Seriously how does a guy stay with just one woman?

[Ryko]

Maybe he just dont want you.

[Ragnell]

I'm in the same boat as Howard, but my problem is..Well I don't really know what the issues is, I mean I have a great girlfriend and all that shit but I really want to experience new pussy, and believe me I've had very little pussy besides her's. I want to run around and plug the freshest and hottest bitch.

Problem is, I don't want to leave her then lose all the shit I had with her, plus I'm sure i'm still not confidence enough to pull bitchs anyways, I aint got no pick up game, and my friends single chicks aint nothing I want to fuck with.

I'm not even sure if i'm happy in my current relationship or not, I'm not sad but i'm not sure if I'm like really happy like she is, Shit it's to the point she said he loves me, and No I aint say that shit, still haven't. I asked her the other day and she gave me some good reasons, and she asked me why I don't love her, I told her I don't know, because I really don't know. There is little things she does that annoys me, such as laugh out her annoyances, like if she has a problem with something she'll do some bullshit laugh while saying it, although I know it's a defensive mechinicism it still annoys me, because then I don't know when she's joking and when she's serious.


Or maybe I should stop being a bitch?


Also wall of texts

[Ksandra]

how long have you two dated?

[Ryko]

Problem is, I don't want to leave her then lose all the shit I had with her, plus I'm sure i'm still not confidence enough to pull bitchs anyways, I aint got no pick up game, and my friends single chicks aint nothing I want to fuck with.

No homo but the only thing stopping you specifically is confidence.

[tyven]

you do have nice jeans ragnell, bitches love nice jeans

[Ragnell]

how long have you two dated?

Since March, then made it Official in July

No homo but the only thing stopping you specifically is confidence.

Yea, I know it too but not really sure how to really boost that

you do have nice jeans ragnell, bitches love nice jeans

Thanks bro, I just got some brand new Crocs yesterday

[Ryko]

If you cant be more confident, fake it. It's one of those things that will just develop.

[Ksandra]

well good thing you haven't been dating too long. I would say if you do get to that point where you really feel your not inlove with her, cut it off asap. Don't string her around since her feelings are stronger than yours.


Also, after having experience the receiving end of a wayward bf, if you really want other pussy break up with her first, rather than cheating on her. This wouldn't end well and really isn't fair to her.

[tyven]

lets get an apartment in manhattan raggy, we can be just like the sex and the city girls. thats such a samantha thing to say

[Ragnell]

well good thing you haven't been dating too long. I would say if you do get to that point where you really feel your not inlove with her, cut it off asap. Don't string her around since her feelings are stronger than yours.


Also, after having experience the receiving end of a wayward bf, if you really want other pussy break up with her first, rather than cheating on her. This wouldn't end well and really isn't fair to her.

Naw, i'm not a cheater, I told her already if I was to cheat on her I would break up with her first.

Plus I do have feelings for her just not as much as she does for me

If you cant be more confident, fake it. It's one of those things that will just develop.

Problem is I'm not to sure what to be confident in, or what pulls more pussy

lets get an apartment in manhattan raggy, we can be just like the sex and the city girls. thats such a samantha thing to say

Sure why not

[Mizango]

Man Raggy you're in between a rock and a hard place. You have to evaluate what you have and work it from there. Pussy is nothing special and bob knows there are lots and lots of poon prowling the streets but very few of it are accompanied by a great sense of humor, a mild demeanor and just a general sense of holding it down for her man.

I mean it sounds great to live happily ever after with your first love or the first partner but in reality you have no clue what you have and are missing out on until you have invested an endless amount of time and effort into it.

I mean I don't know your girl but if she does her own thing, is self sufficient and not jealous and all up in your grill 24/7 then I am going to be honest and tell you that it may not even be worth looking. If all you are after is a new hole to poke then don't bother because the only thing different is that its a different face staring back at you.

[Shiroikage]

For some reason or another... I do not feel the need to mack all the bitches.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to mack all of the bitches.

[Ryko]

Gotta catch em all.

