Best Man Toast

[Hosom]

Long story short is that my brother chose me to be his best man, and I've put off writing the best man's toast, anyone have any suggestions, recommendations, or advice?

[Mizango]

Best toast ever.

You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!

[zoobernut]

Wing it, bitches love confidence.


Edit: lol Miz that I think is the best speech ever.

Spoiler: show

On a serious note I have been the best man in two different weddings and given two speeches now I can say that it really depends on how comfortable you are with public speaking. I was fairly comfortable so I didn't write anything down and did not write a speech but rather thought over why I was the best man why the people getting married meant something to me. Starting with a personal story about yourself and your relationship to the bride and groom is a good start, maybe a funny story no one really knows about you and your brother, then continue with why you think his wife is nice and why she is good for him. Then close with a toast to the happiness for the bride and groom. I think that if you just go over main talking points you want to cover you should be able to wing it from there and end up with a heartfelt speech that everyone can enjoy.

Don't over rehearse your speech then it will sound forced and poopy.

[Qalbert]

Best Man Speech #1 (Funny)

Everyone - please raise your glasses and join me in toasting Joanna and Kevin. As I begin this wedding speech one of the first thoughts that come to mind is... if I'm the best man... than why is Joanna getting married to Kevin? (Pause when people laugh) I guess because today, I am just an average man and Kevin is the best man. (pause) In my extensive research to find out how to deliver a great best man speech, I learned that I am expected to sing the praises of the groom and tell you what a wonderful guy Kevin is. Unfortunately, I'm a bad singer and a bad liar. (Pause when people laugh) Kevin... Joanna is a wonderful, beautiful, kind and good hearted person who deserves a great husband. Thank goodness you snapped her up before she found one. (Pause when people laugh) All kidding aside - I'm honored to be here today... I love you both and wish you many years of happy marriage. Cheers!

Best Man Speech #2

Ladies and gentlemen. It takes a strong and intelligent man to realize his dreams and achieve his goals in life and love. A man that is not afraid to live life to its fullest and embrace what is truly important. But enough about me... I'm here to talk about John and Katherine. Two people who have come together today to form a union that will surely last forever. [raise your glass and face the bride] Katherine... you look absolutely beautiful. John is lucky to have found such a wonderful gal to share his life with. John is my best friend and I'm honored that he chose me to be his best man on this most important day in your lives. I wish you both peace and happiness in your new life together and may God bless your union.

Best Man Speech #3

Ladies and gentleman. I met John in 1990. We have been friends for over 17 years. In that time, he has proven himself to be not only a great friend, but a truly good man as well. I value my friendship with John and I look forward to having the same great friendship with his lovely new bride Katherine. I know one important thing about Katherine. She has made John happier then I have ever seen him. Today is a day of joy and happiness for all of us. But it is not just a day... it's the very special beginning of a new life between John and Katherine. I wish you both health and happiness and may God bless your marriage.

Best Man Speech #4

To my friends - old and new. It's an honor for me to be here... to celebrate this very special day for John and Katherine. Dale Carnegie once said: "Don't ask a man what is important to him. Watch how he spends his time." I've watched John spend his time, and I can see what's important to him. It's Katherine. She has made John a happy man... a man with a new focus... a man with a new appreciation for love and life. I've known John and Katherine for 8 years and I can honestly say that they are perfect for one another. They were both fantastic people when they met. Now as a team, they will embark on a new adventure together as man and wife. John and Katherine [raise glass) I toast you, and wish you both peace, health and happiness.

Best Man Speech #5

John & Katherine - I stand here today to toast you. To celebrate your new union together. You have now become part of the most important team. Team McDonald [bride & groom's last name]. All your joys will now be magnified by two because you can share them together. All your trials and tribulations have now been halved - because you can now solve them together. In marriage, you promise to care about everything. The good things, the bad things and the mundane. You promise to each other that life will not go unwitnessed, because you will witness it with each other. John & Katherine...this is just the beginning. The best is yet to come.

Best Man Speech #6

John & Katherine. The truest meaning of marriage is the magic of being needed by just one person. The two of you have come together to share your lives and realize your dreams. Today you are husband and wife. This is day one of a great adventure and I'm honored to be able to share it with you. Remember that great opportunities to help each other seldom come... but small ones will surround you everyday. I toast you... and wish you a long marriage filled with love and above all, laughter.

Best Man Speech #7

Karen & Jim - every great relationship starts with rings. In the beginning, the phone would ring and the just the thought of speaking to one another was exciting. Your love grew and so did your commitment to each other. The engagement ring soon came after. There were no doubts... your love was true. The engagement ring has now turned into a wedding ring and we are all here today to celebrate your marriage. Now of course... the suffer-ring begins. (smile and raise your glass) Peace and happiness to the new bride and groom!

