So... my girl wants to be celibate...

[Nystul]

not all churches are fire and brimstone. Not all republicans are neocons. Not all democrats are dirty hippies. Not all atheists are evil satanists. Not all gamers are fat nerds living with their parents.

There are a lot of shades to religion. To dismiss it entirely as some place that says sex is evil is naive and ignorant. Why NOT educate yourself to gain some understanding of where your girlfriend is coming from? He doesn't have to go to church with her forever. He doesn't have to buy into what they are selling there. But it wouldn't be a bad thing to gain some understanding of what her mindset is.

[Valisk]

If you're having sex THAT much, then one would say fairly safely that the majority of the time you two spend together is spent with your dick out. Fun, sure but odds are quite good that she's starting to wonder if there is anything beyond the physical side of this relationship. If you really loved the girl you'd talk this out with her and just try a challenge, go one month without sex and make an agreement to revisit the issue later, see how you both feel at that point.

Sex IS an important part of a long term relationship. But it seems like you guys pretty much have that down. Maybe she wants to be around you and not feel like you're trying to get her pants off. Of course, she's testing you. "will he still want to be around me when my vagina is off limits?" If you're serious about her, then you will. If you just like fucking her, then you won't.

We actually spend majority of our time just hanging out, going on dates, watching movies. We do have sex more than normal but we're young. If you don't use it you lose it. But seriously, we do plenty of other things and I have given her no reason to think that it's all about sex. That excuse is a cop out to me.

I'm gonna try it out, see what happens. But when I reach my breaking point, I'm gonna sit her down and talk to her and let her know that I tried and it's not for me (if I feel that way). Then we'll go from there.

[Pringles]

You've been beating your dick long before you met her and you'll be beating it long after she leaves you because "you're defiling yourself in the eyes of God". Why give up something that will always be there for you no matter what for someone who obviously won't be there for when you want it for at least the next 3 years. I've dated devout catholic girls before who still would have sex. They'd just their confessional thing every once in a while and it was good. Hell once I even was caught by a mother walking in on us before one time and she still would have sex after that. And this girl was super religious with church every Sunday all day and also would flip out if you even mentioned God in a demeaning way.

[Dimmauk]

We actually spend majority of our time just hanging out, going on dates, watching movies. We do have sex more than normal but we're young. If you don't use it you lose it. But seriously, we do plenty of other things and I have given her no reason to think that it's all about sex. That excuse is a cop out to me.

I'm gonna try it out, see what happens. But when I reach my breaking point, I'm gonna sit her down and talk to her and let her know that I tried and it's not for me (if I feel that way). Then we'll go from there.

You are too young to be that pussy whipped.

[grownup]

But seriously, we do plenty of other things and I have given her no reason to think that it's all about sex. That excuse is a cop out to me.

Have you read anything about basic animal biology and sex?
Especially human sex?

All religion and metaphysics aside:
Sex is a PHYSICALLY ADDICTING, biophysical action. There are particular hormones released that "bond" you at a biochemical level. Primarily, oxytocin.

References:
(damn it wont let me post direct links yet, you'll have to cut-n-paste sorry)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_sexuality_in_the_United_States#Oxytocin

oxytocin.org/oxytoc/love-science.html

Religion aside, it's still a smart move, to let the [edit: sex-bonding-related] hormones completely drain out of both of your systems and "live clean" for a good while, before you make a life-altering decision such as "should we get married or not?"

[Seraph]

Religion aside, it's still a smart move, to let the hormones completely drain out of both of your systems and "live clean" for a good while, before you make a life-altering decision such as "should we get married or not?"

Excuse me? Are you suggesting that if a young adult just sits on their hands all sexual desires are going to just up and disappear after some period of time....?

Yeah, and holy water also cleanses the toxins from your body.

[Correction]

Religion aside, it's still a smart move, to let the hormones completely drain out of both of your systems and "live clean" for a good while, before you make a life-altering decision such as "should we get married or not?"

http://i43.tinypic.com/35376lu.gif

An equally effective way of letting the 'hormones drain out' is to follow the 'bitch has got to go' advice. If texting an ultimatum is her response after a significantly reduced sexual diet then that's a clear indicator of where she's at. If her choice of language is ultimatum then there's nothing to responding in kind. To its logical conclusion, they may decide to get back together regardless and if they don't then it's time to move on. Why waste time with her goddamned church finding out their side of things when it's a foregone conclusion what they'll say to him? If feminism is a recognition of the will of females to decide for themselves then surely it applies to men as well.

Just because you can blow smoke with an NPOV-disputed wiki link doesn't mean you've earned your forum name.

[Weeks]

not all churches are fire and brimstone. Not all republicans are neocons. Not all democrats are dirty hippies. Not all atheists are evil satanists. Not all gamers are fat nerds living with their parents.

