So, uh, babies

[Ivve]

Keeping it brief: I'm begrudgingly going to an unfortunate baby shower on Sunday and I'm expected to bring a gift. I know nothing about babies and even less about the tools you need to keep them alive while still maintaining some shred of convenience left in your ruined post-birth life. I need some gift recommendations.

1. My budget is about $250. Less is fine, but she's a stupid pregnant teenager who only has stupid teenage mother friends, so the chances that I will be the only one bringing an expensive gift are greater than 75%.

2. This is for a mother with no car, no source of income, and no partner to help raise the baby. I'm trying to purchase something she won't be able to get for herself or won't think of on her own.

3. She's a conspiracy theorist hippie with typical alarmist instincts (e.g. she believes everything she reads about every little thing that can potentially go wrong and is convinced it will all happen -- she wouldn't even eat fucking peanut butter at my house even though the jar I had was bought long before the recall and I think that shit's over now.), so she's insisting on the most organic and/or sanitary bullshit available to babies. Not that anyone in her position has the right to be choosy and her audacity actually offends me, but I don't want to buy her something she just won't use.

I asked my mom but she hasn't handled any babies in like 20 years so she's not really up to date on newer items and information that's come out re: shit that once was thought to be good but actually fucks kids up.

P.S. It's too late to butter the stairs, do a barrel roll, or falcon punch.

[Swatt]

vibrator to keep her busy so she doesn't become a baby factory

[Klaatu]

2. This is for a mother with no car, no source of income, and no partner to help raise the baby. I'm trying to purchase something she won't be able to get for herself or won't think of on her own.

Welfare application. Save your 250$. I have a feeling this is where she'll end up.\

P.S. On second thought. Vibrator is a good idea.

[Mayareira]

If she is that desperate, you can simply ask her what she needs.

There is no shame in that.

[Vandalhart]

I'd vote Diaper Genie, Diapers, I'm sure they have some sort basket with baby bath supplies in it.

Clothes could be a possibility also, but babies tend to grow out of them really quickly.

[Vandalhart]

If she pulls the Diaper's aren't good for the environment bullshit, get her some fabric diapers.. but somethign tells me she'll switch to diapers after she has to scrape disgusting baby shit out of a cotton diaper and wash it.

Sorry for the double post.

[Ivve]

She's a teenager so she can't apply for welfare on her own. Suffice to say the circumstances surrounding her guardianship are complicated.

I'm not giving her a goddamned thing for herself; I want anything I purchase to be for the safety/well-being of the baby because he didn't have any kind of choice in this dumbfuckery. Not bringing a gift is not an option. There must be something giftwrapped and in my hands when I ring the doorbell on Sunday.

[Ivve]

If she pulls the Diaper's aren't good for the environment bullshit, get her some fabric diapers.. but somethign tells me she'll switch to diapers after she has to scrape disgusting baby shit out of a cotton diaper and wash it.

Sorry for the double post.

Haha yeah, she's convinced she'll be doing the cloth diaper thing and honestly in the end she may have to because it's the only thing she can afford. Regardless, I'm looking for items that have a higher price tag that her friends might not be able to pick up. Diaper genie is an excellent suggestion and was my first though, but her cloth diaper BS really threw a wrench in that. If she gets one, it'll come later and that is what she'll get for her birthday. She won't be getting another luxury item for herself out of me ever. Also sorry for the double post.

P.S. I asked her what she needs and checked out her gift registry but she literally knows nothing at all except bottles, clothes, and diapers. That's it. I'm pretty sure kids need a whole host of shit you never even dream of them needing until you don't have it. I cannot even communicate to you all how unprepared she is for this.

[Vandalhart]

How about baby formula/baby food. $250 seems like it could buy a lot of of the things I mentioned.. perhaps I have no idea on what stuff costs though.

Could see what there is available at a few places to see if they have a baby basket of goodies or something.

[Aerin]

http://www.momlogic.com/images/poopy...5771355-13.jpg

[Karshe]

With an 11 month old, here's my advice...

