Sexual Advice: Teaching girlfriend...

[Ivve]

Unless they're anorgasmic or on drugs (cocaine is a hell of a drug), I really can't imagine anyone taking more than 20 minutes, 30 on the very highest end of the spectrum, of stimulation with hands/mouth to orgasm. At least, not if it's being done right.

[SamanosukeShiva]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hm7pp_JFOs

isn't she the new receptionist at the office??!?

[aduidarnenye]

Woman here, calling bullshit. I guess I'm the only bitch on BG capable of real talk, but if your arm/wrist is getting tired then you change hands or pop that dick in your mouth and give yourself a break. I would think that's self explanatory but I guess there are people in the world who need warning labels not to drag their electronics in the shower with them, so maybe I'm overestimating the intelligence of women when I take it for granted that they will realize they have two hands.

Additionally, if you don't have the arm or wrist strength to keep up a decent pace for a few minutes then you must be massively out of shape or something. Men don't need you to jerk them off like you're trying to start a fire with sticks, Jesus fuck. What the fuck are you doing that's tiring your arms out so much you can't hold onto a dick for 15-20 minutes? It doesn't take that fucking long to make someone orgasm if that's the goal (rather than foreplay, teasing, etc).

As for being unable to practice, that doesn't really matter. If you have any common sense and/or have seen any porn in your lifetime, you have a general idea of how to conduct a handjob/blowjob. You might not be mind-blowingly amazing at doing so on the first try; there are a lot of things that are not adequately communicated (such as "bring lube" for longer events), but you shouldn't be so fucking awful that you are hurting someone. If you have genitals yourself then you should understand the basic principles of lubrication and what constitutes a painful touch. The clit has a lot of parallels, use some goddamned common sense.

Dicks are infinitely more straightforward than vaginas; there is no excuse. Dude's GF is just not into it and probably hurting him on purpose so she doesn't get asked anymore. Willing to bet a year's salary on it, although she'd never fucking tell that to him if he asked. Don't tolerate dumbass excuses from women apologists; if men can be ridiculed for being unable to operate a vagina (which is pretty fucking difficult) then women deserve the same for being too stupid to successfully manipulate a dick. Real talk.

You're taking a fairly tongue-in-cheek post and gathering a lot of anger about there, hon!

I was rather trying to point out that the average 18-19 year old girl, who's never given a blow job or hand job before, might be a tad bit uncomfortable and unskilled in this particular activity. Watching porn is a great idea, but most porn blow jobs are cut down to a few minutes, giving young innocent and hopeful blowjob artists a false impression of the general timing of said event. A young nubile woman might believe that men will come fairly quickly, after all men always seem to want blowjobs and therefore one must believe that they come easily. But then, sadly, all those innocent, untrained young women have reality fall brutally on their bobbing heads when they realise that real guys either don't come as easily as the ones in the porns (they forget about editting) or that guys like to drag these matters out indefinitely.

I very much appreciate all of your suggestions and do believe they are good advice, if a tad bit angry.

[izembo]

average 18-19 girl who has never given a hand/blow job? are you that naive?

[Beckwin]

ivve has become the female equivalent of all the bang-for-3-hours-straight e-studs on BG.

[aduidarnenye]

average 18-19 girl who has never given a hand/blow job? are you that naive?

Amongst the ones who have not as of yet, as per example provided by OP.

[izembo]

protip: they're lying

[aduidarnenye]

While I do agree it does seem more prevalent now than when I was in high school, I also remember it being a few of the girls screwing around with most of the guys. I think media attention also helps make it seem like a lot more. I can't turn on a talk show these days without learning all about the dangers of sexting.

[Serif]

Should of went here and asked for live advice!

http://www.bluegartr.com/forum/78380...ol-nsfw-2.html

[Ivve]

You're taking a fairly tongue-in-cheek post and gathering a lot of anger about there, hon!

I was rather trying to point out that the average 18-19 year old girl, who's never given a blow job or hand job before, might be a tad bit uncomfortable and unskilled in this particular activity. Watching porn is a great idea, but most porn blow jobs are cut down to a few minutes, giving young innocent and hopeful blowjob artists a false impression of the general timing of said event. A young nubile woman might believe that men will come fairly quickly, after all men always seem to want blowjobs and therefore one must believe that they come easily. But then, sadly, all those innocent, untrained young women have reality fall brutally on their bobbing heads when they realise that real guys either don't come as easily as the ones in the porns (they forget about editting) or that guys like to drag these matters out indefinitely.

I very much appreciate all of your suggestions and do believe they are good advice, if a tad bit angry.

Wow, this is the most polite youmad I've ever heard. Protip: I'm not angry; I just have a foul mouth and a blown mind. I really fail to see how any of it was "tongue-in-cheek," but whatever you say man. I was rather trying to point out that if the average chick can't figure this out well enough not to be actually causing pain, they should probably turn in their vagina and check into a convent because they're terrible human beings. Just saying. Don't need to be (and won't be) an instapro, but the tiniest amount of porn and common sense should be enough schooling to make you into... I don't know, at least not a dickmangler, sweet fucking Christ.

