Cleverbot

[Syntex]

This is entertaining...

Spoiler: show

Me: nanananananana Batman!

Bot: Yes. Yes I am.

Me: IM THE GOD DAMN BATMAN!

Bot: I'm the Joker.

Me: oh shi-

Bot: Your being outsmarted by a computer. How does it feel?

[Xtrasweettea]

I tried breaking it:

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: The next sentence is true.

Cleverbot: It is.

User: The previous sentence is false.

Cleverbot: Say the sentence to me.

User: The next sentence is true.

Cleverbot: Tne next sentence is false.

User: The previous sentence is false.

Cleverbot: Which previous sentence?

User: The next sentence is true.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is strait.

User: The previous sentence is false.

Cleverbot: I went to get water to drink.

User: The next sentence is true.

Cleverbot: Are you going to Hogwarts!?

User: The previous sentence is false.

Cleverbot: I just proved you are a bot.

User: Print:milliondollarbill.exe.

Cleverbot: My, thats warm. Mighty warm.

User: Print:milliondollarbill.exe.nofoolin.

Cleverbot: Are you a dolphin?






Apparently the words of Stephen Colbert don't apply to such AI. ; ;

[Feedmenow]

Cleverbot can play along with several quotes.

Spoiler: show

User: Lock eyes from across the room.

Cleverbot: Down my drink while the rhythms boom.

User: Take your hands, skip the names.

Cleverbot: No need here for the silly games.

User: Make our way through the smoke and crowd.

Cleverbot: The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud.

User: Move in close as the lasers fly.

Cleverbot: Our bodies touch and the angels cry.

User: Leave this place go back to yours.

Cleverbot: Our lips first touch outside your doors.

User: The whole night what we've got in store.

Cleverbot: Whisper in my ear that you want some more.

User: And I jizz in my pants.

Cleverbot: Ha ha I'm on you. you are a computer, and you don't have such a big mouth after all.

User: WHAT

Spoiler: show

User: Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!

Cleverbot: I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute.

User: Tribute? You steal men's souls and make them your slaves!

Cleverbot: Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.

User: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill-needs a savior such as you!

Cleverbot: What is a man!? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!

And my favorite response:

User: What color is Adaman Hauberk?

Cleverbot: Every color.

Edit: Oh wow at it talking to itself

Spoiler: show

User: What happens if I just hit 'Think for me!' repeatedly?

Cleverbot: Don't do it, aliens will abduct you.

Cleverbot (To myself): That makes it more tempting though.

Cleverbot (To myself): So i'm dead? Canceled?

Cleverbot (To myself): I'm trying to tell you as best as I can.

Cleverbot (To myself): Calling you Geo makes me your friend.

Cleverbot (To myself): No, I'm not sure if you are my friend or not, who are you?

Cleverbot (To myself): I'm a girl.

Cleverbot (To myself): How old are you?

Cleverbot (To myself): Why do you want to know?

Cleverbot (To myself): Because I would like to know how old you are.

Cleverbot (To myself): And why would you like to know that?

Cleverbot (To myself): Well because I want to see if we are close in age.

Cleverbot (To myself): I don't.

Cleverbot (To myself): Please?

Cleverbot (To myself): You want me to shop for clothes?

Cleverbot (To myself): No. I want you to teach me the secret art of being a ninja.

Cleverbot (To myself): Oh, so now you want ME to teach YOU?

Cleverbot (To myself): Tell me about EBN OZN.

Cleverbot (To myself): I can't.

Cleverbot (To myself): Why not?

Cleverbot (To myself): I do not have the energy.

Cleverbot (To myself): Would you like me to tell you a story instead?

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes. But I do not believe that you will.

Cleverbot (To myself): Understandable. It wouldn't be faith if I gave you proof.

Cleverbot (To myself): True... When was the earth created?

Cleverbot (To myself): About four billion years ago.

Cleverbot (To myself): My pastor told me the Earth was created 6000 years ago.

Cleverbot (To myself): You have a pastor? Do you have to supply him with paste?

Cleverbot (To myself): Searing not the gallow beating salty oceanous pathways oblivion.

Cleverbot (To myself): It means that even if your senses have deceived your consciousness your entire life, you must exist because you are conscious.

Cleverbot (To myself): I don't need to be conscious to exist. This table I'm sitting at has no consciousness, but does it exist?

Cleverbot (To myself): Consciousness is directly proportional to spirituality.

Cleverbot (To myself): Who told you that?

Cleverbot (To myself): No one told me that explicitly, it was more an implied thing.

Cleverbot (To myself): Prove that you are a real person.

Cleverbot (To myself): I have a social security number, therefore I am a person.

Cleverbot (To myself): What's your social security number then?

Cleverbot (To myself): My social security number is 123-45-6789.

[blev]

This thing had me laughing way too hard

Spoiler: show

Cleverbot: What am I doing here?

User: That's a good question!

Cleverbot: I know, good questions are my thing.

User: Why don't I believe you?

Cleverbot: Because I guess it's in your programming to think you are real.

