Suicidal thoughts

[Elites]

This is going to be long, but I would never waste my time before expressing what I'm going through to a person or a forum..

So you were all right, about a month ago I posted about how my girlfriend of 2 years were ignoring me while she was on vacation in India. She was supposed to be due back last Friday on the 14th, she sent me a msg about 3 weeks ago at last assuring me nothing is wrong between us and that she still loves me a lot and can't wait to come back. I was being patient, believed and just waited for the 14th to arrive until then and was also relieved that nothing was in fact wrong between us. So I get everything ready last Thursday the day before she's due, had some money saved up so we could go out and have our time again like the way we used to almost everyday in the past 2 years.

Friday came, she wasn't back yet it seems in the afternoon..I thought maybe the flight is taking a bit longer, Saturday morning and she still hasn't come back. Later Saturday evening, low and behold I found her online on AIM but has me blocked on my regular SN (IM'ed her from another one instead). Told her "Welcome back..:\" I get a reply saying she's not back, she's still in India. At this point I had figured something is terribly wrong. She said she's not coming back, because of her abusive father here. Theres alot of history between this father and her+her mother, he's a drunk and he has alot of temper issues. He stayed back while they went to India in July.

At this point I was panicking as I thought this wasn't possible, she then told me to move on. The way she was speaking was not the way she ever spoke to me before ever. She then signed off without a word. I didn't know what to do, it was all so sudden and crushed all my hopes into thinking she was going to come back and loved me this whole time (from the msg she sent me 3 weeks before). I also didn't believe she could be in India forever, so I waited.

The next time she came on, I gave her a website which if she clicked and she did, would bring up her IP results..I checked it and the results were this 76.16.108.235 76 - Lookup IP address, Geolocation, IP address tracking. States she's in the US at Schererville, Indiana. Which makes perfect sense because that was the number one place she'd mention all the time if they had move out last year..her relatives live there. I told her this fact about her IP, she didn't know what an IP number was and still proceeded to lie to me about how she's in India and got into a car accident broke her leg, and is seeing a shrink...the more I kept mentioning how I know the truth the more she got madder and kept telling me I'm wrong..we all know the IP doesn't lie at least to the extent of being in the country or not.

Just to not anger her further and never speaking to me again, I decided to go along with her story as at this point I just wanted to know where this is heading..She started to spurt out things out of anger and said she hated me, said she was depressed being with me all these things which make no sense because she was infact very happy the month before she left while she was with me..I Know the father is an issue here for them not returning but I'm puzzled as to why she's talking that way to me as if she really wants me out of her life now in a split second.

I passed her house here a few times recently and I noticed their father getting kicked out because he was trashing the place, cutting the window nets..the landlord was pissed and decided to kick him out but all their stuff still remains in there. It's now been a week since her due date of returning and she hasn't come online since Monday..she told me to stop sending her messages to her facebook but I told her that's the only way I have of reaching her. She told me she needs time to recover and she'll talk to me when she's ready. I respect her, I told her I'll listen and that's all I've been doing now, not trying to bother her and even believing the story she's telling me about still being in India (I'm assuming she's not telling me the truth because she's afraid I might spit out stuff to her dad of her whereabouts).

So for the past week I haven't been able to adjust, no sleep, no food and definitely no comfort in mind. I lost all sense in reality and I can't seem to get over this at all, I was under such a wrong impression from her msg three weeks ago that it got me excited over nothing. My love for her is still there and this is the worst part, I made her the center of my life and I basically can't see past anything anymore. I wake up in the morning feeling like I could unload a bullet into my head without hesitating, I wake up from dreams of her returning and everything being back to normal but it gets crushed as soon as I wake up. I have practically zero friends to lay back on as well, my parents work all day and neglect me enough to not know a thing about my life.

I'm turning 22 this September and I really feel like I'm on my last string of living a healthy life, I just don't fear in killing myself at all and it's becoming scarier by the day. I have never expressed my feelings to anyone like this before and definitely not on a forum, but this is the one time I feel I needed to do so because I have no other direction right now. I want to message her on facebook telling her how I'm really feeling right now and what I'm going through, basically being down to earth and that I'm close to practically ending myself with all jokes aside..the only thing stopping me from messaging her is the fact that she told me not to and give her time to recover till she's ready to talk to me. I don't know what to do, this pain won't stop as much as I try to not think about it.

