

She said no blowjobs, no handjobs

[...]

She also doesn't want me to masturbate or watch porn.

[...]

I just feel like I'm being punished.

[...]

3 more years at the earliest.

"Hahaha, yeah right babe."

[Dimmauk]

She said no blowjobs, no handjobs, we've never done anal and I'm sure that's a no also. She also doesn't want me to masturbate or watch porn.

The 1-8 times sounds like a lot but it's not. The 8 times only happened once and that's cause we were trying to break a previous record of mine. It's one of those, we're young, let's see if we can do it X amount of times type deal. So on average it's like 2-3 times a night (when I bust). So the 8 in the previous post only happened once.

I just feel like I'm being punished. I sat and watched my friends, both male and female, cheat one their partners and get away with it. I've been 100% faithful but I'm the one getting no sex? It's ridiculous. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it but I don't foresee us getting married anytime soon. 3 more years at the earliest.

Dude, fuck that shit. There are plenty of hot women in DFW(if thats where you still live), fuck that testing you shit. How dare her make a dumb request like that.

[Valisk]

It's upsetting that you don't seem to know why she wants this, outside of the vague "church" situation. Which is probably because she doesn't know exactly why she wants it either. There's something going on here (and I don't mean another guy or whatever) and whatever that is, is a problem. Get to the bottom of it.

Well she gave me 2 main reasons and a bullshit reason. She said that the #1 reason is that she doesn't feel comfortable asking God for blessings and forgiveness when she is knowingly sinning (sex) on a daily.

The #2 reason is that she tells her parents almost everything but she hasn't told them that she lost her virginity. She says she doesn't want to continue to lie to them. I tried explaining that we've already done it so you'd be lying to them regardless if they ask. She countered with she'll tell them eventually and at that time she wants to be able to tell them that we have been celibate for X number of months/years/decades. It's just so frustrating that we didn't start off this way but I have to adjust so much after 4 years. It's not fair that she is holding all the cards and basically deciding our sex life by herself. I don't know if I can do this.

Edit: Oh the bullshit reason was: "I want to see if our relationship isn't purely based on sex."

[Cephius]

Ok, no sex is one thing, but telling you not to jack off is another. Who is she to tell you that? It's your body, not hers. Its a million times harder for a guy to not get off.

At first I thought it was a test, but now it sounds more like "bitch be crazy" syndrome. Get out!

[Neosutra]

Break it off now. You dont want to be married to a sexual prude. If a woman lets religion dominate her sexual decisions, then you will have a really piss poor relationship.

[Seraph]

If you can't masturbate, she can't buy new clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, or accessories. See who breaks first.

[Maguspk]

You're asking something you know the answer to. If you are ready for the commitment and you think you can see yourself getting married to her then you should respect her decision and let it play out and see how it ends up. Not having sex 24/7 will actually make it more special when the day comes that you do it again. There's a reason couples about to get married sometimes forgo a few weeks of sex, and it isn't religion, it's to intensify their honeymoon experience.

The other option is you aren't ready for commitment and you need to get out. Besides, if not having sex ruins your relationship entirely, like somebody else said, it wasn't much to begin with.

[Kajii]

no masturbating for you? wtf did the church tell her lmao

[Ruiner]

Well she gave me 2 main reasons and a bullshit reason. She said that the #1 reason is that she doesn't feel comfortable asking God for blessings and forgiveness when she is knowingly sinning (sex) on a daily.

She better quit eating shellfish then, too.

[Day]

not to spill the seed

[Bingbong]

There's a reason women about to get married sometimes forgo a few weeks of sex, and it isn't religion, it's to intensify their honeymoon experience.

Fixed.

The only guys that allow this to happen, are the ones that are going to be whipped forever anyway.

In the end, she is making a decision by herself about something that affects both of you. It's not fair of her, and you need to make sure you let her know that.

[Neosutra]

Seriously, get the fuck out now.

[Cephius]

You're asking something you know the answer to. If you are ready for the commitment and you think you can see yourself getting married to her then you should respect her decision and let it play out and see how it ends up. Not having sex 24/7 will actually make it more special when the day comes that you do it again. There's a reason couples about to get married sometimes forgo a few weeks of sex, and it isn't religion, it's to intensify their honeymoon experience.

The other option is you aren't ready for commitment and you need to get out. Besides, if not having sex ruins your relationship entirely, like somebody else said, it wasn't much to begin with.

Not sure I agree with the bolded. Sure, "needing" sex seems shallow and gives the idea that's all you're in for, but it IS a significant part of any healthy relationship. Making a major change to the basis of a relationship can make it difficult, it's not just limited to sex. While it may not apply to this particular case, someone having a problem with a sudden no-sex-rule isn't exactly deserving of the classic "well that's all you cared about anyway" response.

[Tetrarien]

I'll agree that it isn't right for her to be making these decisions on her own, especially the part about you not masturbating or watching porn.

However, just wanted to add that her "bullshit" reason really doesn't seem like bullshit to me. From your side of the story, it does seem like a lot of your relationship is based on sex. Thus while I don't agree with her idea of getting rid of sex completely, her third reason seems valid enough to me, as much as it sucks for you.

[Seraph]

Ah, the awe inspiring power of guilt. Introduce her to The Confessional™ and tell her to get on with life.

[Rammses]

If she has to find out if your relationship isn't purely based on sex, your relationship sucks. Congratulations, it only took you 4 years and the aid of a MMOPRG community to figure that out. Better than 10 or 20 I guess.

[Brill Weave]

The fact that she's saying she wants to see if your relationship is based on sex then says no porn or jerking off suggests something else going on here. I'll be blunt. It sounds like she's testing you. She doesn't want to have sex and to test to see how far you're going to let her take it she's even throwing in porn and masturbation into that category.

In short, no. If she wants to remain celibate that's fine. But you need to let her know in no uncertain terms that you are against this and you're against her attempting to take control of the relationship. No one person should make a decision of this magnitude on their own. Not when it greatly affects both participants.

[Darus Grey]

Get out.

On the flip side, being celibate isn't as hard as you'd think after awhile.

[Brill Weave]

On the flip side, being celibate isn't as hard as you'd think after awhile.

It is when you had no choice in making the decision but still want to keep your relationship alive.

[Xajii]

Get out.

Not because she wants to be celibate. Because of all the other fucked up shit. Like her being religiou---

But seriously, no masturbating? How the FUCK did you give this bitch the impression that she can control you like that? God damn