Coming Out?

[Colenzo]

I will admit. I've imagined gay sex before. There were two gay females and I was right in the center. Oh lawdy

fag

[Cream Soda]

Were they scissoring?

http://www.serebii.net/potw/Scizor.jpg


fo shizzle

[Colenzo]

dayum

[Koul]

There's many reasons why people probably don't come out.

personally, I'ma queer and the reason why I don't come out to my Dad is that.... I don't know how to go about it. It just seems akward no matter how I picture it going. He already pretty much knows so I don't bring it up because it's not an issue. Sometimes he'll ask if I've "found someone" and I just say "naw, not yet". It used to be "have I found a girlfriend, yet?" so that's how I know he knows.

a reason why you should come out though is because it can form some mental barriers. These barriers can cause insane amounts of stress/guilt/suicidal thoughts. Whatever.

here's a fun way to put it. Y'know how when you keep a fart in it just... doesn't feel good? But when you do fart it's great relief and your body just feels better. That's what this is like.

Coming out will be better for a person emotionally, mentally and probably physically. So, to people who say gays shouldn't come out needa shut their filthy clams cuz they dun know what they're talking about~

the only place I would stay in the closet at, is work. Because work is a completely different game. At least at my work. Besides personal information is moot at the job, for the most part

[Telamond]

With modern day technology you hardly even need to come out.
Just put it on facebook or twitter. If they don't like it. Just ignore them. Quick, painless.

When I came out, you had to sit in front of the person and tell them face to face.

Also, you're not coming out for somebody else, it's kind of like a self-acceptance by telling others.

[Apelila]

First things first: Anyone Disagreeing with Archi on if coming out is selfish needs to realize that being selfish isn't always bad. If you want something for yourself, that's being selfish. It can be a lot of other things as well, it starts to be bad when you want at the cost of others.

Having said that....

As the title suggests why do it? Say when you have a very religious family and the drama will be very massive.

I didn't come out. I moved 3 states and 2000 miles away from Texas to Arizona because I was so terrified that I'd be kicked out on my ass if my parents found out. I thought it was better to throw everything I had away than come out in Texas, because either way I was going to loose everything I had.

Fast forward 2 years later, my brother starts doing Drugs and starts spilling family secrets to throw my parents off him until he gets arrested, bam I'm outed.

Present Day my parents aren't happy with it. I can say that while the way they got the news wasn't ideal, showing up with a guy and saying 'i'm fucking him' would have been much worse.

[ZarakiKujata]

modern culture created this "women's rights" lifestyle, don't abide to it.

you like beating your wife, its your life. you don't have to swing in everyone's face. keep her black and blue face under a burqa, its personal

fixed?

Milkies you can do it. Bitches love confidence.

[Arvin]

this topic is fucking stupid and gay

[Tsuko_Asura]

being gay is fucking stupid and gay

burn the fags!

.

[Arvin]

thank you for correcting me hot stuff

wanna go have some unprotected anal sex?

[Tsuko_Asura]

I'm flattered, but my penis belongs to Eternity(_End)

[Tsuko_Asura]

Actually, come to think, that right there is an excellent topic of discussion: how many people just don't give a damn about wrapping themselves up for some anal play? I, personally, wouldn't dare do something as reckless as that, but I swear, the last few guys I've.. Well, yeah.. Didn't give a fuck, not one bit.

[Julian]

Tags
coming

I kinda lold I think i should go back to sleep

[Tsuko_Asura]

Or participate in the RL pic thread~

[Arvin]

Actually, come to think, that right there is an excellent topic of discussion: how many people just don't give a damn about wrapping themselves up for some anal play? I, personally, wouldn't dare do something as reckless as that, but I swear, the last few guys I've.. Well, yeah.. Didn't give a fuck, not one bit.

but fucking with a condom is awful




even if its anal fucking another guy






probably

[Mistress Stowastiq]

For a person who places high esteem and self identity on the external acknowledgment of their surrounding family and peers, staying private can be a very painful and traumatic choice.

It can be similar to being invisible.

A choice to stay private, in the above example, can be an unsettling and a troublesome life choice, an omnipresent barrier and symbol that recurs or stifles other personal growth and happiness. It can make future plans more difficult to conceptualize.