Best Man Speech #8

Bill & Mary - What a great day to get married! Marriage carries new responsibilities. Mary - from now on, you should never argue or disagree with Bill, because he is now the head of the family and the king of his castle. You will be expected to keep your hair and makeup perfect at all times - to dress in a way that pleases Bill. You should cook his favorite meals every night and encourage him to go out with his friends on a regular basis. Do these simple things and your marriage will be blessed with many years of happiness. Mary - I know that Bill loves you very much... because he spent a long time writing this speech for me. Congratulations to the both of you!

gogo google

[Mizango]

Yeah I was going to be serious but Zoob summed it up perfectly. I've been asked to speak on two separate occasions as well and its all about your comfort level. Good luck and and congrats on being chosen

[Aerides]

Whatever else you do, don't embarrass the fiance/wife. Write a speech that allows her to sit next to her new husband smiling/laughing, naturally, and not thinking "ok he's never gonna get to see you solo ever again" and faking a grin while 200 people are staring at her and him.

Aside from that, keep it under 2 mins, 80% of people stop listening after that. Remember, they want to drink and eat now and you are in the way of that. If it's a big wedding, 70% of the people there barely know the bride/groom or you, and don't really care anyway. If it's too long to remember without notes, it's too long.

[Absolutely Virtue]

Just be careful. The hilarious inappropriate story is great for some weddings, but awful for others. You're expected to tease your brother a bit, but don't go overboard if people in your family or at the wedding are really uptight. Here's a good example- nobody in my family gives a shit, you couldn't ask for more laidback people. So when my brother gave his speech at my wedding, he told the story about helping me hide my pot farm from my mom when I was in college. In retrospect, maybe not the greatest story to tell in front of my wife's crazy Christian relatives, many of whom I was meeting for the first time.

Think of the bride, since the wedding is 99% about her. Think of what will make her happy. If she's a good shit, make it funny. If she's a tightass, just make it happy and respectful and short. Tell a story about how much you love your brother, and how much you've learned to love his wife. Try to make everyone say, "Awwww."

A good middle ground is embarrassing pictures of your brother when he was a little kid. Bad haircut, naked butt, stupid outfit. Pass them around. Always good for a laugh, and harmless.

[Dantrag]

Wing it, that's what I did. Worked out fine.

[Priran]

this thread is not what I thought it would be about

[Tyche]

I was in a wedding with one of my friends, and the best man decided to tell the story of how the groom got his nickname "limp 26" (he couldn't get it hard when a 26year old with implants wanted to fuck him, he was 18 at the time). It was so hilariously inappropriate and awkward that I think I was the only one who appreciated the massive fail.

[Tyche]

Oh, and recuperi gave my best man speech. Maybe he'll say something. This was awesome because he's the most socially inept person I've ever met.

[Eggroll]

this thread is not what I thought it would be about

I was expecting something more along the lines of this:

[Mizango]

I was in a wedding with one of my friends, and the best man decided to tell the story of how the groom got his nickname "limp 26" (he couldn't get it hard when a 26year old with implants wanted to fuck him, he was 18 at the time). It was so hilariously inappropriate and awkward that I think I was the only one who appreciated the massive fail.

haha

[Meresgi]

this thread is not what I thought it would be about

Same, i'm hungry and thought this thread would have manly toast in it, with bacon and steak and shit...I am disappoint

[Alderaan]

"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend... "

[Bikpik]

Praise the bride, insult the groom, keep the inside jokes to a minimum.

My favorite is. "Bride" looks stunning, "Groom" you just look stunned. or "Bride" you look beautiful, "Groom" what can i say?, you tried your best.

[Conrad]

Best toast ever.

Friend of mine used this at his buddy's wedding back in January, and I wish I was there.

[Acturus]

Maid of honor speeches, you expect to be all teary and "Bride, this is the day we dreamed about since we were little girls."

Best Man speeches, you expect to hear the dirtiest, nastiest, most horrible things about the Groom.

Don't do that.

Buddy-buddy jokes are horrible, don't do them. Chances are half the guests are there because they know the bride, and not the groom. Don't make their first impression of him one of stupidity. Don't bring other friends up to the podium, or stage, or whatever. Don't mention any other woman's name, unless it's one of the mothers, grandmothers, or other close family figure, and even then, only to say nice things. Don't be horribly drunk. I know that's what the guys do, but most likely, this will be photographed, and maybe even filmed. Let their memories be good ones ten or twenty years from now.

*edit* don't write it down on paper, unless you use notecards. If you use notecards, don't fucking READ the notecards, just use them to keep your place and keep your train of thought. The speech should be two minutes long, at the very most. You're not the only one talking.

I wrote my toast on the plane ride up to Wisconsin, and it was basically "Groom, you're a lucky man, here are nice things to say about Bride. Bride, these are the good things about Groom, but watch out, because here are a couple harmless bad things."

I ended it with something to the effect of, "May your days together be long, full of happiness, and may at least one of your kids be named after me!"

It ended well.

[Mizango]

Friend of mine used this at his buddy's wedding back in January, and I wish I was there.

Oh man lol. I wasnt even invited and im pissed that I missed it.

[Necronus]

I mainly stuttered out some stuff about wishing my friend luck and how knowing him, he wouldn't need it.

Then the Maid of Honor prattled on for 10 minutes reading off a 2 page speech about how the groom changed the brides life and less than 1 minute into her stuff people had probably already forgot I had said anything.

Yay for public speaking deflection!