NFL Week 5: Seagulling

[Tyche]

Urban Dictionary: seagulling

I deem this an appropriate title being this is one shitty week of NFL football. Atlanta @ San Francisco and possibly the Monday game are the only one's even remotely intriguing to me.

Cleveland at Buffalo (-6) - Buffalo is coming off of an embarrassing loss to Miami last week where they allowed almost 200 rushing yards between Williams and Brown. Cleveland is coming off of four weeks of embarrassing losses, and traded away one of the few players that posses an inkling of talent. I have to believe that Buffalo is going to rebound simply because Dick Jauron is a good coach. At least I like to think he is . Buffalo to win, Cleveland +6.

Dallas at Kansas City (+8.5) - Let's define the Dallas Cowboys. We have a team with an average quarterback, a below average receiving corp, and an above average running back trio that cannot stay healthy. Of course, KC is much much worse. Missouri should just give up football altogether. I love Dallas to completely roll KC in this game. Dallas -8.5.

Minnesota at St. Louis (+9.5) - Noone is going to read anything about this game, so I can simply reserve this spot to type a bunch of meaningless bullshit. I love toast and strawberry jam. I also make a hell of an omelet. This morning I had powdered doughnuts for breakfast. Minnesota wins, St. Louis +9.5.

Oakland at NY Giants (-16) - So, McFadden is out for a little while, allowing UL alum and beastly RB Michael Bush to step to the helm. This kid is a damn good RB, and would have been drafted much higher had it not been for a season ending injury in college. I don't expect Eli to play the whole game. Plantars sucks and fucking hurts. While I don't have access to the best doctors and PTs that money can buy, I can't imagine anyone recovering in a week. The G-men are going to win, but I think Oakland can keep it to two TDs with the Giants sitting Eli as soon as they get a decent lead.

Tampa Bay at Philadelphia (-15) - Holy shit, these spreads are huge. I've never seen a week with such large point lines. I'm not even going to pretend that I've watched a Tampa game this year, but I know enough to know that they're terrible. I also know that Westbrook is set to return this week. This is the 2nd largest point spread in a week of large point spreads. I'll take Philly to win and cover the large spread.

Pittsburgh at Detroit (-10.5) - Pitt goes up by 43 points going into the 4th quarter and Stafford completes a 3 kilometer pass to Calvin Johnson to tie the game. At least that's seemingly the Modus Operandi of the Steelers. Pitt cannot and will not lose this game. Despite the slow start, they're only a game behind in the division race. Baltimore is heavily favored in their game, so Pitt should feel the urgency. I think that'll translate into the defense stepping up. Pitt to cover.

Washington at Carolina (-3.5) - Go figure, the first seemingly competitive game involves the Redskins and Clutch. How appropriate. The good games are the ones where the winner is the team who manages to make the most plays, this game has few playmakers, so it will depend on who makes the least mistakes. Fantastic. The most interesting aspect to this game is going to be the backlash we get from the fans and media around the losing team. Carolina to cover.

Cincinnati at Baltimore (-8.5) - Baltimore's offense has looked pretty damn good against some abysmal defenses. Cinci's defense has looked pretty damn good against some abysmal offenses. What's going to give? I think a little bit of both. I think both teams are going to manage to put up some points, with Baltimore eeking out a win. They were a dropped pass away from beating New England last week. I'll give Cinci the benefit of keeping it close. Cinci +8.5.

Atlanta at San Francisco (-2.5) - The day of reckoning has arrived. It reminds me of this famous ending line to "The Stand".

"Life was such a wheel that no man could stand upon it for long. And it always, at the end, came round to the same place again."

It was only a matter of time before the niners...well...mattered. They have finally signed what we assume to be a playmaker. According to what I've read, the niners will file a two week extension before bumping a player off the team to allow him on the rosters. So he'll likely be out for a few weeks, and possibly look to start later this month. I love love love the Niners in this game, and to cover the small spread.

Jacksonville at Seattle (+3) - We finally seen a flash of brilliance from the Jags last week. They were never expected to be very good, or even competitive in the division. The other three teams in the division have been picked by /someone/ to win the division. If JAX plays like they did last week however, they'll break a few hearts. With that said, it's tough to play in Qwest field. I like Seattle to pull the mild upset.

