Allakhazam

[Mugekuge]

Hi. I'm a poster at allakhazam. I think I'm special so I'm going to write a guide on something so basic that you'd have to be mentally retarded not to know how to do it.

Hey guys, this is how you do the perfect bard rotation! You better memorise those macros *^_^*
Allakhazam.com: Final Fantasy XI

Finally able to force-proc my ring ^-^
http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b3.../Brdlatent.png
First is HP down, 2nd Idle, 3rd FastCast (start of every song).
The Genbu/Seiryu is to push HP up because I can't seem to sit in my idle set in yellow hp ; ; Have about 60ish HP to regen back befor white HP.

^ Says the pimp brd.

[Yugl]

Hi. I'm a poster at allakhazam. I think I'm special so I'm going to write a guide on something so basic that you'd have to be mentally retarded not to know how to do it.

Hey guys, this is how you do the perfect bard rotation! You better memorise those macros *^_^*
Allakhazam.com: Final Fantasy XI

I made a guide for my Einherjar's LS's BRD Rotation macros since it helps the leaders understand what they're doing and how it works. I guess I'm lolnoob too.

Oh and lolDRG guide is missing key pieces. Hint: Cuchulain Mantle.

While we're at it, lets talk about the fact that you typo "Befor" on a forum and expect people to perfectly type /pcmd add or leave during Einherjar. It was fun to have you here, but now I think it's time you go back to Alla.

Note: BRD Rotation guide > LolcangetoutdatedlikeabradyguidehowtoDRG

[Fridell]

7 pages of information about why Alla sucks (mostly, MNK forums have some ok posters) and that 95% of the people there are retarded.

[Cadsuane]

Hi. I'm a poster at allakhazam. I think I'm special so I'm going to write a guide on something so basic that you'd have to be mentally retarded not to know how to do it.

Hey guys, this is how you do the perfect bard rotation! You better memorise those macros *^_^*
Allakhazam.com: Final Fantasy XI

It's funny how this applies more to the guides you've written yourself than the one that's linked here.

[rog]

75% of the people there are retarded.

ftfy

[Fridell]

You Rog, is included in the 5% of the non retards over at Alla.

[rog]

I'm still going to have to insist that more than 5% of the posters on alla aren't retarded.

[Brill Weave]

I will most likely take some heat from the regulars here. But I believe I have a bit of insight that I can impart as to why Allakhazam is widely regarded as a cesspool. I am a Sage, I have over 11,000 posts if I'm not mistaken. I even have my own handy custom title. I spent most of my time on the Cait Sith server forums, The Asylum, and the Game forums.

That being said, I can honestly say that the vast majority of Allakhazam posters are complete idiots. The "endgame" forum is filled with garbage along the lines of how to gear up for a manaburn. The job forums are ridiculously bad. There are a handful of posters there that actually have an idea of what they are talking about. The rest of them are still figuring out how to cap haste and why it's cool to merit dexterity for Paladin.

The "guides" and "strategies" that are posted are one of two things without fail. The first of which is a mishmash of guides combined together from other sites that are passed off as original thoughts. The second are guides that are vague and devoid of any strategy, or intelligence, which usually are rated down into oblivion.

Server forums are widely unused. There are a few boards where there will literally be months of inactivity. Cait Sith was usually fairly active. The only place on the entire site that actually has some intelligent posters and good threads/conversations is in the Asylum.

They hate pretty much everyone who plays FFXI. I think I was one of the few "mooglefuckers" that was treated like a normal person.

Bottom line. The site is devoid of intelligent, rational thought when it comes to informational dialogue. Most posters troll for rateups because they think that the pretty color next to their names means that they actually have something to say that carries more weight.

Long story short. Allakhazam is the Gamefaqs of the FFXI world. Go there for one or two things. Don't plan on getting anything more than that, ever.

[Mizango]

Long story short. Allakhazam is the Gamefaqs of the FFXI world. Go there for one or two things. Don't plan on getting anything more than that, ever.

Exactly the way everyone should think of it. Everyone here was on Alla at one time or another, well the people that were on FFXI from the beginning should I say and even then it was a horrible place for information. The Alla regulars act as if "we" or other sites like KI simply pick on them for no apparent reason, drop by the Pandemonium forums on Alla.

It's basically a spam fest between friends. Everything there is a lolwopa this or some Derf the Galka type thread. I mean, I know someone here will read this and go post what I said but it is what it is. I've done the Alla thing, got shitty advice and have been raped enough to never ever go back there for advice. Though, I do go there once every few months give or take to see "IM BACK!!" post from old friends and LS mates that have no clue that are more sites dedicated to the FF virus than just Alla.

Other than that you take what is said with a grain of salt. Everyone has their preferences and entitled to their own opinions but I mean, they paint BG as "stuck up elitists" as a whole, so I don't feel bad painting them as tards.

