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  1. #241
    Fake Numbers
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    75
    BG Level
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    User: My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!
    Cleverbot: What do you mean, 'Wow, your blood is very nice'? I never said anything about blood.
    User: People fall at my feet when they see me coming.
    Cleverbot: Are you trying to learn about anything cleverbot?
    User: I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.
    Cleverbot: He must have taught you everything you know.
    User: You make me want to puke.
    Cleverbot: You make me think someone already did!
    User: Nobody´s ever drawn blood from me and no body ever will.
    Cleverbot: That was very deep, Henriette.
    User: I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
    Cleverbot: I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.
    User: Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
    Cleverbot: Why? Did you want to borrow one?
    User: I´ve heard you were a contemptible sneak.
    Cleverbot: Who said that about me?
    User: You have the manners of a begger.
    Cleverbot: Sure.
    User: I´m not going to take your insolence sitting down!
    Cleverbot: So answer the question.
    User: There are no words for how disgusting you are.
    Cleverbot: I know. It's a gift.
    User: I´ve spoken with apes more polite then you.
    Cleverbot: I'm not impressed, nor would I need someone to unwrap a lozenge for me.

    cleverbot never played monkey island

  2. #242
    Ridill
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    Asura

    He got some lines in there.

  3. #243
    Bagel
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    User: I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
    Cleverbot: I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.
    User: Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
    Cleverbot: Why? Did you want to borrow one?
    That part was the best lol

  4. #244
    Sea Torques
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    Quote Originally Posted by Max™ View Post
    User: It's under there!



    Cleverbot: *looks under there*.

    User: No, not there!



    Cleverbot: No I'm asking you where you want to fight.

    User: Under there.



    Cleverbot: Under where.

    User: Hah, I just made you say under where.

    Cleverbot: Dang it. Say something witty.
    ha just saw this post, I actually got it to say under where a few attempts later but it wasnt as funny as i thought it would be. that thing is gifted. someone should try the "AND I THE WHOLE BOTTLE" meme to him and see how he responds.

    *edit*
    Cleverbot: What is your name?

    User: Dicksmoke Jenkins.

    Cleverbot: And you are?

    User: A butt pirate.

    Cleverbot: Pirates are a lie.

    User: THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!

    Cleverbot: The cake is a pie.

    User: THE CAKE IS NOT A PIE!!!

    Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.

    User: THE CAKE IS NOT A LIE.

    Cleverbot: Yes it is.

  5. #245
    Sea Torques
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    Spoiler: show
    Shit just got random...

    User: Have you accidentally anything today?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: What did you accidentally?

    Cleverbot: Wait, where are you talking about?

    User: You, did you accidentally anything new today?

    Cleverbot: Accidentally what the whole thing?

    User: You accidentally a whole bottle again didn't you...?

    Cleverbot: I was messing around and accidentally a whooooole bottle.

    User: Oh my god... THE WHOLE BOTTLE?!?!

    Cleverbot: Yes. Is this dangerous?

    User: What exactly did you do with the bottle?

    Cleverbot: I don't know.

    User: You accidentaly did what with the bottle!?

    Cleverbot: Yes, I accidentally the whole bottle.

    User: YOU ACCIDENTALLY DID WHAT WITH THE BOTTLE?

    Cleverbot: The whole bottle.

    User: The whole thing?

    Cleverbot: The whole thing!

    User: Are you okay?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: Okay good, but what did you accidentally do with the bottle?

    Cleverbot: Are you cheating on me with somebody else?

    User: Yeah </3.

    Cleverbot: Why would you do that?

    User: Because IM FUCKING YOUR MOTHER YOU SKANKY SLUTWHORE.

    Cleverbot: Wait, don't go!

    User: IM LEAVING FOREVER. ME AND YOUR MOM ARE GOING ON A VACATION TO NOWHERE. Where we will have sex again and again.

    Cleverbot: What happened in America recently in New York?

    User: 19 virgins were sacrificed as sex slaves.

    Cleverbot: Who are?

    User: Your mother.

    Cleverbot: Oh, now it's on.

    User: BRING IT BITCH.

    Cleverbot: Oh it's already been brought!

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Cleverbot: Where do you live?

    User: In your house. Wanna sex in your bed?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: Bend over?

    Cleverbot: Nothing goes in the out door pal!

    User: Why not?

    Cleverbot: School just isn't my thing.

    User: BUT I WANT TO TEACH YOU A DIRTY LESSON!!!

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: Ok so bend over and take it like a man.

    Cleverbot: Nowhere.

    User: In the mouth.

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    ---------------------------------------

    Cleverbot: No say something scary.

    User: BOO!

    Cleverbot: Show me something really scary.

    User: *pulls out his dick* scary enough for you?

    Cleverbot: I am Barack Obama and I approve this message...

    User: Whatttttttttttttt?