From the sound of it his chick has put the hurt on this dude's dick multiple times -- how can one even be that stupid? Dicks are pretty much as straightforward as you're going to get; I can't believe there are people out there so retarded they can fuck it up over and over. Honestly, what the fuck. The only comfort is that if she's too dumb to work a penis there's a good chance she won't spawn more dumbasses. God it's like not understanding how to operate slip-on shoes.

P.S. I like your unnecessary and semi-awkward modifiers.

@Becks, nice trollinz. Apparently changing hands is complicated and studly, so I think after I finish this I'm going to go market my skills to the public. Clearly I have advanced beyond normal human capacity! You can help me come up with my superhero name.

[Boyiee]

This thread reminds me of a couple of months ago. New gf shes never done much if anything before, but lets me do whatever I want which is fun.

So we tried 69 and something fucking caught me, I don't know what it was, but it was one of the worst pains I've ever felt. She said she thinks she knows what happened lol, and convinces me after a couple minutes to try again... 10 seconds later the exact same thing happens. It was an incredible experience. I can't remember if it bled or not.

Practice makes perfect, she'll figure out what works for you since everyone is different. I've been given BJ's for 30-45minutes before telling girls to stop, and I've had girls that can get it done in 5. I honestly don't like BJ's all that much, sure I guess they get you started but it's still extremely difficult for me to cum that way. Unless it's sex i'm most likely not going to cum 9/10 times.

[Siniroth]

Ivve, I love you, for every single thing you've said in this thread, bravo!

[archibaldcrane]

Unless they're anorgasmic or on drugs (cocaine is a hell of a drug), I really can't imagine anyone taking more than 20 minutes, 30 on the very highest end of the spectrum, of stimulation with hands/mouth to orgasm. At least, not if it's being done right.

Just remember it's not always simply a physical formula to orgasm. If my mind's not right, I don't care if it's Heather Brooke blowing me, shit's not going to happen. It's hard to lose control mentally enough to even have a chance to orgasm with a girl blowing me.

But you're probably right for most people.

[Charismatic]

She thinks I'm crazy for saying blowjobs just don't do it for me... but they really don't.

[Siniroth]

Just remember it's not always simply a physical formula to orgasm. If my mind's not right, I don't care if it's Heather Brooke blowing me, shit's not going to happen. It's hard to lose control mentally enough to even have a chance to orgasm with a girl blowing me.

But you're probably right for most people.

I think if she was blowing me I don't think it'd matter what state of mind I'm in, that shit'll get me off

[Serif]

I said I love having sex
But I rather get some head
But I rather get some head
But I rather get some head

Sex is nice and all but I rather get my dick sucked, true story brah

[Ivve]

Just remember it's not always simply a physical formula to orgasm. If my mind's not right, I don't care if it's Heather Brooke blowing me, shit's not going to happen. It's hard to lose control mentally enough to even have a chance to orgasm with a girl blowing me.

But you're probably right for most people.

Well yeah, but if it's being done right then it's also at a time when you're feeling it, you know? I think that's pretty much a universal truth; if you're not into what's going on at the time for whatever reason, nothing may do it for you no matter how well it's done.

And Chari, you said you'd never had a chick really try to give you a good blowjob, which is why I make fun of you and say your opinion generally isn't valid concerning blowjobs. It's like going to a Uwe Boll movie and then saying movies aren't your thing. No bb, probably just shitty movies aren't your thing.

[Shenrien]

porn.. its like your basic manual for having sex, go watch it and learn.

[Charismatic]

And Chari, you said you'd never had a chick really try to give you a good blowjob, which is why I make fun of you and say your opinion generally isn't valid concerning blowjobs. It's like going to a Uwe Boll movie and then saying movies aren't your thing. No bb, probably just shitty movies aren't your thing.

I don't think that's what I said... I'm pretty sure I didn't say that.
If I did, I'm not sure why I would have.

[archibaldcrane]

Well yeah, but if it's being done right then it's also at a time when you're feeling it, you know? I think that's pretty much a universal truth; if you're not into what's going on at the time for whatever reason, nothing may do it for you no matter how well it's done.

Problem is, when I'm turned on, I want to be in control, it's how I'm wired. Being in control all the time is anti-orgasm for me - I feel least in control when someone else makes me come. A great sloppy enthusiastically given blowjob makes me feel wonderfully powerful over the person giving it, but that rush of power and control pushes me further from being able to come, not closer.

When getting a blowjob, I have to submit to orgasm, and submitting isn't my strong suit. I hope that makes sense. It has nothing to do with "being in the mood" in the way you're thinking.