Seriously how does a guy stay with just one woman?

[Kuya]

Anyway, i think i should look into this jealousy thing, because i am wondering up to what degree does jealousy in a situation where you are sharing someone you are intimate with is some sort of "natural" reaction or a mediated one. The questions that i should probably ask myself are: are people jealous of the same things? are people jealous to the same degree? If the answer to the last two questions is yes, then why are people jealous of different things and why are they jealous to different degrees? To what degree is jealousy tied into fear of losing someone, and can jealousy in a situation where one shares someone else be attributed to the same issue that makes it so you prefer monogamous relationships? In other words, does one prefer monogamous relationships, explicitly or implicitly, because one wishes to avoid jealousy, or does one choose monogamous relationships for the same reasons one would be very jealous in a non monogamous relationship? Is jealousy mediated at all?

I think it's time i got my science on.

[Kuya]

you are hairless like a chihuahua

You are strange, tyven.

[tyven]

you dont have to manscape, you are so lucky

[Alleya]

Anyway, i think i should look into this jealousy thing, because i am wondering up to what degree does jealousy in a situation where you are sharing someone you are intimate with is some sort of "natural" reaction or a mediated one. The questions that i should probably ask myself are: are people jealous of the same things? are people jealous to the same degree? If the answer to the last two questions is yes, then why are people jealous of different things and why are they jealous to different degrees? To what degree is jealousy tied into fear of losing someone, and can jealousy in a situation where one shares someone else be attributed to the same issue that makes it so you prefer monogamous relationships? In other words, does one prefer monogamous relationships, explicitly or implicitly, because one wishes to avoid jealousy, or does one choose monogamous relationships for the same reasons one would be very jealous in a non monogamous relationship? Is jealousy mediated at all?

I think it's time i got my science on.

Have you read the evolutionary arguments surrounding the concept of parental investment? It's a very compelling argument. Check out The Moral Animal by Robert Wright.

[tyven]

Anyway, i think i should look into this jealousy thing, because i am wondering up to what degree does jealousy in a situation where you are sharing someone you are intimate with is some sort of "natural" reaction or a mediated one. The questions that i should probably ask myself are: are people jealous of the same things? are people jealous to the same degree? If the answer to the last two questions is yes, then why are people jealous of different things and why are they jealous to different degrees? To what degree is jealousy tied into fear of losing someone, and can jealousy in a situation where one shares someone else be attributed to the same issue that makes it so you prefer monogamous relationships? In other words, does one prefer monogamous relationships, explicitly or implicitly, because one wishes to avoid jealousy, or does one choose monogamous relationships for the same reasons one would be very jealous in a non monogamous relationship? Is jealousy mediated at all?

I think it's time i got my science on.

ive been jealous twice, it was mad gay

[Charismatic]

idk, it would be very easy to for me to stay with just one woman. np.

[Kuya]

Evolutionary psychology does not really interest me. Though i suppose i should still read it.

Anyway, if i were to start a study, i should probably try to answer the basic questions even if they do seem obvious. Probably use a combination of comparative case studies to see where people differentiate in terms of what makes them jealous. And use psychometric scales to meassure degrees of jealousy. Hmm, i think i'll go look into this.

[Ivve]

i don't feel like my choice to be in a monogamous relationship was influenced by jealousy at all, but now that we have defined the terms of our relationship in a particular way for a number of years, i would not be interested in changing those terms and some of them have created areas of jealousy that did not exist before.

[Charismatic]

For some reason or another... I do not feel the need to mack all the bitches.
I think it is all about your upbringing rather than nature in this instance.

...or maybe I'm just off in the head.

[Charismatic]

No, I know I'm off in the head. That's probably it.

[Charismatic]

Maybe I should actually read the current conversation that is going on in here........ nah.

[Alleya]

Evolutionary psychology does not really interest me. Though i suppose i should still read it.

Anyway, if i were to start a study, i should probably try to answer the basic questions even if they do seem obvious. Probably use a combination of comparative case studies to see where people differentiate in terms of what makes them jealous. And use psychometric scales to meassure degrees of jealousy. Hmm, i think i'll go look into this.

Well it's true the evolutionary stuff is more of an explanation of why it exists and not necessarily how it works. Basically the whole thing breaks down to a genetic cost/benefit analysis. Women obviously want maximum investment from a genetically desirable partner, but she also needs to get the resources she needs to survive while making babies. Men want to impregnate as many women as possible, but they also have a vested interest in sticking around to make sure their offspring survive and grow up to pass on their own genes. Thus you get cuckoldry with women where they will try to procure investment from a resourceful man while having kids with more genetically desirable men, and adultery in males where they will attempt to procure solitary devotion from one woman in order to hedge their bets with the kid while also trying to impregnate more women to improve their chances.

Personally I think the emotions surrounding relationships and monogamy are the disturbances caused by those genetic pulls. It also explains why some people have no problems with monogamy while others simply can't help themselves fucking other people--both strategies are successful. Which side you come out on has a lot to do with genes.

[tyven]

No, I know I'm off in the head. That's probably it.

you met the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with on a final fantasy message board. i would say you are an anomaly

[Kuya]

Another interesting research question would be using historiography to determine whether nonmonogamy in human relationships ever existed, if it did exist: what was it used for, how did it function and what consequences followed from it, how many types of nonmonogamous relationships existed, what were their relationships to monogamous relationships. Of course, this all requires that we also have some accepted understanding of monogamy, and assuming there exists only one kind of monogamy. It might be also prudent to investigate monogamy and what explicit reasons were used to justify it, what practical results it provided, whose interets they served as well as what institutions it is linked to. It would probably be more relevant to start with Europe.

[Kuya]

Well it's true the evolutionary stuff is more of an explanation of why it exists and not necessarily how it works. Basically the whole thing breaks down to a genetic cost/benefit analysis. Women obviously want maximum investment from a genetically desirable partner, but she also needs to get the resources she needs to survive while making babies. Men want to impregnate as many women as possible, but they also have a vested interest in sticking around to make sure their offspring survive and grow up to pass on their own genes. Thus you get cuckoldry with women where they will try to procure investment from a resourceful man while having kids with more genetically desirable men, and adultery in males where they will attempt to procure solitary devotion from one woman in order to hedge their bets with the kid while also trying to impregnate more women to improve their chances.

Personally I think the emotions surrounding relationships and monogamy are the disturbances caused by those genetic pulls. It also explains why some people have no problems with monogamy while others simply can't help themselves fucking other people--both strategies are successful. Which side you come out on has a lot to do with genes.

Bleh, biological determenism.

[Alleya]

It's not determinism. No one argues that the only reason we do these things is because of evolution, just that our evolutionary past greatly impacts how we conceptualize these things today.

Would adultery and cuckoldry be such huge taboos for no reason at all? Why have any emotion associated with it?

[Charismatic]

you met the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with on a final fantasy message board. i would say you are an anomaly

idk how that's different from meeting anywhere else... people are people no matter where you meet them.

[Xpression]

In response to the OP.

You get committed to having a family as apposed to getting pussy, even if "family" looks like just you and her.

I'm 28 too, and I'm slowly starting to understand why people stay together.

[tyven]

idk how that's different from meeting anywhere else... people are people no matter where you meet them.

i dont even want to get into that creepy aspect

[tyven]

the reason you are an exception chari is cuz while people have trouble settling down you have declared yourself a one woman man and that woman is someone from the internet that you cant physically be with.