need some advice BG (never thought i'd make one of these threads lol)

[Burnett]

I was 16 (she was 15, both virgins). I told her no, turned it down, but she insisted. That woman is now my wife =/

Was she always fat?

[Tyche]

Am I being wooshed or just being trolled. My wife is fat because I posted pictures of her pregnant?

[#686578]

i really need a better pic of julie. that one is just ughh. like i said when i posted it its not a very good pic of her.

btw like i would really give a fuck that all of bg knows i got laid.

seriously i wouldn't have made a advice thread if my buddies actually gave good advice. only one buddy actually sat me down and had a long chat without inputting something stupid like half the posters here seem to be trying to do atm.

i must say though today is going well without psycho bitch to deal with. been nice and quiet without the psycho making my phone ring every few mins.

Stop making shit up, I know for a fact you dont have any friends.

[#686578]

why do i get this feeling when numbers posts he's just gonna up and say gair i am your brother one day. numbers you act just like him man lol.

virgin wise here i'd say staying a virgin past 18 these days is bad. i do have one other buddy that is a virgin at 24 that looks like a fusion of mr.burns off the simpsons and bill gates. see fucked up part with steven is he has had offers for getting laid a few times but turned it down just cause the chicks were early 30's- early 40's that were offering. me on the other hand this is the first a chick was willing.

surprised no one has asked yet what goes through a man's head being a virgin at as old as 25. i will say it was really damn frustrating to deal with. ya see your buddies going out geting some night after night and some talking bout it and it eats away your fucking soul fast. ya start thinking wtf is wrong with me why no girl will fuck me yet they'll fuck this buddy of mine thats ugly as hell or a total douchebag. eventually you go suicidal. (yes, i fucking been there so please stop joking bout that shit it's not funny). its nuts

Your brother must be fucking awesome then, but I doubt it seeing what kind of crap you are.

P.s. No one cares.

[#686578]

"Gee, Numbers, how can you be so sure that this fat pathetic retard has no friends?"


Why, I'm glad you asked Nobody, it's elementary physics really. This retard spouts random nonsense that he thinks makes him sound cool all day long without realizing people just want him to shut the fuck up.

Except for the parts where you were like DUDE DRAGONS AND GAIRAIDEN... AND NEGAGAIRAIDEN... that was hilarious, we all burst out laughing at you on that one.

At, not with.

[Kaisha]

Threads like these make me wish BG had an archive for them.

Would toss Woozie's unforgetable spam topic in there also.

[Alishe]

why do i get this feeling when numbers posts he's just gonna up and say gair i am your brother one day. numbers you act just like him man lol.

virgin wise here i'd say staying a virgin past 18 these days is bad. i do have one other buddy that is a virgin at 24 that looks like a fusion of mr.burns off the simpsons and bill gates. see fucked up part with steven is he has had offers for getting laid a few times but turned it down just cause the chicks were early 30's- early 40's that were offering. me on the other hand this is the first a chick was willing.

surprised no one has asked yet what goes through a man's head being a virgin at as old as 25. i will say it was really damn frustrating to deal with. ya see your buddies going out geting some night after night and some talking bout it and it eats away your fucking soul fast. ya start thinking wtf is wrong with me why no girl will fuck me yet they'll fuck this buddy of mine thats ugly as hell or a total douchebag. eventually you go suicidal. (yes, i fucking been there so please stop joking bout that shit it's not funny). its nuts

I don't doubt it was your first offer. We have all figured out what was wrong with you, except you haven't. Contemplating suicide over not getting laid is pathetic, there's always hookers. That should be the last reason you think about it, however there are many other reasons to consider it. Just remember, do it outside because no one wants to clean you off the carpet.

[Cyn]

Sex is sex, you either have it or you don't.

Nah it's a shuttle launch yo.

[kuronosan]

why do i get this feeling when numbers posts he's just gonna up and say gair i am your brother one day. numbers you act just like him man lol.

virgin wise here i'd say staying a virgin past 18 these days is bad. i do have one other buddy that is a virgin at 24 that looks like a fusion of mr.burns off the simpsons and bill gates. see fucked up part with steven is he has had offers for getting laid a few times but turned it down just cause the chicks were early 30's- early 40's that were offering. me on the other hand this is the first a chick was willing.

surprised no one has asked yet what goes through a man's head being a virgin at as old as 25. i will say it was really damn frustrating to deal with. ya see your buddies going out geting some night after night and some talking bout it and it eats away your fucking soul fast. ya start thinking wtf is wrong with me why no girl will fuck me yet they'll fuck this buddy of mine thats ugly as hell or a total douchebag. eventually you go suicidal. (yes, i fucking been there so please stop joking bout that shit it's not funny). its nuts

You know why they'll fuck that buddy of yours? Because you have no self-fucking-confidence. When I was 17, I got whatever I could. Then I had no sex for almost 10 years before I slept with my stepsister and ended up with my current girlfriend.