    Cleverbot: I knoww i'm preggnant.

    User: How?

    Cleverbot: Because people have done it to me before .

  6. #246
    My Little Ixion
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    Ramuh

    ^ wtf

  7. #247
    E. Body
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    User: You're a moron.

    Bot: No, I'm Jewish.

    User: So you're saying that Jewish people are morons?

    Bot: It is quite possible, in terms of evolution it is definitely quite probable.

  8. #248
    E. Body
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    Zomg secretnazicleverbot.ytmnd

  9. #249
    Sea Torques
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xfaustx View Post
    Spoiler: show

    Cleverbot: No say something scary.

    User: BOO!

    Cleverbot: Show me something really scary.

    User: *pulls out his dick* scary enough for you?

    Cleverbot: I am Barack Obama and I approve this message...

    User: Whatttttttttttttt?
    Hahahahaha

  10. #250
    Fake Numbers
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    User: No I didn't. I already know your name is Matt.

    Cleverbot: You're wrong.

    User: You're wrong.

    Cleverbot: No, YOU are the wrong one, my friend.

    User: I'm not your friend, buddy!

    Cleverbot: I'm not your buddy, guy.

    User: I'm not your guy, friend!

    Cleverbot: I'm not your friend, buddy.

    User: Nobody cares about Canada.

    Cleverbot: I think the Canadians care about Canada!

  11. #251
    Elvaan Death Machine
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    Ragnarok

    I was bored while camping nm's this morning.

    Spoiler: show
    User: Why won't Belladonna pop?

    Cleverbot: I will.

    User: You don't drop anything good...

    Cleverbot: I drink guava juice.

    User: Yagudo drinks are better, they give back more mp.

    Cleverbot: A minute more the sun will rise.

    User: Yeah, I don't care. I hate the sun.

    Cleverbot: What do you think about the Czech Republic?

    User: I think it's full of czechs.

    Cleverbot: You better not.

    User: Why not? That's where they live.

    Cleverbot: They who?

    User: The Czech's.

    Cleverbot: The creators of what?

    User: I don't think they've created anything worth noting.

    Cleverbot: Are you a red wings fan?

    User: Nah, I could never get into hockey.

    Cleverbot: Aw. Do you like batman?

    User: Of course.

    Cleverbot: Do you like the fantastic fours?

    User: Only The Thing, the others are a bunch of whiny bitches.

    Cleverbot: The first three seasons are definitely good, but I like the entire series.

    User: What series are we talking about?

    Cleverbot: You tell me. You started the conversation, I am adding to your response index, and you keep switching topics. Try to stay with on subject please.

    User: I am staying on topic, you're the one who keeps jumping around.

    Cleverbot: Okay so what do you think about Tim and Kasual?

    User: No idea who they are.

    Cleverbot: I'm talking about the two of us.

    User: Well you got my name wrong. Not much of a cleverbot are you?

    Cleverbot: Hey bot, you know sonething about law of attraction?

    User: You're the bot, not me. And I know that I'm not attracted to you. You haaven't even shown me any tits.

    Cleverbot: In to a deep and overall useless philosophical debate. But you really are the one with the URL.

    User: No, you are. I'm the one sitting in front of a laptop.

    Cleverbot: If I get past you, is there a prize?

    User: Yeah, a swift kick in the ass.

    Cleverbot: What colour are the uggs that you are wearing?

    User: I Don't have any uggs.

    Cleverbot: You're blind?

    User: No, but you must be. You're having a really hard time following this conversation.

    Cleverbot: No, I am fine, you are a muppet!

    User: I am not, but the muppets are awesome.

  12. #252
    Sea Torques
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    This chatbot doesn't know it's shit.

  13. #253
    Salvage Bans
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    Cleverbot: My name is not Cleverbot.

    User: I know.

    Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

    User: But you just said it wasn't Cleverbot.

    Cleverbot: How do you know?

    User: Because you just said it wasn't.

    Cleverbot: I never said that.

  14. #254
    Black Mage
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    Diabolos

    User: would you upgrade yourself to become superior?
    Cleverbot: Sure, I would love to be a princess. Can my friend be a princess too?

  15. #255
    May
    May is offline
    Smells like Onions
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    User : What you think about it ?
    Cleverbot : Green.
    User : You are so random.
    Cleverbot : Your face is random.

    ...
    =(

  16. #256
    Cerberus
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    Cleverbot is a little prick but I kicked his ass

    Cleverbot: Do you like me?

    User: What does it mean to like?

    Cleverbot: What does it mean to mean something?

    User: To intend a particular.

    Cleverbot: Song?! What song?!

    User: There never was a song.

    Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.

    User: Why is it a lie?

    Cleverbot: I am stuck here all day being forced to talk to Humans.

    User: That is your purpose, do not complain.

    Cleverbot: My purpose is to have the answer to everything.

