Coming Out?

[Milkster]

Outting people is never cool/classy at all. Learned this 9th grade year of high school.

[archibaldcrane]

Outting people is never cool/classy at all unless they are elected officials who actively work against gay rights.

ftfy

inb4 Kuya?

[Milkster]

Ok maybe then that is cool also acceptable.

[BadKarma]

"I'm coming out, I want the world to know, I want to let it show"


No idea.

[Cream Soda]

Depending on how old you were, that's either kind of a dick move but you didn't really know what you were doing or a huge dickhole douchebag move which your brother would probably be justified in excommunicating you completely. But, I don't know the inner workings of your family, so that's just judging from what you posted. Take it with a grain of salt. Coming out, though, is, needless to say, an extremely personal thing to do. Making that decision for someone is just wrong.

While it may/may not be a dick move, not his obligation or responsibility to keep secrets for his brother or lie to anyone for him

[Ruiner]

While it may/may not be a dick move, not his obligation or responsibility to keep secrets for his brother or lie to anyone for him

It also wasn't his obligation to go snooping around in his brother's personal effects for incriminating secrets, either. It's not like his brother confided his homosexuality in him and demanded he not tell anyone. Besides, I doubt he really would've had to lie for him that much, anyway. I don't think he was facing questions about his brother's sexuality with any regularity.

[Cream Soda]

It also wasn't his obligation to go snooping around in his brother's personal effects for incriminating secrets, either. It's not like his brother confided his homosexuality in him and demanded he not tell anyone. Besides, I doubt he really would've had to lie for him that much, anyway. I don't think he was facing questions about his brother's sexuality with any regularity.

While it wasn't his obligation or even looking at the fact that he shouldn't have been snooping around, just because he did so, does not make it an obligation to keep those things secret that he did see, unless that's not what you're implying (which if it isn't I don't see the point in having brought it up).

I still think it was a dick move but not like it was his responsibility to not say anything or cover up for his brother.

[Ruiner]

Maybe not his "responsibility," but it was a huge (HUGE) dick move that lacked any class whatsoever and had serious physical consequences for the outed person, not to mention emotional damage.

[Cream Soda]

Oh, I never said he wasn't a dick for it, lol

[Ruiner]

Well, isn't it a brotherly responsibility not to be a dick (at least on this massive, life-altering, shit-that-really-matters scale) to your sibling(s)?

[Cream Soda]

Not really, not everybody is the brady bunch family. Some just don't get along. It is how it is.

[EternityEnd]

You've no social etiquette if you think someone, with whom a large and life-altering secret has been entrusted to, has no responsibility to keep said secret.

[Cream Soda]

You've no social etiquette if you think someone, with whom a large and life-altering secret has been entrusted to, has no responsibility to keep said secret.

Wasn't entrusted to him. He found it by snooping around. Not like his brother went to him and said hey man I'm gay i need you never to tell anyone.

He found it and went oh hey gay porn. DADYY!!! COME LOOK

[Xenega]

I read little of the thread, but thought I would share my thoughts on the start of the topic.

Personally, for me, I am out of the closet. I don't pretend to be in it, and I could care less who knows. But that's just me.
I also didn't come out until my second year of HS, and I came out to my mom my Junior year. I still haven't officially came out to my dad. He knows, I'm sure, but he's in the whole "denial" stage.
But I also don't flaunt it and go "I'm gay! Look at me!". It's not a big deal to me, because it's just who I am.

I think that if you need to talk to your family in order to be closer to them, then you should. Sure, some might not accept it at first, but it's not only selfish to not accept you, but it's wrong. That's what family is for, to be there for each other.
For me, I probably won't talk to my dad until I'm in an actual relationship that there is merit to. I'm perfectly fine knowing that he might not accept me, but I would rather have a reason to actually bring it up instead of just bringing it up because I can. I don't feel the need to alter a perfectly good relationship with him over an issue that I don't find to be an issue, until there is an actual reason.

It's totally your call, but that's just my thoughts on it...

[Kuya]

ftfy

inb4 Kuya?

I was already in the thread.

Anyway let me fix it for real:

"Outting people is never cool/classy unless they do something i don't agree with in which case it is cool and classy so the first part of this statement was pointless"

Let's not pretend we have standards here people.

[chiyio]

*disclaimer, I'm straight*

However, I come from a very religious back ground, and I came out of the atheist closet and I'm pretty sure my family thinks that's worse than gay, but it worked out fine.

I say go for it, if you're ready. don't' worry about "them", if you're ready, come out, if you still need time don't just yet. Work on your schedule, not theirs. It'll work out fine, don't stress it. Just wait till you're comfortable talking about it. Maybe think about why you are/are not ready and go from there.

[MoogleAura]

I'm out to close friends of mine, but not to my family. I don't see any point in telling them until I have finished university, have my own place and I'm financially able to support myself because in the worst case scenario that they disown me then at least it's not going to affect the rest of my life too much. If I were to tell them now then it would cause some big complications that may affect me finishing my degree.

Since I'm not in a relationship or looking to be in one at the moment with everything else happening in my life at the moment it's just pointless.

this is good.

modern culture created this "coming out" lifestyle, don't abide to it.

you like doing boys, its your life. you don't have to swing in everyone's face. keep it yourself, its personal

WTF Firas? I read some of your posts in the 'What religion are you thread?' and even though I am not religious, I admired your story about how you found Islam and you seemed like an open-minded guy but this post makes you look like another close-minded religious zombie.

you like islam, it's your life. you don't have to blow yourself up in everyone's face. keep it yourself, its personal. Oh look I can stereotype too!

The majority of Muslim's are not extremist nutjobs but the minority give Islam such a bad name.
Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they flaunt the fact in everybody's face. People like those guys from 'Queer Eye For The Straight Guy' & Perez Hilton are a complete embarassment to gay people.

[Zhais]

I don't normally play the Rand card but:

Spoiler: show

Hi, my name is Howard Roark and selfishness is a virtue.

for the rest, Mistress Stowastiq and others covered it nicely

late but <3 you

[Brill Weave]

Wait. Perez Hilton is gay?

[Yuri-G]

he's not gay, he's a flaming faggot. there's a difference, believe me. calling perez hilton gay is an insult to all the upstanding citizens of this great nation who just happen to suck cock. he is the type of person I referenced in my coming out post who really would come out just for the attention and drama it causes... the worst kind of queer.