Also, Weave you're a legend on all boards combined so I don't really see what point you were trying to make really. Just sayin'.

[noodles355]

Pimp? No. Knows how to do my job? Yes. Unless you're still stupid enough to think that I'll be casting debuffs or buffs in those sets. Vit+15 give me 15 march tiers!!!
Or is there something stupid about forcing your ring proc so you're only in yellow HP when you cast the buffs, but remain in white when you idle? March is at 116/1024 anyway.


I'm not sure why the Drg equip list is missing Cuch mantle, but thanks for pointing that out, I'd assumed it was in and probably would have missed that completely when I next update it.

Befor, Before. I'm dyslexic. Who cares? Way to compare one word in a paragraph to one single phrase in one single phrase.

[Yugl]

You also have Colossal Lance/Imperial Neza/Zaide/Ares Feet as pieces to strive for, but not Aurum legs? Again, twisted guide.

Befor, Before. I'm dyslexic. Who cares? Way to compare one word in a paragraph to one single phrase in one single phrase.

The important part is that the paragraph is on a forum. Misspell like that in Einherjar (Likely to happen with that much lag) and you'll find yourself taking too much time for the BRD Rotations.

[Theytak]

Dear BG,

I realize that insulting idiots who post on alla can be incredibly entertaining. I'm also aware that the number of idiots on alla vastly outweighs the number of intelligent posters. However, I feel that there are some key things about alla that you, my friends, are missing.

Firstly, =10(FFXI General) is considered a laughing stock by most of us. It's generally filled with idiots who think alla is livejournal and white knights who defend said idiots, not because they agree with them, but because it's not right to be rude on the internet. That is why we, the intelligent posters, have divided ourselves into three groups. The first being the smaller group, who forcefully separate themselves from the bullshit and do nothing but post solid, helpful information. Tummie is a good example. The second group, the +1 posters, are those of us who, while possessing a good deal of knowledge pertaining to the inner workings of this game(most of us are very knowledgeable about the jobs we play), we decide not to help people in =10, because they're all retards. Instead, we entertain ourselves by posting inane and irrelevant things to annoy the idiots. lolgaxe is a shining example. The final group, are the asshats. They, like the first group, choose to post helpful information, but are also willing to interact with the idiotic masses, and come off as elitist and evil, despite actually knowing their shit, and being cool people. Hapernack could be counted as one of these posters.

However, please don't confuse the final of the three intelligent groups with one of the offshoots of the retards. That group of people tends to THINK they know everything about the game. They post things in a very similar style, but are generally functionally retarded and will get extremely defensive if you call them out on their idiocy.

There is something else you may or may not be aware of. We generally dislike our idiots just as much as you do, and if you read the forums regularly, you would know that it doesn't take long for an Asshat or a +1er to swing down and put idiots in their place.

Also, you guys are really no better than our idiots, in that you actually put value in the karma system. No one who possesses any semblance of intelligence actually gives a damn about their karma, though some of us +1ers will, on occasion, go overboard about it in a satirical manner(purely for laughs). I can't help but laugh at you guys whining about how "the forums suck because good ideas get rated down and bad ideas get rated up" since most of you are pretty damn well aware that people are just stupid. Ignore karma completely(set your filter to Never Filter, like the rest of us, and then the only posts that vanish are the ones that admins nuke).

Another thing. Alla now, and Alla 5 years ago are two very different places. Alla 5 years ago, I'll agree, was a load of horse shit who's value as a forum was probably about the same as wiki and KI are today. Yes, both of those forums are terrible. They breed idiots like genome, and that alone is enough to make them worthless.

Alla's pride and joy, in terms of forums, are the job forums. Not all of them, mind you, but a good portion of them. We all laugh at the smn and drk forums, and many of us enjoy the humor of the rdm forum. The bst forum is a circle-jerk that's worse than anything =10 has ever seen, so most of us(read; non-bsts) tend to avoid it, but the Thf, Mnk, War, Rng, Cor, and Pup forums(the ones I read regularly, I can't comment on the value of the other forums) are all home to intelligent posters who love their jobs and do everything they can to better them for the community as a whole, while making sure idiots are securely shut out and made known.

A good rule to follow; Ignore anyone who's post count is under 2-3k. This will weed out the vast majority of idiots who don't know shit, and white knights who don't understand their hypocrisy. There are idiots with very high post counts, mind you, but they're fairly obvious(the intelligent posters ridicule them on a consistent basis), and there are valued posters with under 2-3k, but they're generally stand out people like Tummie who you'd take notice of right off. I say 2-3k for a simple reason. Most idiots will give up long before they get to that point, and even fewer make it past 5k, so generally the people with higher post counts are the one's who have been around a good while and know their way around the game, or the really masochistic idiots who don't know when to give up even though everyone knows what they are.

