So I went to court today

[Mertron]

Highlights:

Guy got arrested for DUI, open beer in car, Controlled Dangerous Substance, leaving the scene of an accident, underage drinking, no insurance or registration

Kid had been skipping school to an epic degree (only went 30 days first year, 50 the next), minor so mother was in court, they had some contract where the kid had to go to school a certain nuber of days and he didnt meet the contract, DYFUS contacted, mom can go to jail

Spanish, Hindi, Russian, Mandarin translators, good god the hilarity

Black bitch giving the judge lip (over a fucking noise violation, how did this fucking happen), almost held in contempt when she 'accidently' knocked the trial stand over upon exiting

Some old creepy guy for child molestation repeatedly saying "i didnt do nothin, i never touched her,' a sentiment he repeated yet again to me as i was in the parking lot leaving

The hot girl who was there for the same thing as me chatting me up, and because I am a vagina I made no move

[Headspace]

You've been busy

[Mertron]

oh and i got to hear all this because my last name starts with Z, and of fucking course they go alphabetically

[Mertron]

oh and the special guest appearance by a guy already in jail via video conference, idk what the fuck he did but it was something about him not paying fines, owed like 2k

[Cream Soda]

If you were in the Jury, I hope you not guiltied them all

[Mertron]

no i was standing tall before the man

i am 200 dollars lighter

[Linliel]

what'd you do?

[Mertron]

i wish i was taking notes, there were a lot of "are you fucking kidding me" moments

[Mertron]

OH

the black guy who got arrested for shoplifting 10k worth of shit

from A&P

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU STEAL 10K WORTH OF FRIED CHICKEN

[Mertron]

im incredibly lame

failure to exhibit insurance card

[Mertron]

if i were black or mexican i'd have better crimes, sry

[Linliel]

what's "failed to exhibit insurance card" mean? lol

[Mertron]

well, on your auto insurance card, there is a period on the card listed when it is active

mine was basically june last year to december

i got a new card in january, but didnt have it in my car at the time i got pulled over

even though my insurance plan was active at the time i got pulled over, you need to have the correct card in the car/on you at all times

so basically i got anally raped by new jersey

[Mertron]

but at least there was lube involved, the speeding ticket (why i got pulled over) would have been worse

[ZarakiKujata]

OH

the black guy who got arrested for shoplifting 10k worth of shit

from A&P

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU STEAL 10K WORTH OF FRIED CHICKEN

imported japanese chicken that can not get salmonella

14 ct. gold panko breadcrumbs

aged lard from Italy.

IT CAN BE DONE SON.

[Mertron]

Judge: You are charged with leaving the scene of an accident, how do you plead
(Indian guy mumbles for like 2 minutes)
Translator: I was hit from behind. I did not cause the accident. I was at a full stop and the other gentleman hit me.
Judge: Ok...so do you plead guilty or not guilty
(Indian Guy mumbles some more forever)
Translator: When I got out of the car, I tried to explain myself to the other gentleman, but because I do not speak English, I could not come to an agreement with him and we both drove off.
Judge: ...guilty or not guilty
(Indian guy not getting the fucking point)
Translator: Back when I was a child, we only had one goat in our village. Those were very hard times. My mother was fearful for my life, so she requested I move in with my Uncle and Aunt in Bel Air

[Arvin]

i went to court one time for getting an mip my freshman yr of college

[Soa]

even though my insurance plan was active at the time i got pulled over, you need to have the correct card in the car/on you at all times

so basically i got anally raped by new jersey

Jersey sucks, that shit doesn't matter in PA.

[Mertron]

That shit doesn't matter in a lot of states from what I hear

But I was one of about ten people who got the same treatment today

[Charismatic]

Jersey sucks, that shit doesn't matter in PA.

I was about to say but you have Bob in your avatar, carry on.