Life

Celeste · 2009-07-04 04:14

I'm really depressed right now. I'm not sure if it's the cocktail of vicodin, tramadol, and robaxin that's making me feel this way, but I really want to kill myself. This is not a joke.

The only one of my friends offline still in my area has no time for me. His dad died in May, and his family helped me out in high school when mine was being abusive. I stayed with them for months, so his death hit me hard too. I want to be apart of his life, but he's not doing anything with his friends right now. And I really need one.

I tried killing myself in June. Overdosed on Tramadol/Trazodone and I ended up in the ICU for 10 hours. I fucked up that attempt so badly, and now my family is keeping an eye on me, and I don't want them to at all. I just want to die. My sister hates my guts, she's actually told me that she was happy when she found out I tried killing myself.

I have no drive anymore. No girlfriend, and I can't even will myself to log onto my current MMORPG, or any game for that matter to get my mind off this shit. In fact, I'm sorry I was such a dipshit to you all. I'm not in my right mind, and I don't think I'm going to be for awhile.

**Shojin** · 2009-07-04 04:19

Not bitin'

**Ivve** · 2009-07-04 04:22

fuckin christ

**Kiarax** · 2009-07-04 04:36

Lol.

**Falisa** · 2009-07-04 04:36

Hi Krye

Celeste · 2009-07-04 05:03

Is everything just a joke to you people? You talk about trolling, but all in all, you're just having conversations with each other. I see what you're doing, but why? You all act as if you were retarded teenagers with superiority complexes.

And, the people you put yourselves above really aren't much better, but what's the point? I used to troll back when 4chan was young. I can't even tell you how many people I've had banned from SomethingAwful.com either, but I stopped doing it a year or two back, do you really think your behavior is acceptable?

Celeste · 2009-07-04 05:08

With all honesty, I'm not looking to get into that again. I've grown up, so it's perplexing when I see people doing the same thing I did as a teenager. Why not stop being so venomous? What you do isn't worth it.

**Shojin** · 2009-07-04 05:13

lol

**Kiarax** · 2009-07-04 05:47

Why not stop being a bane on society and off yourself already? You're a worthless cunt and you always will be, do yourself and the world a favour and get on with it. Think of all the money your parents are wasting on their sorry ass daughter who won't and can't do a damn thing with her life and how much better they'd be without you.

**Kiarax** · 2009-07-04 05:48

Not a personal attack btw.

**drwaffles** · 2009-07-04 05:50

The fuck is this shit? Must be really fucking easy to get people banned from SA.

**Cairthenn** · 2009-07-04 05:52

And where did you go.

Celeste · 2009-07-04 06:27

Originally Posted by drwaffles

The fuck is this shit? Must be really fucking easy to get people banned from SA.

It really is. Like, there was this guy who had a ton of loli avatars and crap, the game they were from had no characters over the age of 12. I posted all that shit, and he got banned for that. it was sweet.

My parents aren't wasting their money on me. I gave them a ton of my monthly earnings back before my store closed in January. I'm just having a hard time dealing with things right now. I'm being overwhelmed.

And really, I find it amusing you would say those things to me. You wouldn't have the nerve to say it offline. Do you think you're funny/cool for saying it on BG? Regardless, you're pitiful. Show some compassion instead of swinging your e-penis around.

**Genosync** · 2009-07-04 06:36

Originally Posted by Mistress

You wouldn't have the nerve to say it offline.

http://www.bluegartr.com/forum/custo...tar29028_3.gif
here we go again

**Charismatic** · 2009-07-04 06:41

"No girlfriend"?

Are you homo or male?

**Cairthenn** · 2009-07-04 06:42

I definitely wouldn't have the nerve to say any of that offline, myself. He might end up thinking I'm too funny/cool and with all the talk about swinging penises around I'm just not sure it'd go how I wanted it to.

Celeste · 2009-07-04 07:36

Originally Posted by Genosync

http://www.bluegartr.com/forum/custo...tar29028_3.gif
here we go again

Did I say he wouldn't have the nerve to say it to me? I said it in general. None of you would have the nerve to. Quit acting like such bitches here because you have a veil of anonymity. Pretend that you would be capable of saying such things if you must, but you know you're lying to yourself.

**Cairthenn** · 2009-07-04 07:52

Originally Posted by Mistress

I said it in general.

General Discussion - Order of the Blue Gartr

**Elites** · 2009-07-04 08:03

My advice to you is, stop being so emotional over stupid shit and start socializing with others. Find a girl, they're not all hiding.

**Ivve** · 2009-07-04 09:39

for all the "growing up" you've done, you seriously feel entitled to compassion or respect from any other human being on earth? you need to wake the fuck up babycakes; it's not just BG forums where nobody gives a shit about you except you. on top of that, there are not a lot of people out there interested in the excuses you make for your actions.

you also need to learn some lessons about appropriate behavior. the spam forum of BG is an inappropriate place to seek help and you know this. if you want help with suicidal thoughts or depression, you need to google it or otherwise locate people (trained professionals) who can help.

tl;dr: grow up. honey. you're not entitled to anything from anyone, so drop that lower middle class white girl priveleged attitude and see a mental health professional.

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