For many of us, acceptance is taken for granted, an underlying factor in life that we get used to. There is always some form of external acceptance we look for, be it eye contact from a passing stranger or the ability to get married to the person you love. Before we stop to deny that we need acceptance, acknowledgment of our self from others, think about how simple it is to receive it in daily life, then imagine what it is like without that acceptance.

Without that factor, imagine how difficult it would be. I am talking about just being whoever we are doing what we consider normal if it were not taken as normal by others.

When weighing the consequences and impact on loved ones that might occur from coming out, that person also has to consider the value of their own self acceptance. For some, their own self acceptance is woven deeply into receiving the acceptance and acknowledgment of others.

To have to hide what is normal, what is sacred, important and valid, from those you care about, from society, from anyone, can be an incredible burden to carry. For many, this burden is lifted or traded for the others that come with disclosure.

[Julian]

Or participate in the RL pic thread~

You'd like that wouldn't you

[Psion]

I came from a very religious family (born again christian/catholic mainly... In fact, I think I'm the only one in both sides of the family alive that's an atheist...well, now anyways) and when I was younger and a christian myself I thought the world had ended when one day I hit that day when I woke up and found an attraction to other men, unasked and unwanted. I spent several years of agony praying to god to help me out, suffering. My parents even found out about it on accident and oh man was that an unpleasant night. Essentially I was treated like I was a demon for something I couldn't help, it was the worst experience I've ever had to endure.

After many years of suffering, even having the priest pray to take the so called demon out of me, one day I found out 3 of my best friends were Wiccans, and the conflict of me supposed to hate their religion, even though they were the kindest people I've ever met, was so strong it tore down everything I had believed in, leaving only a new beginning to seek out a logical answer, and I found it. Science showed me that there wasn't anything I could do about it, and nothing to be ashamed of, and suddenly all the self loathing and pain was gone... most of it. The rest however, still remained because I hid the fact that I wasn't ashamed of who I was from anyone, and that seed of fear was a constant gnawing at the heart.

If I came out I was afraid I would get kicked out despite being in high school still, and the constant stress of it was horrible. I didn't even come out intentionally... it was because I was skipping church and my parents cornered me into a room about it. Then the fact that I was atheist, and gay, and not ashamed of either sort of tumbled out. It took an incredible amount of effort for me to stand my ground, but I managed to, and my commanding parents were forced to retreat for the first time in their life when their always obedient son stood his ground for once. That's when the rest of the pain finally went away, though the first few days were full of painful fear in their own way.

I never regret standing my ground though, and now I'm slowly starting to build up my own personality and courage. Now if someone asks me if I got a girlfriend, or if I'm gay, I don't even flinch in letting them know what I am. I don't go around screaming it to people, but if they ask, I tell them. It's vitally important you let your close family and friends know though, even if you don't think it's worth the trouble. ESPECIALLY if you think they won't accept it. You have a duty to let them know, especially if their close minded about it. Such walls of prejudice and hatred only breed more hatred, and it's important for you to tear such walls down, for everyone's safety, especially those who harbor such hatred.

You have options, even if your dependent upon your family. There are centers and lines you can call for support, and help if you are a victim of prejudice and get the curb. Don't let the fear of rejection build up in you... it can and will destroy your health, sanity, and can and almost certainly will lead you to suicidal thoughts if not actual suicide. There's a reason gay men are 3 times more likely to attempt suicide then straight males. I strongly suggest you come out when you have the courage to do so, as it will be the best decision of your life... and the beginning of a new and better one.

[Howard Roark]

If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were somehow insinuating that coming out is a selfish act.

It is.

And?

Plenty of things people do are selfish - it's not like you're coming out for the betterment of other people or to put their minds at ease - you're coming out to feel more comfortable yourself.

Just because it's selfish (and it is) doesn't mean it's wrong.

I don't normally play the Rand card but:

Spoiler: show

Hi, my name is Howard Roark and selfishness is a virtue.

for the rest, Mistress Stowastiq and others covered it nicely

[Colenzo]

who wants to pound my vag?