There are a lot of shades to religion. To dismiss it entirely as some place that says sex is evil is naive and ignorant. Why NOT educate yourself to gain some understanding of where your girlfriend is coming from? He doesn't have to go to church with her forever. He doesn't have to buy into what they are selling there. But it wouldn't be a bad thing to gain some understanding of what her mindset is.

Given the sudden change of heart and the teachings of mainstream religions in America, it is not at all naive to make an assumption about this church's views towards sex. And yes, it is and will always be a bad thing to accept the idea that the abandonment of deductive reasoning (More popularly referred to as "faith") is a virtue.

[Tyche]

It's hard to take someone seriously when they justify their argument by thinking they're the only one on the marriage pedestal and call out out "99%" of the posters.

[Ruiner]

If you love her, you need to be willing to compromise.

A little late, but this is not a compromise, not even close. This is "we were both enjoying an important part of our relationship, and now I'm going to cut you off completely from it with you having zero say in the matter. Oh, and I'm also going to forbid you from doing something that will partially fulfill your needs in this area while having no effect on me whatsoever just because I said so." Sex is not something that guys want for fun and girls hate but begrudgingly give up. It's a legitimately important part of any relationship, and for her to want to give that up for the sake of some bullshit test, or even more bullshit religion is a sign of some serious issues.

[Dimmauk]

We actually spend majority of our time just hanging out, going on dates, watching movies. We do have sex more than normal but we're young. If you don't use it you lose it. But seriously, we do plenty of other things and I have given her no reason to think that it's all about sex. That excuse is a cop out to me.

I'm gonna try it out, see what happens. But when I reach my breaking point, I'm gonna sit her down and talk to her and let her know that I tried and it's not for me (if I feel that way). Then we'll go from there.

Are you going to confess your sins to her when you masturbate?

[Tyche]

I give it 11 days before she breaks and decided that a lack of dick...sucks.

[Seraph]

I give it 11 days before she breaks and decided that a lack of dick...sucks.

Not if she keeps getting a fresh dose of guilt trip every 7 days. It will really boil down to just how important to her it really is.

[Shinryuu]

Tell her to choose between you and religion.

That's what I'd do, anyway. The outcome may not be very enjoyable in the short run but in the long run you'll be glad.

You don't negotiate with terrorists. Even talking to her about celibate is not an option, let alone considering it.

[Jefe]

Tell her to choose between you and religion.

That's what I'd do, anyway. The outcome may not be very enjoyable in the short run but in the long run you'll be glad.

You don't negotiate with terrorists. Even talking to her about celibate is not an option, let alone considering it.

I know you're trolling (you can't be this stupid). Now, I'm not defending her at all, it's just odd that she'd want that from one day to another. I say something wicked is going on here that we don't know. Irregardless, her demands would throw me off too if mine asked me that out of the blu.

[Obev]

Talk. Remind her that most definitions of Abraham's tetragrammatic deity include the words "unconditional love." God (if he exists)* loves you whatever you do. If he doesn't, why worship him? QED, Jesus doesn't care about you bumping uglies.

That works if she believes in the original Jesus. The nice one. The forgiving one. If she's worshipping Republican Jesus, I suggest you start running now. Republican Jesus takes no prisoners and made the Second Amendment the Eleventh Commandment.


*which he doesn't. But she evidently believes he does, so go with the flow.

[EternityEnd]

Irregardless

Who's trolling?

[grownup]

Talk. Remind her that most definitions of Abraham's tetragrammatic deity include the words "unconditional love." God (if he exists)* loves you whatever you do. If he doesn't, why worship him? QED, Jesus doesn't care about you bumping uglies.

Uhhh.. To use a non-religious comparison as a reference counter-point to that odd belief of yours:

Parents are often counted as having "unconditional love" for their children.

That doesnt mean that those same parents think it's ok for their children to
(go on a crime spree/have weekend orgies/be high on cocaine 24/7)

"unconditional love" DOES NOT mean "they dont care what you do, anything is just fine".
It means they'll love you even when you SCREW UP, but hope you change your mind and do the right thing, and forgive you if you straighten up.

PS: How does it make any sense to pick a religious belief based on what is most comfortable to you? Shouldnt it be done by which one you believe has a deity that is actually the creator/in control of the Universe?
And given that, how can your personal feelings of "well, i like these religious rules.. but i dont like those ones", have any bearing on which religion is actually true?

[_chuchu]

Who's trolling?

It's a art.

OP, if abstinence is not an option for you, then don't stay in the relationship. Better to be very happy than to lie to yourself about it imo. If you can compromise somehow, then more power to you.

[Xajii]

But seriously, all other arguments aside, this bitch is crazy and wants to control you and get exactly what she wants and if you cave in now the rest of your relationship is going to be miserable, you will lose any friends you may have and your life will be dominated by a stupid religious bitch