Cooking/food thread.

[gamez]

I wanted more food talk then just barbeque talk, and right now I'm watching a show about cooking squid almost like onion rings and wondering if anyone has tried something fucked up like that.

I'll whore myself out for more actual food information like mixing spices/how to sound like a fucking snob talking about food if people want to show off or learn how to make easy as hell shit you pay way more then you should for though. Also, how to not make food you suck at taste like shit. Some people are likely a lot better at certain things simply from family education alone, but I'm still interested.

I'm actually really picky despite being food obsessed, so I need suggestions of what I should try to cook that isn't going to make me hurl. Also, giving advise how to make basic shit taste really good.

tl;dr? Post shit that you want to learn to cook/think people should fking try eating.

[Krye]

If you have barbeque sauce why the fuck would you ever need anything else?

[Kiarax]

Tell me how to improve my toast experience other than slathering it in BBQ sauce.

[Day]

Tell me how to improve my toast experience other than slathering it in BBQ sauce.

Butter before you toast, while toasting make a mixture of 3 parts sugar to 1 part cinnamon. Once toasted sprinkle that shit, then do a lil dance.

[Kiarax]

A specific dance or is any dance good?

[Day]

Do your favorite.

[The Stig]

I want to learn how the JPs eat semen without throwing up. You get them bukkake pornos of 100 men jizzing into some bowl, then the girl dipping various food stuffs into it (i.e. sushi).

[gamez]

Personally, I'd go with the double-fisted stirring motion with a bit of waist gyration much like a victory dance. I don't know about buttering something before toasting.

Unless you're using a broiler or a toaster oven, but that really depends if you're the type to burn it or actually like it lightly done, buttering it makes it a fuck ton lighter tasting(read: MOIST).

Cinnamon Sugar on toast is awesome, they sell it premixed so you don't need to worry about doing what Day said.

I might be weird, but I like cheese spread like cheeze whiz on toast(hey, it's on the jar its meant to be, rite? though some people find this stuff disgusting).

If you make french toast, use whole wheat or grain, mix 3-4 eggs with cinnamon/sugar and melted butter, dip it and cook it in the frying pan, and if you want it crunchier like actual toast, top it with cinnamon sugar, butter, and maple syrup and stick it in the oven for like 5 minutes afterwards.

If you want awesome bacon with your toast.

- Stretch foil over a cookie sheet
- Poke holes in the foil for the grease to strain through into the drip pan you made between the sheet/foil.
-Cover the bacon in brown sugar.
- Cook it for 5 minutes at 420 in the oven. (220 C),
- Open oven if you have a shitty one, turn the tray around flipping the left/right so the shit cooks evenly, put it in for another 5 minutes, you can turn the oven off around the 8 minute mark and just let the built heat cook it however you want.
- 9-10 minutes, it'll come out crispy and the brown sugar will have sucked most of the chewy fat out of the meat and turned it more into a sticky hard candy taste thats sweeter then regular bacon but still awesome. The bacon will be perfectly flat/stiff unlike curling up in the frying pan when you flip it, no need to flip this though.
- Leave the greasy tray to cool off for awhile otherwise you're going to be trying to clean up hot oil/aluminum foil, better to clean up fat.

[Day]

I should clarify, this toast I'm talking about is broiled in stove or toaster oven so the bottom is still bread like. You use decent globs of butter so you have these little fucking pools of butter when you're done, which turn dark brown with the cinnamon sugar. If you have to buy cinnamon sugar premade something is fucking wrong with you.

[gamez]

I want to learn how the JPs eat semen without throwing up. You get them bukkake pornos of 100 men jizzing into some bowl, then the girl dipping various food stuffs into it (i.e. sushi).

*unzips* But seriously, you're probably best asking the Eye Candy for Women thread in General that question, as the population of gay males lurking there are more qualified at semen swallowing and texture.

