God damn it sometimes I hate having a penis

[Antithesis]

Maybe you need to get Ksandra to hold it for you numbers.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

This is seriously the best fucking laugh I have had this year. I fucking love you Aksannyi. God please have my children.

[Seanr]

I hate split stream :/

[Cheerios]

Split stream piss is a result of ejaculation

[Ryko]

I was gonna say. Shit happens after you've busted a nut. Stop wanking it at random ass times in the fucking day or piss sitting down.

[Zalius]

one time i seriously walked into a bathroom crossfaded, and there was fucking piss everywhere. no joke, piss everywhere. i walked out and was like, somebody pissed all over the place, faggots started accusing me, and im like, no i still need to piss, and some asshole said dont lie so i grabbed a beer bottle and filled it with piss. someone did something with that beer bottle because i never found it, but i thought id share that story with you to pass the time

[Cantih]

or piss sitting down.

You should go with this.
It causes you to always leave the seat down (unless you're a freak who sits on cold porcelain), and women go NUTS for that.

[Aksannyi]

Never understood why women were always so anal about the damn toilet seat. If they're worried about germs then that's stupid because they should be washing their hands after they're done peeing anyway so they may as well put the seat down themselves.

[Shiroikage]

are you some sort of stupid bitch, they're anal about it because they don't want to have to put it down

[Cantih]

Never understood why women were always so anal about the damn toilet seat. If they're worried about germs then that's stupid because they should be washing their hands after they're done peeing anyway so they may as well put the seat down themselves.

Ok, here's how it goes.
You're half asleep, buzzed, or distracted, need to go, try to sit down, and fall into the fucking bowl. Or if you have a fat ass, make contact with FREEZING porcelain.
It's not particularly enjoyable.

[Colenzo]

Never understood why women were always so anal about the damn toilet seat. If they're worried about germs then that's stupid because they should be washing their hands after they're done peeing anyway so they may as well put the seat down themselves.

marry me

[Zalius]

ahahahahahaahahahaha and they wonder why we do it

[Ryko]

It's better than my last room mate dropping a deuce, not flushing then putting the lid down. The fucking bombs that would happen... well that's why I left my old place.

[Zalius]

i really hate people that use ahahas like that. i always check for typos though to see if they doubled up on any letters. i did.

[Zalius]

ive always wondered why the fuck everybody in school would decide that if they had to take a shit, they should just leave it there

[Cantih]

Oh Jesus, I remember I was on this flight to Baltimore once, walked into the bathroom, and there was liquid shit sprayed everywhere near the seat.

Who the fuck does something like that.

[Qalbert]

better than moving it somewhere else
guy in my old dorm would shit in pringles cans and then hide them

[Zalius]

THAT IS FUCKING GENIUS

[Qalbert]

dont get me wrong, it was a great prank, but only if you are the one pulling it

[Zalius]

or if youre watching it unfold. im just saying, youd learn not to fuck around with pringles cans after that, but its not like it wouldnt still be entertaining

[Qalbert]

well they'd be stuck on a table or in the cabinet
or hidden out of sight with holes in the lid, so youd smell it but no idea where