[Milkster]

What? If you're killing yourself over losing a girlfriend, I don't even know what to say bro. Unless I'm being wooshed.

[Charismatic]

Dude

[Kiarax]

Bitches get stitches, quit being a pussy and get over her. If you can't do that killing yourself is a fantastic alternative.

[Charismatic]

I FEEL FOR YOU MAN

[Charismatic]

Bitches get stitches, quit being a pussy and get over her. If you can't do that killing yourself is a fantastic alternative.

Hey, it is not that goddamn easy.

[Krye]

Kill yourself

[Ryko]

TL;KY

[Ksandra]

spam was probably the worse place to post it. (no offense, but these guys can be brutal).

I'm at work atm but please if you need to vent to someone (always help) send me a pm and I'll IM you when I get home (in about 5 hours).

suicide is never the answer, and whether or not you'd actually do it is irrelevant. Sometimes it's just good to voice it.



REally though I say it all the time, women are fucking bitches, they aren't worth losing your life over

[Faris]

i'm sorry, i'm not reading all this.
Goodluck with whatever you're having

[Faris]

can someone summarize what he said?
this better not be another my girlfriend-dumped-me story

[Charismatic]

It is.

[Lokky]

she didn't lie to you, she is in India(na)

[Falisa]

I don't know what any of us can say here to help you out that we haven't said already in the past two threads you made. Don't come on these forums to vent, because if you don't want to fix yourself, I'd say the people who actually would have cared, probably don't give a shit now.


I'm probably one of the worst people when it comes to people talking about suicide. I have no patience for it, maybe after having countless online friends use the line with me. Its stupid, selfish and attention whoring.

[Charismatic]

I STILL CARE MAN, MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU ELITES.
FUCK THE HYPE

[Ryko]

DO IT FAGGOT

[Milkster]

Killing yourself over a relationship? You need to find a hobby or a sport to do. Get all successful or whatever show up to bitch house and be all like BLAM you missin out on this, peace out.

[Mizango]

Look man straight up, pussy is good but its not that good. You have to put shit in perspective and let her move the hell on. She is and always has been a fraud, all the good times, the smiles, the sex was all just a front. Trust me, shes not worth it. As you get older and date more and more you will realize what a joke she is, everyone here has had a BF or a GF that used to mean something and now that you look back you thank Bob everyday that it didnt work out.

Offing yourself for a bitch is a cowards way out and changes nothing. She will still be gone, she will still be fucking someone else, she will eventually marry, have kids, grown old and die. Why do this to yourself for a female? Serious question. Not to be crass or crude but bitches are a dime a dozen and come and go. Pussy is a hell of a drug but is certainly nothing special. Trust me man, that is right in my wheel house. She is not worth it in the slightest. Don't be a pussy and pull a dick move like that thinking youre "punishing" her because you aren't. You're harming your parents, siblings and other family while she couldn't give a fuck less.

We all have our ups and down and I cant vilify you at all. I too have walked the suicide path after what happened to my parents and occasionally feel relapses as well but you have to look at the big picture and realize that she is selfish and you are much better without her in your life. Let her do here thing, it always comes full circle. People reap what they sow, just take this as a lesson and learn from it.

But if youre hell bent on doing it then who are we to stop you, just know that everyone will think your a selfish dick that pulled the ultimate bitch move because of a bitch. That's the weakest most embarrassing way to go. This should give you a wake up call and make you realize that you need help in crisis management. Shit happens, bitches come and they go. We told you 2 months ago this was going to happen, we all have been there done that.

Pussy is way overrated, until you realize that you are doomed to live this cycle of self loathing. Find one that fits you and wont hold conditions over your head, let the bitch go.

Like I told you last time, listen to this shit and wake up already. See yall think rappers are bad people for callin' these hoes bitches. Game recognize game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic7KH1PpbMY

[Mizango]

she didn't lie to you, she is in India(na)

ROFL

[Faris]

you're going to give up your life for bitch? snap the fuck out of it, this isn't Romeo & Juliet, no honor in committing suicide, or anything positive.

i swear if you're infront me, i'd beat you with a bat until you appreciate life.