[gamez]

I should clarify, this toast I'm talking about is broiled in stove or toaster oven so the bottom is still bread like. You use decent globs of butter so you have these little fucking pools of butter when you're done, which turn dark brown with the cinnamon sugar. If you have to buy cinnamon sugar premade something is fucking wrong with you.

That's how I reheat french toast if somebody makes too much before I wake up lol, broiling it in the oven after it's already been fried/cooked, it makes it really crisp and yeah, it has that pool of cinnamon butter that melts together awesome with the syrup.

Another thing that's good, speaking of Elephant Ears and Cinnamon sugar is pan frying these with a shitload of oil(it's a pretty basic batter, you might be able to use pancake batter actually but you should look that up), then you just brush it with melted butter and shake on the cinnasugar, nutella, apple or strawberry syrup like you would a Crepe.

[Maguspk]

Mediterranean food is godly delicious. Just yesterday I was reminded of this fact over some Tabouli Salad and a Chicken Shawarma. Anything mediterranean is going to be fucking amazing though.

Also, I suggest baked potatoes, they are easy to make and delicious.

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Coat potato in canola oil and a little salt and poke about 12 holes in it with a fork
3. Place directly onto oven rack (two-thirds up)
4. Wait an hour
5. Poke holes across the length of the spud and push ends together to open, enjoy.

[Kiarax]

My toast usually just consists of: cook in toaster, butter & marmite, eat. If I want to be fancier I just make egg in a basket with bacon or sausage on the side. I have never even heard of cinnamon sugar so I shall have to make/find some and try it sometime.

[Shiroikage]

I need to roast some corn. There is way fancier that that I've done/will done/might do, but goddamn it I want some fucking roast corn.

[Kiarax]

I guess baked potatoes aren't common in America. But oh God, Jacket/Baked Potato is fucking amazing if you have melted cheese on it. I've always made it in the microwave though, not the oven, I can't wait that long for my food since I usually just make food for myself on a whim. I always just slice it down the middle too, so you have 2 flat surfaces for it. Grill some cheese on there and add some baked beans if you fancy = so good.

[Shiroikage]

I guess baked potatoes aren't common in America. But oh God, Jacket/Baked Potato is fucking amazing if you have melted cheese on it. I've always made it in the microwave though, not the oven, I can't wait that long for my food since I usually just make food for myself on a whim. I always just slice it down the middle too, so you have 2 flat surfaces for it. Grill some cheese on there and add some baked beans if you fancy = so good.

Baked potatoes are basically the backbone of America.

[gamez]

Eggs in a basket is actually really really uncommon around here.
I've heard of it a fuck ton in Europe, but not that often coast to coast in Canada or the Northern US. It's simple enough to make though, I kind of want to try broiling the bread for a couple minutes first then frying it so that it crunches more on the bread.

Another thing that's actually really good if you drink Cappuchino is spooning english toffee or irish cream foam onto your french toast/cinnamon apple oatmeal, or pancakes.

(Or if you're Canadian, dip your apple fritter into the foam in your Timmy's English Toffee, it's fking awesome)

[Kiarax]

Baked potatoes are basically the backbone of America.

Well atleast they do something right.

[gamez]

Baked potatoes are basically the backbone of America.

Yuh, they're pretty much the same in the microwave and on the barbeque or oven. Fork poke holes into them instead of wrapping them up if you microwave them actually.

Don't split them right open until you're done, then just dice them into 8 and press down like you're making peanut butter cookies with the fork prongs on the quartered pieces. They'll be fluffier and less undercooked inside with all the moisture sealed in, green onions or chives with the melted cheese/topped with sour cream is really good.

Anyways, instead of kind of crappy advise dolling out constantly. Some good ass advise when cooking anything at all, meat, potatoes, eggs, frying pan or oven is don't check on it every 5 minutes and poke/prod it like people nervous about burning things tend to do, it actually effects the texture/burning/cooking alot by doing this, especially bigger meals like dinners, or omelettes.

[Kiarax]

Advice.