The karma titles(scholar/sage/guru) really mean nothing, so you're better off just ignoring them. There's also the unwritten rule; "If you whine about karma, you're going to get rated down" which exists purely because it further antagonizes the whiner and provides more entertainment for us as we watch him scream and squirm. You guys ban idiots outright, and that's respectable. You don't want to deal, or be associated, with idiots(though you are, not all of your posters are as amazing or intelligent as they seem to think, and I know you're all aware of it). Our admins have a rule, They can't ban stupid, regardless of how much they want to, because they get payed to be admins and have to represent the company (ZAM). To combat this, we have developed a more lax approach. We play with our idiots, until they get so angry that they leave under their own power. Admins save face when they come in and yell at us for being mean and then lock the thread, we get some lulz at the idiot's expense, and people who can't take the heat leave and don't come back. It's not a perfect system, we can't catch them all, but it generally does it's job.

In short, You shouldn't judge a forum by it's idiots, but rather, by how the intelligent members deal with the idiots.

Sincerely, Professor Jinte of the +1 group.

[Brill Weave]

Jinte is good peoples. And lolgaxe is also good peoples.

[terranova]

Has little effect on the overall opinion of alla.

[Yugl]

I'll one line this post for people don't feel like reading it:

Dear BG,

I realize that insulting idiots who post on alla can be incredibly entertaining. I'm also aware that the number of idiots on alla vastly outweighs the number of intelligent posters. However, I feel that there are some key things about alla that you, my friends, are missing.

More idiots than "smart" people on Alla, but we're missing something here guys.

Firstly, =10(FFXI General) is considered a laughing stock by most of us. It's generally filled with idiots who think alla is livejournal and white knights who defend said idiots, not because they agree with them, but because it's not right to be rude on the internet. That is why we, the intelligent posters, have divided ourselves into three groups. The first being the smaller group, who forcefully separate themselves from the bullshit and do nothing but post solid, helpful information. Tummie is a good example. The second group, the +1 posters, are those of us who, while possessing a good deal of knowledge pertaining to the inner workings of this game(most of us are very knowledgeable about the jobs we play), we decide not to help people in =10, because they're all retards. Instead, we entertain ourselves by posting inane and irrelevant things to annoy the idiots. lolgaxe is a shining example. The final group, are the asshats. They, like the first group, choose to post helpful information, but are also willing to interact with the idiotic masses, and come off as elitist and evil, despite actually knowing their shit, and being cool people. Hapernack could be counted as one of these posters.

There are groups within the group of idiots.

However, please don't confuse the final of the three intelligent groups with one of the offshoots of the retards. That group of people tends to THINK they know everything about the game. They post things in a very similar style, but are generally functionally retarded and will get extremely defensive if you call them out on their idiocy.

This group is smarter than the other two groups. Trust them on that.

There is something else you may or may not be aware of. We generally dislike our idiots just as much as you do, and if you read the forums regularly, you would know that it doesn't take long for an Asshat or a +1er to swing down and put idiots in their place.

More ranting about how the other groups are idiots.

Also, you guys are really no better than our idiots, in that you actually put value in the karma system. No one who possesses any semblance of intelligence actually gives a damn about their karma, though some of us +1ers will, on occasion, go overboard about it in a satirical manner(purely for laughs). I can't help but laugh at you guys whining about how "the forums suck because good ideas get rated down and bad ideas get rated up" since most of you are pretty damn well aware that people are just stupid. Ignore karma completely(set your filter to Never Filter, like the rest of us, and then the only posts that vanish are the ones that admins nuke).

People on BG who feel the Karma system is stupid are also stupid themselves. Don't use the karma filter.

Another thing. Alla now, and Alla 5 years ago are two very different places. Alla 5 years ago, I'll agree, was a load of horse shit who's value as a forum was probably about the same as wiki and KI are today. Yes, both of those forums are terrible. They breed idiots like genome, and that alone is enough to make them worthless.

Alla is apparently better than Wiki and KI.

Alla's pride and joy, in terms of forums, are the job forums. Not all of them, mind you, but a good portion of them. We all laugh at the smn and drk forums, and many of us enjoy the humor of the rdm forum. The bst forum is a circle-jerk that's worse than anything =10 has ever seen, so most of us(read; non-bsts) tend to avoid it, but the Thf, Mnk, War, Rng, Cor, and Pup forums(the ones I read regularly, I can't comment on the value of the other forums) are all home to intelligent posters who love their jobs and do everything they can to better them for the community as a whole, while making sure idiots are securely shut out and made known.

Their class forums are very important. It's like friendship people.