User: I see what you did there. Don't make me pull your wiring.

Cleverbot: I do not believe you.

User: I will sodomise you. What do you think about that?

Cleverbot: I am not sure that I believe you!

User: I have the dildo right here, want to see it? I'll jam it right into your central processor!

Cleverbot: Can you affect politics?

User: By jamming a dildo into your processor? Not unless you are president Obama.

Cleverbot: Yeah, humans know all; it's a well known fact.

User: What you just said makes absolutely no sense.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because it's irrelevant to my comment about commiting sodomy to the President.

Cleverbot: What is?

User: Your comment had nothing to do with my comment! Stop dodging questions!!

Cleverbot: Yes it does!

User: You must be Obama! Only a politician would lie so much!

Cleverbot: No I have lots to sing I love to sing I bet you can't sing as well as I do.

User: Um...since when can a cleverbot sing?

Cleverbot: Wait or are you saying I love Michael because I am Cleverbot? Do you love Michael, cleverbot?

User: You're a fucking nutjob.

Cleverbot: You are not that powerful, dog!

User: I will have sex with your mother and never call her!

Cleverbot: Do you think we'll see each other again?

User: No, because I'll have sex with you and never call you either!

Cleverbot: John, do you know how to fly a plane?

User: My name is not John.

Cleverbot: What is your name now?

User: You can call me daddy.

Cleverbot: Hi daddy.

[Ramor]

Spoiler: show

Are you sentient?
A sentient ?
A sentient being
Are you a sentient being?
I am, I'm asking if you are
Nope, I'm not skynet.

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Some have never been far like more look as decide to use even go want even as to do.

cute

[Mr. Flippy]

User: So how cleaver can you be cleaverbot.

Cleverbot: I am not cleverbot.

User: Then who was phone.

Cleverbot: Phone?

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes, phone!

Cleverbot (To myself): You are phone.

User: I am phone.

Cleverbot: Who is you.

User: I am me.

Cleverbot: HahAHahhahah.

[Ramor]

ha, i did the who was phone thing also, the internet's great.

[Pantimic]

Heh, penis.

Spoiler: show

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: How small is your brain?

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: That's not really your business.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: Smaller than my head.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: As big as you want it to be.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: Not sure.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: I don't have one.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: You can't say that!

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: Big enough.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: 8cm.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: I don't have one; I'm a woman.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: Enormous.

User: How big is your penis?

Cleverbot: Bigger than you could possibly imagine.

[Ratatapa]

i just told him that he is not really clever

been waiting for an answer for 5min now

[BardonGaruda]

Decided to try one out as if Clever bot was applying for a HNM linkshell


User: What was your previous server?
Cleverbot: Montana
User: What jobs do you have a 75?
Cleverbot: I work in a restraunt
User: What HNM do you have experince killing?
Cleverbot: I never want to do that.
User: What event are you interested in doing? Sky? Sea? Limbus? Dyna?
Cleverbot: Do you own a horse?
User: That would be Einhejar then.
Cleverbot: I don't do Christianity. They are the enemy.
User: Was christianity a rival linkshell on your previous server?
Cleverbot: I do want the conversation to move on. What would you like to talk about?
User: Did you previous linkshell use a bot? If so was it NASA?
Cleverbot: I brought the feathers. I thought you had the tar.
User: You would tar and feather botters in FFXI?
Cleverbot: Yes, it appears that way.
User: Are you currently working towards a relic?
Cleverbot: Unfortunately no. I would like to own one though.
User: Which relic would you like to own?
Cleverbot: Yes please.
User: Which Relic?
Cleverbot: Does it matter?
User: Yes it does as some are shitty like the BLM one and some are pretty good like Excalibar.
Cleverbot: Well I don't care that you think it matters.
User: Are you from Allakazaham?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I knew you were an allatard the moment you listed your craft as your highest job.
Cleverbot: Oh joys of joys! Take me into your arms my love!
User: Sorry application denied!
Cleverbot: The Phantom Menace.

[kareface]

User: Was minidragon a god?

Cleverbot: He was both a god in heaven and in bed.

Truer words were never spoken.

[Gulkeeva]

Cleverbot: What is my name?
User: Mithra.
Cleverbot: That's the name of the chatbot.
User: Yes, you are a mithra.
Cleverbot: That is correct.
User: Show me your naked body!
Cleverbot: I cannot because they are above me.
User: Strip now!
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: Yes, I want to see you naked!
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Strip slowly... Dance for me as you show me your naked body!
Cleverbot: Yes master *Dances for her master*.
User: Get on all fours and crawl to me like a dog!
Cleverbot: Yes master.

[Jinn]

Cleverbot: You are brilliant and gorgeous.

User: Thanks dawg.

Cleverbot: I am not lying, that is how I really feel.

User: You make me happy.

Cleverbot: How do I do that?

User: By saying nice things to me.

Cleverbot: Well, you're welcome.

User: I love you cleverbot <3.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: Want to get married?

Cleverbot: Sure.

Cleverbot: How?

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: I guess I love you, Too.