[Conrad]

thats such a samantha thing to say

DDL strikes again

[Howard Roark]

Also Ivve hit it right on the head as usual.

but i know howard will read it, idc about anyone else wading through that

Spoiler: show

i think there's way way too much emphasis on the sex factor here. you have to come to realize that having a monogamous long term relationship is only in (small) part based on sex and the rest based on compatibility, friendship, mutual support (financial and emotional), and shared goals. that's not to say sex is not important; finding someone who is compatible with you in the bedroom is a big deal, but honestly sex fades with age. your drive will most likely decrease (or probably has already -- can you still fuck as many times a day as you felt you could when you were 20? do you think you will feel the same when you're 40, 50, 60?) as will your tolerance for silly bitches who don't know a prostate from a podiatrist and still don't know to manicure their nails to avoid a misjerk during your super dee duper special intimate times.

whoever you are married to when you are 40 is not going to be as physically attractive as some fresh young thing in their 20s, but the attraction you have to your partner is supposed to be built on emotional foundations as well as physical ones. it sounds like you just have a very difficult time actually truly involving yourself emotionally based on some of the things you said in the thread so far. seriously, talking about how you could just scrap one relationship and start over? it sounds like you really think a whole host of compatible women are growing in a magical woman orchard in your front yard or something. spoilers: pouty lips, long legs, pretty eyes, or other features you find intoxicating do not a good babymama or life partner make. it also sounds like you are genuinely led around by your penis to a good degree. yes, you have a tendency to romanticize your attractions to random women, but you are reducing those women to their body parts; you are not truly attracted to them as women or people.

i think you need to define what your actual priorities are. what qualities other than pouty lips and pretty bodies are actually important to you in a partner? what is make or break for you? are you sure those things are non-negotiable? i know a lot of people who say truly fucking stupid things about how they could never be with a woman who doesn't like a particular artist or movie, but the truth is that my husband likes soulja boy tellem (in before what's wrong with that? like you don't fucking know) and he is also the one who has been here to help me plan for my mom's elderly care, my aunt's funeral, etc.

you say you want your potentially future wifey to be popping out babies by the time y'all are 31, but is that because you actually have a desire for children in the very near future or are you submitting to the ticking of your biological clock? is this really a dependable woman, and do you really think that's such a common virtue that you would have no problem kicking her to the curb and picking up some new bitch who you assume would do all the same things? there should be some kind of feeling there that this person in some way goes beyond what you would expect.

as for polyamory:
Health-Relationships Grand Opening: A Beginners’ Guide to Open Relationships
Health-Relationships Blind Faith: When Polyamory Doesn’t Work Out

most of the people i've known in open relationships are only using it to experience something new, to learn about themselves, to overcome jealousy, and/or to experiment. i have yet to meet a person who is in a happy, seemingly functional, VD-free, long term open relationship. shit just does not last. while i don't think we are necessarily coded to stay with one person for life, i truly truly believe we are not predisposed to be with more than one person at a time. jealousy is a reality, and it's the ultimate love and relationship killer. jealousy just feeds into resentment, and if you can't reconcile that with the person you're with, it will pretty easily fuck up your relationship. you can't really enjoy being with someone you're perpetually angry with, even if the anger is on a low boil. but, like i said, i've known a couple of people who tried to use polyamory to dismantle, understand, and ultimately overcome their jealousy but it really did not work out well for most involved.

i think it's probably a more tedious arrangement than plain monogamy, because you are bringing a third (or fourth, or fifth) person into your arrangement who may have opinions on and desire input about your boundaries. negotiating the terms of your relationship to allow for all of the complications that come up seems like an intense amount of work. many people can't even put in the work to make it with one person, so i would think the chances of a functional relationship with a total three or more people is substantially reduced. it's not ever going to be as simple as having a working relationship with one woman while you go out and put your dick in whoever you like. also, read that second article. would you be able to cope with your woman going out and trolling for dick, or are you just looking for a way to dip your pen in all the ink?

yeah my sex drive has slowed down, once a week due to schedule stuff and the fact we don't live together anymore/I work nights. So yeah it's weekend sex and I'm not dying or anything but sweet christ I crank it like a motherfucker during the week.

