Sexual Advice: Teaching girlfriend...

[Sojourn]

If she gets upset enough to cry sometime during the act of trying to please you, before or after she destroys your dick in a bad way, you should rub your hands all over her face and use her tears to jerk yourself off. Tape her eyelids back and make her watch every stroke so she'll know what to do next time.

[aalryn]

Be positive about it. When I first got with my gf she was very inexperienced. She was TERRIBLE. I didn't want her to give up and not keep trying for obvious reasons, so when she would do something right, I'd tell her how much I liked it (over embellishing of course).

It took some time, but now she is absolutely amazing at it. Not only that, but because I was positive about it the entire way through and didn't put her down and never said anything was bad, just let her know what was really good; she wants to do it all the time... I'm serious every single freaking day she begs to give me head now.

[Olo401]

It's your fault OP - you need to shave your shit so she's not pullin' hairs along with your junk.

[archibaldcrane]

1) Are you using lube?

2) Are you demonstrating yourself how to jerk you off?

Answer these questions and then we might be able to begin to diagnose this shit.

[BerenTebogo]

All I'm getting out of this thread is that the OPs GF is an overweight 13 year old who thinks his dick is a twinkie and for some reason the OP thinks it entirely important that we all know she's got a Hostess craving.

Carry on. General died a long time ago =>

[Warudo Ecksu]

porn taught me how to give bjs. get her a video to study

[aduidarnenye]

You guys do realise that women don't have penises and therefore are unable to practice before attempting the real thing?

If you've watched a video on skiiing you might be able to get down a hill without killing yourself, but you're not going to be that great and you might twist an ankle. You need practice and perhaps a lesson or two first. Watching porn to learn how to do blowjobs is the same.

Also, remember that mouths are not vaginas. One's jaw can get quite sore after a while. And women haven't built up the same wrist stamina that most guys did over their teenage years watching said porn. Women really don't get it why a man will orgasm after a few minutes of thrusting but requires like 30 minutes of bj/hj work. It's bloody tiring!

[Warudo Ecksu]

skiing and blowies are totally different. blowies are extremely easy and i really can't imagine how a girl could keep screwing up and hurting her bf. once you know what hurts u just simply dont do that again.

[guartz]

cancer, etc

[oldoldman]

I had to check to make sure I wasn't in spam.

I'm still not sure.

[510Meeze]

Quit being a dick and fake it. Tell her you wanked one an hour before and that's why it's so hard for you to cum. Just be like 'HOLY FUCK THAT WAS NICE "

worst answer ever.

[Day]

hooooooo weeeee at the trolled in this thread

[Krye]

Tell her not to bother with handjobs because you can do it better yourself and tell her blowjobs are hands free

Personally though, I don't see any reason to make her work for it, just have her open her mouth and thrust away, shit feels much better that way.

[Milkster]

Or just have her tongue the head if worse gets to worse and she can never get it down. Could just have her practice on a Bomb Pop.

[krazylakshmi]

RedTube - Free Porn Video - Heather swallows! have her watch those.. but yea next time u go to bust hit the eyes or jus try nostril sex like me and my bby sinder use to

[zoobernut]

like me and my bby sinder use to

Not sure if you are saying baby sister or babysitter here but in either case..... creepy.

[Ketsaiga]

[krazylakshmi]

bby 100% ! baby~ or try Bananas and if ti breaks slap her with it u could always have her feel how u feel put 2-3 fingers up her and go 50 degree angle it will hurt bad D:

[Ivve]

You guys do realise that women don't have penises and therefore are unable to practice before attempting the real thing?

If you've watched a video on skiiing you might be able to get down a hill without killing yourself, but you're not going to be that great and you might twist an ankle. You need practice and perhaps a lesson or two first. Watching porn to learn how to do blowjobs is the same.

Also, remember that mouths are not vaginas. One's jaw can get quite sore after a while. And women haven't built up the same wrist stamina that most guys did over their teenage years watching said porn. Women really don't get it why a man will orgasm after a few minutes of thrusting but requires like 30 minutes of bj/hj work. It's bloody tiring!

Woman here, calling bullshit. I guess I'm the only bitch on BG capable of real talk, but if your arm/wrist is getting tired then you change hands or pop that dick in your mouth and give yourself a break. I would think that's self explanatory but I guess there are people in the world who need warning labels not to drag their electronics in the shower with them, so maybe I'm overestimating the intelligence of women when I take it for granted that they will realize they have two hands.

Additionally, if you don't have the arm or wrist strength to keep up a decent pace for a few minutes then you must be massively out of shape or something. Men don't need you to jerk them off like you're trying to start a fire with sticks, Jesus fuck. What the fuck are you doing that's tiring your arms out so much you can't hold onto a dick for 15-20 minutes? It doesn't take that fucking long to make someone orgasm if that's the goal (rather than foreplay, teasing, etc).

As for being unable to practice, that doesn't really matter. If you have any common sense and/or have seen any porn in your lifetime, you have a general idea of how to conduct a handjob/blowjob. You might not be mind-blowingly amazing at doing so on the first try; there are a lot of things that are not adequately communicated (such as "bring lube" for longer events), but you shouldn't be so fucking awful that you are hurting someone. If you have genitals yourself then you should understand the basic principles of lubrication and what constitutes a painful touch. The clit has a lot of parallels, use some goddamned common sense.

Dicks are infinitely more straightforward than vaginas; there is no excuse. Dude's GF is just not into it and probably hurting him on purpose so she doesn't get asked anymore. Willing to bet a year's salary on it, although she'd never fucking tell that to him if he asked. Don't tolerate dumbass excuses from women apologists; if men can be ridiculed for being unable to operate a vagina (which is pretty fucking difficult) then women deserve the same for being too stupid to successfully manipulate a dick. Real talk.

[archibaldcrane]

It doesn't take that fucking long to make someone orgasm if that's the goal (rather than foreplay, teasing, etc).

Eh, depends on the guy sometimes. Agree with the rest of the shit you said though.