http://sorry-mom.com/dudes/521#comments

After a night of drinking, I go home with this guy I had casually slept with a couple times before. Previous instances of sex could never be completed due to an unfortunate male condition known as “whiskey dick.” MYSTERIOUSLY, his condition never appeared during rounds of BJs. To top it off, he had a soul patch – more like “this-is-the-only-fucking-place-on-my-face-I-can-grow-hair patch.” We ended up back in my room and before beginning the first minute of what was sure to be hours of ecstasy, and I decided to make a stop to the bathroom. When I re-entered my room, I was greeted by the most GOD.AWFUL. stench ever to reach my nostrils. It took everything I had not to vomit right there. I look at him tucked in my lovely, fluffy, clean bed…the hugest smile appears on his face as he begins to FLAP MY BED SHEETS UP AND DOWN while laughing and saying “Oh maaaan I REALLY had to fart.” I was unable to function due to shock and somehow managed to navigate through the cloud of sheer asshole and get into bed. Awkward groping began while that scene of him flapping my sheets replayed in my mind with the stench of 1000 rotting cabbages stuffed into dirty diapers still in my memory. Surprisingly, I couldn’t really get into it and even with gallons of lube at his disposal he offered a suggestion and asked- “Have you ever put it in there before?” and NODS at my back door. I declined, he urged.. and then i just turned over and pass out. I wish it was possible to burn memories.