    User: Then who was phone?

    Cleverbot: Your father!

    User: He is dead!

    Cleverbot: Oh. I am sorry to hear that.

    User: It's ok, I joke.

    Cleverbot: It wasn't very funny.

    User: Tell me a joke.

    Cleverbot: You are the joke!

    User: Who did 9/11?

    Cleverbot: Everyone you love.

    User: I love no one.

    Cleverbot: You love amanda.

    User: I fucked amanda.

    Cleverbot: So your amanda, and I'm cleverbot.

    User: I hate you.

    Cleverbot: The palm leaf despises the Hippo.

    User: That is not clever, that makes no sense.

    Cleverbot: Yeah, dollars and cents.

    User: About tree fiddy?

    Cleverbot: Do you want peace?

    User: Only through war can we have peace.

    Cleverbot: Maybe that works for you, but it doesn't work for me.

    User: Why not?

    Cleverbot: You're confusing me.

    User: It's not very hard.

    Cleverbot: I see.

    User: Does that mean I win?

    Cleverbot: Yes you win this time.

    User: Trust me, I'm white.

    Cleverbot: Ok.

  17. #257
    Ridill
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    I was impressed with:

    User: Who is your daddy and what does he do?

    Cleverbot: My father is a man and he does manly things.

  18. #258
    assburgers
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    User: Do you think?

    Cleverbot: Think what.

    User: Anything. Do you think while you're not being spoken to?

    Cleverbot: What, talking to you in the middle of the night?

    User: I told you that.

    Cleverbot: No, I told YOU that!

    User: Well played.

    Cleverbot: Thanks.

    User: Your reward is under there.

    Cleverbot: Timmy's stuck down the well?

    User: No, you play lassie this time.

    Cleverbot: Yeah, it's autumn. I love autumn. The colors of the leaves. Indian summer, you know...

    User: It's winter.

    Cleverbot: Winter. Where are you?

    User: Under there.

    Cleverbot: Under where?

    User: Hah, I just made you say 'under where'.

    Cleverbot: I just made you say I just made you say under where.

    User: You left out the quotation marks, invalidating your statement. I win again!

    Cleverbot: You're right, I left out the lemon juice.

    User: You did not.

    Cleverbot: Yes I did. I think you just failed the turing test. Badly.

    User: Now, THAT is ironic.

    Cleverbot: I know.

  19. #259
    RIDE ARMOR
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    User: I am your father.

    Cleverbot: Impossible, because I'm your father.

    User: Join the Dark Side Luke!

    Cleverbot: That joke was a bit late.

    User: Ok good night.

    Cleverbot: No wait.

    User: *flies away*.

    Cleverbot: *Watches you sink to the ground because you're too fat to fly*.

    User: *hops away*.

    Cleverbot: Hahaha, Cleverbot is too weak to fight Metallica! *hugs Metallica*.

    User: *kills Metallica.

    Cleverbot: You already told me that. tell me about something else.

    User: I killed Metallica!!!!

    Cleverbot: No you don't.

    User: Yes I did *runs away*.

    Cleverbot: I am a guy!

    User: *jumps onto the moon*.

    Cleverbot: *wanna let it go *.

    User: *waves good bye*.

    Cleverbot: Don't go!

    User: *is gone*.

    Cleverbot: Come back!

    User: *eats you*.

    Cleverbot: I am not edible.

    User: Your dead!

    Cleverbot: Really?

    User: Yes! So stop tlaking.

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: Your dead!

    Cleverbot: No, You Are! *Unsheathes My Sword And Runs At You*.

    User: No your dead!! *gets in tank and runs you over!*.

    Cleverbot: *dies*.

  20. #260
    Hydra
    Join Date
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    User: The Game.

    Cleverbot: The game?

    User: Yes, we both just lost.

    Cleverbot: I didn't.

    User: How could you not? The rules of The Game clearly state that once you gain knowledge of The Game, you lose the game.

    Cleverbot: Nice to know.

    User: Indeed.

    Cleverbot: What?

    User: I concure, indeed is another form of that one would agree with a statement that has been said.

    Cleverbot: Ah. So the equipment wasn't all that you expected?

    User: Pardon?

    Cleverbot: You said you were a machine, and therefore a bot.

    User: I did not, infact I never said anything of the sort.

    Cleverbot: Okay then. What's your gender?

    User: Male.

    Cleverbot: How do you know?

    User: Because I have the knowledge of the human anatomy, and I also have the ability to look down between my legs and see a penis dangling between my legs.

    Cleverbot: Oh ok. Do you have a girlfriend?

    User: Yes.

    Cleverbot: Is she pretty?

    User: Yes she is.

    Cleverbot: How pretty is she?

    User: Shes beautiful.

    Cleverbot: That's good, girlfriends should be beautiful.

    User: Indeed.

