My laptop overheats like a bitch to the point where I'm not sure if it doesnt have some sort of nuclear fission reactor inside of it.

My laptop's speakers have been dying, and are degrading.

My laptop's AC Adapter has shorted out, leaving me without power for my laptop.

Faced in the rare opportunity to use my desktop, that I usually use as storage, I find one of my harddrives has crashed... the one that I keep everything but my music and OS on. So 500-700GB worth of shit that I would really like to not lose.

I go to check the warranty status for my laptop, 666 days left.

This cannot be coincidence.