How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[Zilong]

Frodo where was God when Father Quinn was ripping apart my anus with his "rod and staff"?

Watching and masturbating, duh

[melbufrauma]

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3...rama/jesus.jpg

[Neosutra]

I prayed to Jesus last night to come inside me.

I woke up a bit sore and sticky.

Im not longer taken your advice.

But seriously, get the god damned fuck out of here with that bullshit.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Frodo is wise.

Pr 11:30 ¶ The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, And he who wins souls is wise.

[Qalbert]

Frodo answer my question! How can god love us and let me get pounded from behind by a "holy man" til blood gushed from my prepubescent rectum??

[Dareus]

I got a question Frodo! If on the first day God only created light, where did the darkness come from?

[xfrodobagginsx]

The Lord rebuke you satan with the blood of Jesus Christ. Be bound in the name of Jesus Christ and let go of their minds that they may be free to choose whom they will serve.

[Qalbert]

I got a question Frodo! If on the first day God only created light, where did the darkness come from?

Originally started in 1991 from Kirkley High School, Lowestoft in Suffolk, brothers Justin Hawkins (vocals and guitar) and Dan Hawkins (guitar and vocals) found themselves in London where they met up with childhood friends, Frankie Poullain (bass guitar and vocals) and Ed Graham (drums and percussion), and thus The Darkness was formed.

[Qalbert]

The Lord rebuke you satan with the blood of Jesus Christ. Be bound in the name of Jesus Christ and let go of their minds that they may be free to choose whom they will serve.

You're avoiding my question. Guess you don't have all the answers, huh?

[xfrodobagginsx]

I got a question Frodo! If on the first day God only created light, where did the darkness come from?

The bible says that:

Ge 1:1 ¶ In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
3 ¶ And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. 5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

[xfrodobagginsx]

You're avoiding my question. Guess you don't have all the answers, huh?

You have been written off for being disrespectful. Next time be respectful. I won't respond to you until you sincerely apologize for insulting my God.

[Qalbert]

Psalm 14:1 "...there is no God..."

[chiyio]

Is this for real?

[Darus Grey]

Why did Jesus die for our sins anyways? Seems pretty stupid. How did it help? What purpose did it serve?

He was GOD...an O.G. if there ever was one, he CREATED Jesus, and then sent him to die, for what? it's fucking sadistic.

It's like me making a bunch of stick figures, who are living in sin, and then I send down a new stick figure, and by me, God, murdering him, you are forgiven!

That's fucked up man, that's fucked up, you don't go out like that.

[Headspace]

This thread is the best the best the best the best

[Insanecyclone]

I don't like this thread no more

[Qalbert]

You have been written off for being disrespectful. Next time be respectful. I won't respond to you until you sincerely apologize for insulting my God.

How did I insult God? He let me get raped when I was SEVEN YEARS OLD. If anything HE insulted ME.

[Koul]

This is stupid. God will ultimately decide whether or not you'll get into heaven REGARDLESS of how much you worship him/how many prayers you gargle/everything.

The OP is a dumbass. May God have mercy on your soul

[Dareus]

The bible says that:

Ge 1:1 ¶ In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
3 ¶ And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. 5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

If a god creates a universe and no one is around to hear it, does it really get recorded?

[kareface]