Toys: Easy gifts to find and buy, but they aren't all that great to receive for the mother in terms of helpfulness.

Clothes: Can be hit or miss and there's a good chance it will be worn 0-1 times.

Formula: Our son was only breast fed for 4-5 months and was supplemented with formula along the way, so while we loved receiving formula as a gift, it's not for everyone. This gift takes a little bit of research.

My two recommendations would be...

"Bouncy chair" or other baby capturing devices. These are extremely helpful, and if she happens to receive too many or doesn't like the design, they're easy to return. They can get a bit pricey, but sounds like you're willing to spend more than the average joe.

Diapers and baby wipes. A lot of them. A&D Ointment is also helpful (might have missed it in OP but if it's a baby boy, a lot of this is helpful for a fresh circumcision) and lots of Desitin is never a bad thing either.

Diapers and baby wipes are my #1 recommendation to any friend who asks. Lots and lots and lots of them. And if you think you've bought enough, buy more. The only hang up can be if the mother is planning on using cloth diapers, but otherwise, you simply cannot go wrong with this gift.

EDIT: In regards to the cloth diaper discussion.. we tried it and it lasted less than two weeks. It is SO MUCH WORK and not for everyone. I'd say some diapers are still a safe gift, among the other things I listed.

[Vandalhart]

So it's probably safe to say she's going to breastfeed because "it's better for the baby" right?

[Devia]

baby buggy / stroller

[Ivve]

So it's probably safe to say she's going to breastfeed because "it's better for the baby" right?

Correct.

[Ksandra]

How about baby formula/baby food. $250 seems like it could buy a lot of of the things I mentioned.. perhaps I have no idea on what stuff costs though.

Could see what there is available at a few places to see if they have a baby basket of goodies or something.

this is probably your best bet. Don't bother with clothes tbh, even though she's poor as fuck 99% of gifts prego women get are clothes.

She will need the baby formula though, and that'll be something that's really for the baby vs. for the mom.

oh ya if you wanna get them something clothes related that she might not think of:

Amazon.com: The First Years No-Scratch Baby Mitts - two pair: Baby

you're supposed to put the mitts on the baby while they're sleeping so they don't scratch their face.

baby monitor might also be good if you think she isn't going to get one.

might also be good:

Amazon.com: The First Years Quick Serve Bottle Warmer: Baby

if you think she's a retard and might make the milk to hot.

<------had to go to a lot of baby showers in my time.

[Ivve]

How do strollers do on public transportation? We were looking at buying her something like this:
Graco Quattro Tour Travel System Stroller - Catalina - Graco - Babies "R" Us

Is both a stroller and a car seat, collapsible, easy to operate, etc. I'm just not sure how that's going to work if she's taking a bus or a train. I've only taken public transportation once and zero of the times included a baby traveling partner.

Also thank you for the suggestions so far. I'm divided between making one big purchase like the stroller or a piece of furtniture (crib, changing table, etc) vs. making smaller purchases and giving her a gift basket type thing as suggested.

[Vandalhart]

If the baby latches quickly and painlessly then she may keep with the breast feeding.. however, I've heard of man instances where the Baby doesn't get enough nutrients and supplementing formula into their diet can help with a baby that cries all the time.

I guess all the baby talk from my work exercise class may be useful to someone besides myself.

[Neosutra]

Birth control.

[Ivve]

Little late for that.

[sephir]

my brother hada baby in April and my sister about 2 years before that. A stroller is an excellent idea, a bouncy chair is also really good. How about a crib? I know those can be expensive but sometimes you can find some that are used that are in perfect condition. One thing I think is almost a necessity is something to keep the baby in place such as a play place, or bouncy chair.

Also breast feeding is considered somewhat better to formula because of the anti-body transferance that takes place. However sometimes the nutritional components are not fully there, so it can be beneficial to mix with formula.

Its scary what you learn as an uncle.