If you act like you're desperate and nobody will sleep with you, then nobody will sleep with you. If you act like they're stupid for not sleeping with you, then they'll sleep with you. Simple as that.

And by the way, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin past 18. It doesn't make you fucking cool to lose your virginity. It's not some exclusive club. Once you've slept with a few women and find someone you want to be with you start to see how idiotic it is to want to sleep with as many women as you can, because it's just sex. It's the same with every person.

It's called maturity. Something I'm surprised you don't have at your age. I don't know how many times I've told you this. This time I'll be a little less nice about it.

Get your ass a personal trainer. Stop drinking those Amps or Red Bulls, get your ass on a treadmill, lift some weights, hang out with some guys and pay attention to how they pick girls up, learn how to dance, and then go out and be confident about yourself. You'll be beating off the girls with a stick. Once you've had your fill of sex and actually grow up to act like a real man (this is the hard part), you're ready to find someone you actually want to be with.

Now this will be really disappointing, because it probably won't be Quasimodo or Gojira-the-supposedly-hot-JP, but it'll be somebody who fits you almost perfectly. Even then, be prepared to be bitched at, yelled at, told you're wrong when you're not, be prepared to be miserable sometimes and happy other times, and then ... and only then, will you know what it's like to be with somebody you will probably marry.

If you have it in your head that having a girlfriend is all about getting laid all the time, my friend, you might as well turn gay now.

[_chuchu]

Threads like these make me wish BG had an archive for them.

Would toss Woozie's unforgetable spam topic in there also.

nevar furget

[Mayareira]

Had a few things I wanted to say before I hit the gym tonight. First of all, I just got out of the shower with my bitch Sandy. She's 90 pounds, 5'3 and the has the body and face of a goddess. You know how I pulled her? By being the alpha male. Something you nerds don't know shit about. All you know about is sandworm and ixion, while I'm out there in the club popping bottles and cheating on my bitch every night with the finest dimes in Jersey.
Did I fuck my bitch in the shower just a minute ago? Yea, it was clutch, and that bitch would never cheat on a greek god looking specimen like myself, I give it to her so good. Don't believe me? Ask your girlfriend. Know what I'm saying? Face, pussy.
I am the most attractive man any of you will ever have the privilege of being amongst. I bench 240 pounds now and do 2,500 sit-ups a day. My abs are hard as a rock and my dick is the size of a cucumber. When I walk down the street I can smell your girlfriend's pussy getting wet. She wants to fucks with a real boss, not a chump change coward like yourself. Just playin, you ain't even got a girl. All you got is FFXI. You play that shit, imma be playing with my girls tits in the club.

Somebody had to!

[Davricle]

Then I had no sex for almost 10 years before I slept with my stepsister and ended up with my current girlfriend.

Kuro, you my boy, but I gotta hear this.

[Pirian]

Kuro, you my boy, but I gotta hear this.

No blood, its cool

[Alishe]

Benching 240 is not an accomplishment, just saying. As far exaggerated as the rest of the quote is you'd think they would have made that a higher number.

2,500 sit ups is pretty intense, useless, but intense nonetheless.

[Tyche]

Benching 240 is not an accomplishment, just saying. As far exaggerated as the rest of the quote is you'd think they would have made that a higher number.

2,500 sit ups is pretty intense, useless, but intense nonetheless.

You just totally missed the boat on this one...

I was there for the original, and it was great. I forgot what the thread was even about. That single post killed the focus of it for me.

[Alishe]

I've seen it in someone's sig before too, I can pretty much assume the circumstances it was originally posted under.

[_chuchu]

Sath's sig

[kuronosan]

Kuro, you my boy, but I gotta hear this.

Long story short, she cheated on her boyfriend with me, we fucked a couple of times, he found out, then she slept with someone else before they got back together, and he got her pregnant. Now he's a bum who sits on his ass all day and she pretty much does nothing with her life.

Don't really feel like getting into it much, and she wasn't very good. About the only thing that was good was coming inside her and then seeing the look on her face every time I've seen her since. It's awkward and funny as she tries to pretend it never happened (and just so her boyfriend doesn't beat her, she tells him I took advantage of her when she was sleeping in my room) even though she's the one who said "yea totally let's fuck".

I'd post pictures, but I never managed to get any of her. I'll do you guys a favor and not, though, as she looks much worse than she used to after having a baby cut out of her.

[Mayareira]

You just totally missed the boat on this one...

I was there for the original, and it was great. I forgot what the thread was even about. That single post killed the focus of it for me.

http://www.bluegartr.com/forum/68831...ml#post2470138

[Tyche]

Oh, here it is. Epic post in an epic thread.

http://www.bluegartr.com/forum/68831...ml#post2470138

Edit: Beaten!