A good rule to follow; Ignore anyone who's post count is under 2-3k. This will weed out the vast majority of idiots who don't know shit, and white knights who don't understand their hypocrisy. There are idiots with very high post counts, mind you, but they're fairly obvious(the intelligent posters ridicule them on a consistent basis), and there are valued posters with under 2-3k, but they're generally stand out people like Tummie who you'd take notice of right off. I say 2-3k for a simple reason. Most idiots will give up long before they get to that point, and even fewer make it past 5k, so generally the people with higher post counts are the one's who have been around a good while and know their way around the game, or the really masochistic idiots who don't know when to give up even though everyone knows what they are.

Post count matters on Alla.

The karma titles(scholar/sage/guru) really mean nothing, so you're better off just ignoring them. There's also the unwritten rule; "If you whine about karma, you're going to get rated down" which exists purely because it further antagonizes the whiner and provides more entertainment for us as we watch him scream and squirm. You guys ban idiots outright, and that's respectable. You don't want to deal, or be associated, with idiots(though you are, not all of your posters are as amazing or intelligent as they seem to think, and I know you're all aware of it). Our admins have a rule, They can't ban stupid, regardless of how much they want to, because they get payed to be admins and have to represent the company (ZAM). To combat this, we have developed a more lax approach. We play with our idiots, until they get so angry that they leave under their own power. Admins save face when they come in and yell at us for being mean and then lock the thread, we get some lulz at the idiot's expense, and people who can't take the heat leave and don't come back. It's not a perfect system, we can't catch them all, but it generally does it's job.

Despite what was said earlier, the Karma system does have value, and is in fact, an excuse for mods to not be mods.

In short, You shouldn't judge a forum by it's idiots, but rather, by how the intelligent members deal with the idiots.

Don't judge Alla by it's idiots, but rather by how it handles its idiots. Apparently, that's through the Karma system.

Sincerely, Professor Jinte of the +1 group.

Remember the clan name guys!

[Theytak]

exactly! <3

Edit:

Ok, to clarify, I've gotten into a bad habit of leaving a few logical fallacies and hypocritical statements in my long-winded posts to ensure that I can spark debates with anyone who has enough knowledge on a subject to notice said fallacies and statements.

In this post, it was more accidental(as I said, habit) so I do apologize for that. The reasons that they stand out though, tend to show in any quick summary of any community. There is a lot more too Alla's forum-style than can be explained in a single post. I could go into the ins and outs of the various sub-cultures within the forums of alla, and make everything I said totally clear, but I am far to lazy to bother, and I doubt any of you would really care, let alone have it change your opinion of the site. I mostly posted the above out of boredom and interest in seeing how you, as a forum, would react to a post of it's nature.

I'm quite sure that a mature, spirited debate between our forums' more eloquent and informed posters would be quite a sight to behold, and I would love to participate in such an event.

I would be happy to clarify some misconceptions about our forums, should you request it, however I cannot promise to know everything about every forum on alla, as I don't frequent them all.

[Hapernack]

I also would like to point out that most of the knowledgeable posters on alla at least have an account on BG and check regularly even if they don't post a ton here. Theytak is one of the sources I can usually count on to come back me up when the "white-knight" posters start the nerd-rage rampages.

Not that I really am affected, but its nice to know that I'm not the only one that has my opinions over there.

[Almalexia]

ITT we vainly try to erase the shame of posting on Alla.

I want BG to accept me so bad. ; ;

[Cadsuane]

I'll catch this one.

exactly! <3

Edit:

Ok, to clarify, I've gotten into a bad habit of leaving a few logical fallacies and hypocritical statements in my long-winded posts to ensure that I can spark debates with anyone who has enough knowledge on a subject to notice said fallacies and statements.

Yeah, that post I just made wasn't very consistent. I do that on purpose of course, ftl presumably.

In this post, it was more accidental(as I said, habit) so I do apologize for that. The reasons that they stand out though, tend to show in any quick summary of any community. There is a lot more too Alla's forum-style than can be explained in a single post. I could go into the ins and outs of the various sub-cultures within the forums of alla, and make everything I said totally clear, but I am far to lazy to bother, and I doubt any of you would really care, let alone have it change your opinion of the site. I mostly posted the above out of boredom and interest in seeing how you, as a forum, would react to a post of it's nature.

I was just testing you that time. But it was accidental too somehow.

I'm quite sure that a mature, spirited debate between our forums' more eloquent and informed posters would be quite a sight to behold, and I would love to participate in such an event.

I would be happy to clarify some misconceptions about our forums, should you request it, however I cannot promise to know everything about every forum on alla, as I don't frequent them all.

Certain alla subcultures (the ones which I belong to of course, factor prominently in these) are worth your attention as a fellow community of intellectual elite.

[Theytak]

So glad you guys have people that can translate for me, makes my job easier