How do I take wheels of a car?

[Qalbert]

Take a shit in a pringles can, punch some small holes in the lid, and stick it in the back of his pantry/cupboard what have you.

[Xiona]

id make a scratch on his hood fuck the wheels. you dont fuck with a mans hair.

[Correction]

Shut the fuck up Correction! Next thing I see you type better be a method of vengeance!!

That does it, it's war! Where do yo park your car? Wait, never mind that mickey mouse shit, where does your family live so I can murder them!

Dear BG, how do you skin and joint a living human being?

[Mistress Stowastiq]

That's because the people who have worked on cars have all said don't do it because too much can go wrong. Hopefully he listens. And I agree, if it's Euro don't even think about it. You'll be spending some loot to fix what you end up fucking up.

^
So much easier to just put some kinda washable annoyance on the outside of his car, barring it does not make him late for work or damage the vehicle permanently. Think of what he did to you and how much you paid to correct it. Don't incur monetary damage to some one's vehicle you can get sued for it. Realistically you can sue him for cutting your hair but it will cost more than it's worth I imagine. Shave his head too, be patient and get him shaved when he does not expect it. Realize even with some soap on the car, some men will slaughter you without hesitation if you fuck with their cars. There is a temporary insanity that car lover's brains go through when some one messes with their shit.

Be glad you didn't get violated in another way...

[Brill Weave]

That does it, it's war! Where do yo park your car? Wait, never mind that mickey mouse shit, where does your family live so I can murder them!

Dear BG, how do you skin and joint a living human being?

You son of a bitch. Bring it! Be forewarned! I BITE!!!

[Stumblingdrunk]

YouTube - Garbage Can Full of Water Prank

Oh my god, did anyone watch the video this was posted in response to? Definitely worth a watch. YouTube - Ignorant racist fail

[Correction]

And: Stop getting passed-out drunk with a) mean drunks b) people you don't trust even sober.

If you disobey this rule you pretty much deserve everything that happens to you. Moral of the story, kids!

[Aksannyi]

Could always do what my friends and I did: get a bunch of packing peanuts and dump them inside our friend's car.

[Norellicus]

Oh man I forgot about packing peanuts. That is win if you can manage to forcibly propel them into the car and fill up just about every nook of the interior, or even at least just up to the window edges.

[thomassmith]

This takes the cake as the dumbest thread I've ever read. Encourage vandalism hooray !

[Aksannyi]

We had them up to the steering wheel. Lesson learned for him, don't leave your car unlocked.

[Melchiah]

I'm going to outline the best procedure for what you want to accomplish, including ways to avoid damage. Then I'm going to outline why this is a bad idea.

First, it is absolutely possible to do what you have in mind without damaging the vehicle. However, this prank requires(as you have been told countless times already in this thread) a fair amount of know-how, and some special equipment.

To do this properly, you will first need to do some recon. You will need to know what model his car is, and you will need to know whether or not he has locking lugnuts. Right off the bat, if he does have locking lugs, this task just graduated from a prank to a James Bond-esque mission that could be construed as a felony. You have been warned.

If locking lugs are a factor, I personally recommend mission abort, but if you are stubborn, then you will need to locate the key for the lugs. It will have the appearance of a regular socket with a hex head that fits inside the lug wrench. Most people keep these things in the trunk, glove box, or in the case of OEM(factory-installed) locks, it will be located near the spare tire changing equipment, normally attached to the lug wrench with a steel cable. At this point, it should become clear why we have graduated from a prank to a felony... you'll need to break into his car.

If locking lugs are not a factor, then you will need a hydraulic floor jack(preferably a low-profile one on wheels), four wooden 4x4s, about 1' long, and some tools to actually remove the lug nuts. You'll also need a method of transporting this equipment to and from the crime scene.

Upon arriving at the crime scene, the first thing you'll need to do is make sure the emergency brake is ON. Do not overlook this step, PERIOD. Next, beginning at the front of the car, you will place the saddle of the floor jack under the cross-member, dead center. After contacting the cross-member with the jack, stop and begin loosening(NOT REMOVING) the lug nuts on the front wheels. After they are all loosened, lift the jack again until both front tires clear the ground. At this point you may finish removing the lug nuts and then the wheels. A note: If this is a Honda, you may need to briskly strike the edge of the tire to loosen the rim from the hub.

After removing the front tires, you should place two of your 4x4s under the lower ball joints, lengthwise with the car, and slowly lower the jack until the ball joints make contact with the wooden beams.

You will repeat this procedure on the two rear wheels, however I will caution you that if this is a front-wheel drive car(and it most likely is) you should not center the jack under the rear axle. There will be a specific location marked on the vehicle to lift from. Follow instructions. Otherwise, it's rinse and repeat of the first section.

Now, on to why this is a bad idea:

1) If you break into this person's car to retrieve such things as a wheel lock key, or to set the emergency brake, you have committed a felony.

2) Now that you have the wheels removed, what then? Will you just leave them there for him to quickly reassemble his car? If you remove them from his property, you have committed a felony.

3) I can tell you are far from a trained mechanic, and thus the likelihood of you crushing a brake line, or an exhaust pipe, or damaging the suspension components is extremely high. These things are very expensive to have repaired, and you would be liable for the costs.

4) 1-3 are not mutually exclusive, they are all possible simultaneous outcomes.

I am an ASE certified auto technician, and I have all the equipment necessary to pull this prank. I've never done it, and I recommend that you not do it as well. If any of the equipment or car parts I've listed sound like something you think would be installed on the Millennium Falcon, don't even entertain the idea of pulling this prank.

Bonus: A few choice "safe" pranks to pull on someone else car

1) Let the air out of his tires
2) If it's a rear-wheel drive car, zip-tie wheel weights to the drive shaft.

Also: Whoever made the comment about fucking up wheel alignment by pulling this prank, yes it's possible, but you'd have to almost TRY to do it.

[Melena]

Melchiah speaks the truth, Thomasmith obviously hasn't read some of the classic threads on BG and is on his typically trolling "warpath"

[Kajii]

what kind of car is it?

[thebearofscience]

Just throw away the idea and do another thing. You're going to have to end up paying a shit load. And can someone please fix the title, haha. how i take wheels of car?

[Siniroth]

Fill his car with golf balls and be on your way (if it hasn't been said, I don't feel like reading the second page)

[Furtwangler]

if you can open up the hood of the car, go to the fuse box and pull the starter fuses. Won't cause any damage, just won't start. all you'll need to do is just put them back in again to fix it.

[FNH]

Go to a sporting goods store go to the hunting scents aisle and buy some "Sow in Heat" scent and spray some in the A/C vents of his car or home. You'll win.

[noblemountain]

Freeze a few cans of shaving cream, open the bottom with a can opener, stick them in the car and shut the windows.

[Drex]

Pour water in his gas tank