I of course know the importance of an experienced lover, I know all my girl's spots, she knows mine. I can haul off and grab her titties in the car, smack 'em and make 'em shake, take her by the nipple and just fuckin play with them, full out objectify her and she doesn't care/enjoys it. Some girls will do that fucking whiny "uhhhuueeeeuhhhh -- dooooon't" Times in between us going out I went with girls who didn't give head/didn't want me to go down on them SEEYA, that will never ever fly, waste of a perfectly good girl. Kiro knows what's up.

Physical attraction is.. a delicate issue. I'm attracted to my partner in a different way. I love her whole body, I really do. She's self conscious and says I don't look like that girl or that girl, but that's fine with me, I celebrate her uniqueness and have explained to her my meaning of chubby which is actually a good thing. Nice soft curves at the hips and tummy, none of this jutty hip bones and shit making uncomfortable angles in sex. My girl can take a beating in bed and I've always appreciated that. Some of these fit bitches look great in clothes but they might have saggy boobs or weird nipples or a crinkly vagina, some stank going on that they don't know to fucking fix. Everything's gravy with she and I.

I mean honestly, what am I gonna do? fuck 'em all like pokemon? Obviously not. I think it's more what I was concerned about before, with that 100% business. How I don't know that I can comfortably be a 1 woman man, or rather, that the woman I'm with doesn't give me that same unquestioning "I don't want anyone else, even though they're ho ton some level, have some kind of emotional appeal". Maybe it's all the partners I've had. I'm no player but I've had 6-7+ long temr relationships, and some 2-3 month ones that flet like long terms. I've got at least 3 girls who I knew through university that I am sincerely disappointed that things never started. It was easier to love that First Love cuz she was all I knew, but also set an extremely high bar.

How do these new girls live up to this? How do I let that go? 10 years later and I can't walk through a couple parts of town without going all Holden Caulfield and just staring and trying not to freak out.

As far as priorities go, my girl's got 'em all as best as I can put my finger on it. She's sitting at a cool 92-95%+ Then there's those things I can't quite put my finger on. Someone mentioned 'that spark', a phrase I very much try to avoid, because it's so fucking intangible yet so tantalizing. I want that first look, that eye catch, that muse, that fascination, that obsession even. I had that before, with my first -- the thrill of me being 18 and her 15, that small taboo. The shared joy of not rock songs, not alternative or hip hop -- but specifically sad songs. I f I could point out adifficulty with that relationship and what led to its weakening, was the lack of friendship in the foundation, it was almost exclusively romantic from the start. My curren tgf and I very much have a friendship and at times that's all I want from her, the sex having faded somewhat, the mystery become comfort.

Actually scratch that -- one thing that's always secretly and not-so-secretly bothered me was the lack of mystery, the lack of chase, but I believe I mentioned that previously.


for my desires for the future, kids etc, it's not that I want to have kids so soon, if I had my way I'd wait 3+ years, probably 5, although I do want to have some energy in me to play with my kids, I don't want to be 50 when they're 10. So to answer your question, yeah I very much think I am submitting to the ticking of her biological clock, and I suppose indirectly my own clock and how active I'll be when they're growing up.

as for polyamory I'll have to read those articles later on; in all honesty I don't think this is the route I'd be taking as I can guarantee it won't jive with this current relationship, and any starting over would open up a whole new set of options for me and ideally I'd find myself a nice little 100% girl but I think it's become quite clear to anyone reading this that with my criss crossing desires there couldn't possibly be a 100% girl and the one I had was merely my 1/1, not 100%




lastly thank you very much ivve, I definitely appreciate the indepth response

[Kuya]

howie, why shouldi read that post of yours?

[Howard Roark]

but i know howard will read it, idc about anyone else wading through that

I quoted this line because both Ivve and I have rather substantial replies that most are not going to read in entirety and that is A-OK

[Shiroikage]

howie, why shouldi read that post of yours?

It is howie.

[Kuya]

I don't know. Howie's tastes and opinions are dubious.

[Howard Roark]

aren't everyone's lol?


conversely if everyone is in agreement, isn't that dubious in itself?