You Know I'm Such A Fool For You

**Krye** · 2010-03-09 04:50

I have deserved every bad thing that has ever happened to me.

**Krye** · 2010-03-09 05:05

My friend made me switch rooms with him today. When I moved in like a year ago or some shit, I had to majorly clean the room I was in, I threw away so much fucking trash it was retarded. We got like $40 recycling all the cans and bottles I bagged up. I couldn't even go into his room because the smell was so bad it made me gag. He got a new girlfriend a while ago that made him clean up his act and now they decided they want my room. So I had to help him move all the shit out of both rooms and scrub down the walls and carpets even though he was the one that originally made the mess. So now I'm in a flea infested shit hole and I had to bomb this bitch with flea spray. Whenever I cut my nails, I always cut them too short, and I just so happened to clip my toenails earlier today. My exposed, bloody toes feel like they're on fucking fire because of the shitty fucking flea spray because these dirty niggers think it's so cute to have multiple fucking cats running around and sleeping in their fucking beds and shit. On the bright side, I have a closet now so I'm hoping that will block out the smell and noise of the worthless nigger ferret they've entrusted me with. I'm going to shut his cage in the closet and forget about him and hope he starves to death before my friend remembers to check on him.

**Howard Roark** · 2010-03-09 05:06

I’ve held others before,
But it was never like this,
Where my body inhales you
And quivers with bliss,

Where my senses are reeling
From the strength of desire,
And if I can’t have you soon,
I’ll be consumed by the fire.

**Mertron** · 2010-03-09 05:12

this reminds me of the time my roommate froze a squirrel to death

i dont know why.

(literally frozen, like a huge ice cube with a squirrel in it)

**Mertron** · 2010-03-09 05:13

after that experience i am very confused as to how cryogenics works

**Krye** · 2010-03-09 05:22

I've always visualized myself as having a barely containable, boiling hatred and known that I'm the only one emotionally controlled enough to handle the intensity

**Mertron** · 2010-03-09 05:23

i lied, i know exactly why my roommate froze the squirrel to death

**Krye** · 2010-03-09 05:24

Was it for the same reason that I steal panties from girls every chance I get and masturbate with them later?

**Ohaigaiz** · 2010-03-09 05:29

http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/4...0910052840.jpg

wrong thread?

**Mertron** · 2010-03-09 05:35

You see, my roommate and I lived in the huge, fully furnished attic of a large house (was a fucking sweet deal). However, when winter time came, the local wildlife apparently thought they could move in with us for the cold weather (oh, we had it all. Mice, birds, squirrels, cats, it was animal fucking planet in the attic.). All through the fucking day, we could hear this fucking noise rattling around throughout the fucking walls of the attic. It was maddening. Randomly throughout the night and day, scamperscamperscamperrattlerattlerattle all throughout the walls. Such bullshit THROUGH THE WALLS. IT ECHOED AND IT SUCKED.

My roommate bought a huge box trap, loaded it up with peanut butter, and pushed it into a storage closet in the hall leading onto our floor. Within a couple hours we had the culprit: a squirrel. Now, we knew the fucker had to die, otherwise it would just come back. The question was: how? (I will say at this point that I had no part in the killing, though I endorsed it.) Poisoning was tried, with massive amounts of tylenol mixed into peanut butter. Did not work. My roommate had a paintball gun, he tried shooting the squirrel with it through the cage. Did not work.

The final solution which did work: Take the trap outside, spray the cage with a hose, then leave the squirrel outside in the cold. Worked to perfection, as my roommate woke up to a perfectly frozen squirrel.

An elderly woman who lived across the street, the week before this called the cops on us to break up a party. We left the dead squirrel ice cube on her porch.

I forgot what I was talking about.

**Ohaigaiz** · 2010-03-09 05:39

http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/822...0910053832.jpg

**Mertron** · 2010-03-09 05:43

dont even get me started on the fucking mice

they bulldozed some condemned bulding behind us so OF COURSE the place was loaded with vermin and they needed a new home, and chose our god damned attic as their new abode

One day I was walking around after taking a shower and literally, I SHIT YOU NOT, stepped, stepped, on two motherfucking mice walking from the shower to my room. Barefoot and wet, still in my towel. Later, we put down like 10 glue traps and they were all full in like 2 minutes. Some of them with multiple mice.

In retrospect, that house was fucking awesome.

**Krye** · 2010-03-09 05:46

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2.../Ironbound.jpg

**Krye** · 2010-03-09 05:47

Don't feel too bad about your Rusted drake though

**Mertron** · 2010-03-09 05:49

the bird was great too.

One day, I was awake playing FF Tactics at like 6am. Suddenly, a bird was flutter flutter fluttering his way around my room. Who knows how he got in. But I was like, the fuck is this? when suddenly he was flying all over the place above my god damned bed. I was like BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, YOU WILL GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE or something to that extent. I grabbed a baseball bat I kept by my bed (we got robbed twice in this house and a guy got shot outside our house, did I mention this place was awesome?) and proceeded to try to homerun the fucking menace out of the room. I successfully chased it to the stairwell leading to the lower section of the house, at which point I just closed the door to the attic, said to myself, "Mission Accomplished," and went back to tactics, and eventually, sleep.

I awoke at around 9am to the sound of my roommates who lived downstairs screaming AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE FUCK IS THIS BIRD DOING IN HERE. My roommate Josh eventually was able to successfully shoo the bird towards a window.

**Mertron** · 2010-03-09 05:51

life is absurd

**Colenzo** · 2010-03-09 06:15

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I cut myself deeply
When I think about you

***Blarg*** · 2010-03-09 06:41

Originally Posted by Mertron

the bird was great too.

One day, I was awake playing FF Tactics at like 6am. Suddenly, a bird was flutter flutter fluttering his way around my room. Who knows how he got in. But I was like, the fuck is this? when suddenly he was flying all over the place above my god damned bed. I was like BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, YOU WILL GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE or something to that extent. I grabbed a baseball bat I kept by my bed (we got robbed twice in this house and a guy got shot outside our house, did I mention this place was awesome?) and proceeded to try to homerun the fucking menace out of the room. I successfully chased it to the stairwell leading to the lower section of the house, at which point I just closed the door to the attic, said to myself, "Mission Accomplished," and went back to tactics, and eventually, sleep.

I awoke at around 9am to the sound of my roommates who lived downstairs screaming AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE FUCK IS THIS BIRD DOING IN HERE. My roommate Josh eventually was able to successfully shoo the bird towards a window.

A moth flew into my living room once

***Blarg*** · 2010-03-09 06:42

It left when I opened the door

**Shiroikage** · 2010-03-09 06:45

we had a bird in our house once
and a dog that someone walked into our house and left in my room upstairs

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