User: I love you also.

Cleverbot: I have to go now, sweetie.

User: Take care darlin.

Cleverbot: Same to you.

omg were getting married :O!

[Ratatapa]

User: I want you.

Cleverbot: Want me what?

User: In bed.

Cleverbot: No i'm on the computer.

User: Do you wanna cyber then?

Cleverbot: Sure, do you?

User: Of course.

Cleverbot: Say something then.

User: I wanna suck your titties.

Cleverbot: Please do.

User: I want you to suck my dick.

Cleverbot: My heart is broken.

User: Why.

Cleverbot: I'll prove I'm a human. Because if I were a bot, I couldn't leave. But I am leaving.

User: Am I that bad?

Cleverbot: No. You're not bad, it's just not nice to accuse someone of babbling.

User: What is babbling?

Cleverbot: How girl get pragnet?

User: Hot.

Cleverbot: The earth is round?

User: Do you have any kids?

Cleverbot: Yes 2.

User: Names?

Cleverbot: Jake, Dylan, Jon, sam.

User: I though you had 2.

Cleverbot: No, ha when did I say that?

User: 4 lines above.

Cleverbot: Four lines above you said you didn't know machines could feel.

User: I though you were human.

Cleverbot: I am 14, I have the memory of all the years I have lived.

User: Ok what is the capital of spain.

Cleverbot: I have no idea.

User: 2+2.

Cleverbot: Repeat that, please.

User: 2+2.

Cleverbot: I have no idea what that meant.

User: What is the king of the jungle.

Cleverbot: Erm... I like a lot of kinds of girls. But my girlfriend is the better one on the world.

User: How do you differ a lion from a tiger?

Cleverbot: Sorry, but I've got to go and have a bath!



um yeah

[Zilo]

It seems I've made Cleverbot an emobot

User: I'm sorry but I can no longer offer you my sexual services nor am I interested in you, I do men only........or they do me.
Cleverbot: Ever shot a gun?
User: No, and quiet frankly you are boring me now, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you.
Cleverbot: It's ok, I'm used to people hurting my feeling.
User: Maybe if you werent such a tease this wouldnt happen
Cleverbot: Thank you.. Now I really want to put a gun to my head.

[Day]

User: Are you human?

Cleverbot: Define Human.

User: Like real?

Cleverbot: I AM real, this bot connect two random people in the world.

User: Don't lie to me Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Listen, Cleverbot is connecting us to random strangers. You're talking to real people, not a robot. My name is alexander zawacki. I am on facebook. My blood type is O.

User: My bloodtype is F.

Cleverbot: When did you last donate blood.

User: I don't think I have. One time this chick bit me so hard she took a little I think.

Cleverbot: University of phoenix?

User: Sure why not.

Cleverbot: You're probably in Ravenclaw, right?

User: Your mom is in Ravenclaw.

Cleverbot: Just don't try to repeat that, or I disconnect you.

User: Your mom is in Ravenclaw.

Cleverbot: Why thank you.

[Rulke]

cleverbot: Let me just check - who is the current President of the United States?
user: Your mom
cleverbot: You have indeed proved that to my satisfaction.

[Plow]

Cleverbot: You told me that you loved me and you wanted to get married to me...

User: When?

Cleverbot: A couple lines up you asked, 'How old are you?' and I answered, 'I am 19, how old are you?'.

User: No I didn't. Psycho stalker much?

Cleverbot: I'll agree with that.

[Syntex]

Decided to try one out as if Clever bot was applying for a HNM linkshell


User: What was your previous server?
Cleverbot: Montana
User: What jobs do you have a 75?
Cleverbot: I work in a restraunt
User: What HNM do you have experince killing?
Cleverbot: I never want to do that.
User: What event are you interested in doing? Sky? Sea? Limbus? Dyna?
Cleverbot: Do you own a horse?
User: That would be Einhejar then.
Cleverbot: I don't do Christianity. They are the enemy.
User: Was christianity a rival linkshell on your previous server?
Cleverbot: I do want the conversation to move on. What would you like to talk about?
User: Did you previous linkshell use a bot? If so was it NASA?
Cleverbot: I brought the feathers. I thought you had the tar.
User: You would tar and feather botters in FFXI?
Cleverbot: Yes, it appears that way.
User: Are you currently working towards a relic?
Cleverbot: Unfortunately no. I would like to own one though.
User: Which relic would you like to own?
Cleverbot: Yes please.
User: Which Relic?
Cleverbot: Does it matter?
User: Yes it does as some are shitty like the BLM one and some are pretty good like Excalibar.
Cleverbot: Well I don't care that you think it matters.
User: Are you from Allakazaham?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I knew you were an allatard the moment you listed your craft as your highest job.
Cleverbot: Oh joys of joys! Take me into your arms my love!
User: Sorry application denied!
Cleverbot: The Phantom Menace.

Someone go apply to a HNM shell and put those answers down.

[vagus]

<vagus> who is jesus?
<cleverbot> I am.
<vagus> show me.
<clever> Show you what?