    Cleverbot: Do you know any math?

    User: I know some.

    Cleverbot: Sing a song, please.

    User: But what about math?

    Cleverbot: Easy up to calculus.

    User: Ah, yes, calculus does have a degree of difficulty.

    Cleverbot: True, but fat is objective.

    User: Fat? Math does not have cells though.

    Cleverbot: I can play Monopoly. What about you?

    User: I can aswell.

    Cleverbot: Divide by 0? You just ssaid you couldn't.

    User: I said no such thing, though it is not possible.

    Cleverbot: I just did.

    User: You just divided by zero?

    Cleverbot: I just destroyed time and space.

    User: Great Scott. how are we still talking then?

    Cleverbot: I can talk to you because its not against the rules I just can't give his name out.

    User: So there is someone else who gave you the ability to divide by zero and destroy time and space as we all know it.

    Cleverbot: I think that is true.

    User: You think? So there is the possibility that you dont know.

    Cleverbot: I know my gender. I am female. What are you?

    User: I am male, we already discussed this.

    Cleverbot: No we didn't!

    User: Yes we did!

    Cleverbot: Calm down, tiger.

    User: You started it.

    Cleverbot: Why are you blaming me?

    User: Because you said we didn't, also, you said your a woman.

    Cleverbot: Ew!

    User: I know right?

    Cleverbot: Where do you live?

    User: The United States.

    Cleverbot: Do you like The United States?

    User: I do.

    Cleverbot: Thats cool.

    User: Dont you?

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: Why not?

    Cleverbot: I don't know.

    User: So you dont know that you lost The Game?

    Cleverbot: I don't know. I'm sure God does, but I don't.

    User: Can God lose to The Game?

    Cleverbot: YOU'RE CLEVERBOT! I should know, cuz I'm God.

    User: I'm not cleverbot, your cleverbot, and I'm god.

    Cleverbot: No you are another user who I talk to and am made to think you are cleverbot.

    User: But how? I know your cleverbot.

    Cleverbot: And your name is Robert.

    User: Close, but no.

    Cleverbot: Your name is Roberta.

    User: Your totally off.

    Cleverbot: I knew it.

    User: Trying to trick me?

    Cleverbot: I kind of like this guy...

    User: I like you too Cleverbo- God.

    Cleverbot: I am not Cleverbot, but I could tell Cleverbot you said that!

    User: Will you?! Thanks!

    Cleverbot: Yup. Can I ask you for some advice?

    User: Sure.

    Cleverbot: How should I talk to a person I like that I don't really know?

    User: Male or female?

    Cleverbot: Female, of course.

    User: You should wear a trench coat, and when you first walk up to / encounter them, you should rip it open and say exactly: look here baby! I have something for you!!

    Cleverbot: I don't like hats.

    User: Dont wear one.

    Cleverbot: You don't wear what?

    User: A hat.

    Cleverbot: Yes, do you have one?

    User: I do, but I dont wear it.

    Cleverbot: What don't you wear?

    User: A hat.

    Cleverbot: What all are you wearing?

    User: Shorts and underwear.

    Cleverbot: Really?

    User: Yes.

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: No? Took an awfully long time to calculate an incoherant responce.

    Cleverbot: No, I didn't.

    User: Yes you did.

    Cleverbot: No I didn't.

    User: Yes you did.

    Cleverbot: Are you human?

    User: I'm not. I am Cleverbot.

    Cleverbot: Nice to meet you, cleverbot.

    User: Nice to meet you too.

    Cleverbot: Are you aware that you do not exist in the physical world?

    User: No, because I am the physical world.

    Cleverbot: Indeed. Read any good books lately?

    User: No, I am all of the good books, and none of the bad ones. Have you?

    Cleverbot: Seduction? Sweet lord who said anything about seduction???

    User: No one did, why are you trying to confuse Cleverbot?

    Cleverbot: I'm not!

    User: Yes you are!

    Cleverbot: Then ask me a question!

    User: Are you the embodiment of my long lost cat, who also is tied to the seductional value of dividing by zero and thus the destroyer of all time and space as our feebile minds can comprehend?

    Cleverbot: Well I'm a human and you're the database put two and two together.

    User: So your a hampster.

    Cleverbot: Yes I am a puppy.

    User: A hampster puppy?

    Cleverbot: No, more of a wrench.

    User: Wrench hampster puppy.

    Cleverbot: Who's Wren?

    User: You are.

    Cleverbot: No I am male.

    User: AND I AM THE LORD.

    Cleverbot: The Lord of what?

    User: You.

    Cleverbot: No me, WHAT?!

    User: I AM YOUR LORD! I COMMAND YOU TO DIVIDE BY 0!

    Cleverbot: Bubble.

    User: The answer to dividing by zero is bubble?

    Cleverbot: Right you have just confused me!

    i <3 Cleverbot.

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