Houston at Arizona (-5.5) - I really think Vegas is just riding the Cardinals a little too hard. Sure, Arizona is apparently tough to beat at home, but they just aren't playing that well this year. Houston has recently been finding their groove that many of us thought they would hit earlier this season. I love Houston to win this game outright.

New England at Denver (+3) - This game should scare the hell out of you if you're a Pats fan. You're only favored by three against a Denver team that wasn't that good, and is the most underappreciated 4-0 team in recent memory. To be fair, Denver has beaten up on some VERY average offenses. Even Dallas without their stars at RB wasn't an offensive threat at all. I think the public will fade probably 90%+ to the Pats on this line, and that should scary. Still, how the hell do you go against New England in this game? New England to cover.

Indianapolis at Tennessee (+3.5)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfVJ11GXzXQ

This video is relevant for many reasons. One, any post-season hopes that the Titans had are going to be sailing right away with this week's game. The shit that welt will make up is going to be sooooo deep, that we're going to need a boat to float in it. Indi is going to rip up that weak ass secondary. It's going to take a lot more than 3.5.

MON, OCT 12

NY Jets at Miami (+1.5) - Home underdogs are 2-0 against the spread thus far this year, including Miami covering their spread. I've preached this before, Home underdogs almost always play extremely well on a big stage. I see no reason to go against the rule this week. While I cannot see Miami rushing for 200 yards again this week, I see no reason why the Fins cannot maintain themselves in this game. The Miami defense has been really good against the run. They'll make Sanchez try to win this game. We'll have to see how fast their newly acquired wideout learns the offense. Miami to win.

Relevant Stats:

Last week:
Against the spread: 7-7
Strait Up: 12-2

On The Year:
Against the spread: 28-33-1
Strait Up: 43-19

[Tyche]

up we go!

[Null]

Yay, although the main one I wanted to read you didn't say anything about the game .

Am I the only that reads what Tyche write on every game?

[Chun Liroy]

I totally though the thread title was for Bobby Carpenter

[Abandon]

i do, to anyone within earshot.

[Tyche]

It was, I just wanted to use the urban dictionary reference. I've tried to title based off a quote from the prior week.

[Mizango]

Finally Carolina has a gimme.

[Mizango]

GO CHIEFS! Hopefully Cassel will get benched in favor of Croyle and the Chiefs wont look back.

[Headspace]

Zorns offense is going to explode this week.

[tyven]

Finally Carolina has a gimme.

malcolm kelly gonna make you eat those words pussy. welcome to 0-4

[QuePsiXI]

I LOVE Ocarina of Time Flow. My iPod consists of GANGSTA GRIZZIL, Mary Mary, rap from all over the place, some R&B, a few jazz, some old school, this, and Ochocinco Hustle and Flow. Man I love that song.

I really don't have any football relevant commentary except that if we can't even scrape a win this Sunday...[end of sentence here].

[Headspace]

Seriously though Tyche, how can Cincinnati @ Baltimore not be intriguing to you? Two 3-1 teams battle for first place and Cincinnati's going for 3-0 in the division.

Come off your faggot dolphins and ride this train.

[tyven]

to be fair, tyche referred to dick jauron as a good coach. he is not the smartest NFL fan in the world

[Demosthenes11]

baltimore was not a dropped pass away from a win.
a dropped pass and 15 yards maybe

been away on vacation the last 2 weeks so I'm excited to get back in the swing of things this week. Shame no good games on really lol

[Headspace]

Baltimore were refs away from winning.

[Rydir]

Cleveland @ Buffalo
Dallas @ Kansas City
Minnesota @ St. Louis
Oakland @ NY Giants
Tampa Bay @ Philadelphia
Pittsburgh @ Detroit
Washington @ Carolina
Cincinnati @ Baltimore
Atlanta @ San Francisco
Jacksonville @ Seattle
Houston @ Arizona
New England @ Denver
Indianapolis @ Tennessee
NY Jets @ Miami


On The Year:
Strait Up: 45-17

[Demosthenes11]

Baltimore were refs away from winning.

bengals are a miracle away from 4-0
HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW

[Tyche]

I said I'd like to think Jauron is a good coach. Maybe it's just because I like the guy

[Lbelle]

I can't decide to if I should pick Redskins or Carolina.

[Mizango]

bengals are a miracle away from 4-0
HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW

Jesus preforms miracles every Sunday.