Online Dating - Anyone tried/willing to share experiences and/or tips?

[Benevolentone]

I'm pretty sure the long messages are a real turn off to girls :/. So I guess no more of those then. Oh well. I really liked my long messages, but it seems like they are too long for some people to care to respond to.

[Ensam]

Man, signed up for the site two days ago. I've had 14 visitors, and gotten 4 messages plus 2 of those "four star" things (And it's easy to deduce who they are). So nearly half of the girls who've visited my profile have either made direct or indirect contact. And I haven't even sent out messages yet to girls I found interesting. This shit definitely seems to be a goldmine. PMing my profile to Archi and Wei though for their thoughts on improvement since they seem to be the ones dishing it out in this thread haha. Archi is a 90% match, what are you doing later?

But sucks, cuz from quick browsing around, most girls that match me both personality wise and up to my standards physically are either in Jacksonville or Orlando (Both 2 hours away), but certainly not surprising since a lot larger population in those cities than here in Gainesville.

Also sucks cuz I just got out of a relationship and not gonna lie, still at the stage of still looking for love haha, which turns profiles I might normally be interested in talking to into having no interest at all. But, really not expecting to get love out of this site, and this is at least getting me out there again and it's a lot easier.

And not too big of a fan of most of the match questions, most I answered as "irrelevant" to the point where it was bitching at me for answering so many as irrelevant haha.

[Weiing]

Damn... Arch beats me. Only 87% match with you babe ; -;

[The Stig]

I also think long messages are a negative. There's something about it giving too much away at the same time making her think you're some sort of obessive person (in general). Or in our case, on the forums, it's tldr


I also need to get on the site soon now, I just discovered my backups have failed. To put it simply, there were 3 I was working on, 1 left back to her country (some arranged marriage shit; we were not aware of this), 1; my backup; just (literally, 2 hours ago at the time of posting) updated her Facebook status to "in a relationship" (I let out a big NOOOOO here; note that no one was made aware of anything going on), and the final 1 I decided I'm not interested in, can't keep up a conversation with me etc....

[Mayareira]

I sent a very short message (but a smart one) to a 7/10 chick who also had similar interets...got a wall of text as a response.

Sent her an even longer mail (I don't talk about personal shit, I generally write about travel stuff and stories...I enjoy it too) and she responded with a 3-page email. Ok, she is interested as hell. Went ahead and exchanged numbers.

Texts started flowing, interets level is skyrocketing...then I called....phone conversation went well.

Asked her out (to a gift-shopping trip, it was an awesome idea) and she responded positively "Thursday is OK, sure". Then we got into details and I offered her to pick her up...

...then she immediately hit the brakes. Uh oh "I don't even know you yet.", "I generally take it slow." wat wat wat its just a fucking shopping trip. Wish you told that to me before sending me 20000-word essays baby.

[Jefe]

Lol.

You gotta treat women like cats. As soon as you see it don't be chasing it, you're going to scare the shit out of it and it's going to run under the fridge. Take your time, sit on the couch let it come to you. Let it smell you and shit, don't act too fucking needy.

[Cyn]

I sent a very short message (but a smart one) to a 7/10 chick who also had similar interets...got a wall of text as a response.

Sent her an even longer mail (I don't talk about personal shit, I generally write about travel shit and stories) and she responded with a 3-page email. Ok, she is interested as hell. Went ahead and exchanged numbers.

Texts started flowing, interets level is skyrocketing...then I called....phone conversation went well.

Asked her out (to a gift-shopping trip, it was an awesome idea) and she responded positively "Thursday is OK, sure". Then we got into details and I offered her to pick her up...

...then she immediately hit the brakes. Uh oh "I don't even know you yet.", "I generally take it slow." wat wat wat its just a fucking shopping trip. Wish you told that to me before sending me 20000-word essays baby.

*sigh*

Spoiler: show

I think I liked her too , we had a lot in common really

You should have offered to meet her dude. Where you live is private information to completely random people who seem cool on the internet. Or her pictures are 10 years old/fake.

[SephYuyX]

Yeah, im kind of getting the same deal. Txting a lot, calling, etc, even calls me pet names, but when I asked her if she wanted to go bowling she gave me an excuse and hasnt been very communicative the past couple days lol.

I really hate the whole cat/mouse games that dating entails, I like things to be cut and dry.

[Mayareira]

You should have offered to meet her dude. Where you live is private information to completely random people who seem cool on the internet. Or her pictures are 10 years old/fake.

Yeah, looks like that was the problem....it only takes 1 word to fuck it up online.

[arus2001]

I seemed to have scored the girl that waited until after I fucked her that she was moving in a couple months and had no intention of coming back. Yay?

[Weiing]

@Arus--is she REALLY moving? Hmm.

@Maya--yeah maybe it was that one question. But it's a gamble really, as some people may be more willing. Have you just completely given up now or something?

Some people are just more apprehensive with meeting others over the internetz. :\

[volcanicweather]

Yeah, looks like that was the problem....it only takes 1 word to fuck it up online.

Ouch man, yeah I'd never pull the "I'll pick you up" line in a first online date... huge mistake not only from her perspective, but what if you don't like her? You've given up your bailout card... I would write her back and just say "sorry, I'm new to this whole online dating stuff, let's meet somewhere" and be real sincere about it. Make sure it's some place really public where you order your food/drink first and don't have to rely on wait staff. If that fails, try to charm her with your turkish football knowledge

I used to date online with mixed success. Met my current g/f of 2 years off of facebook back before it sucked as we had mutual friends and just had a ton of stuff in common. She doesn't even have a profile anymore and I'm considering deleting mine after all this security BS. She's great though and even though we like a lot of the same music, we have very different personalities and she doesn't hold me back in pursuing all my hobbies which is awesome... in fact she even does almost all the cooking and housework so I can. Shit is boss and she's cute and has a great body to top it off.

I once met a "friend" who was ugly (female) off one of the sites... she was loaded thanks to having a master's from MIT and cool but we hooked up once when I was wasted which was a bad idea and I eventually found out she was a drama torama. Yikes. But one of my best friends hooked up with a friend of hers who is fairly cute but a pokemon (5') and now they're engaged with a kid... although she can be nightmareish as well, he's way more tolerant that me lol.

I also dated another girl for a year when I was in college who was honestly model hot (5'11" too) but man she was crazy. One day she'd be awesome to hang out with and be around and the next it would just be a disaster. It was totally unpredictable and unhealthy and confirmed at a young age that super hot chicks aren't worth the trouble.

[Mayareira]

Ouch man, yeah I'd never pull the "I'll pick you up" line in a first online date... huge mistake not only from her perspective, but what if you don't like her? You've given up your bailout card... I would write her back and just say "sorry, I'm new to this whole online dating stuff, let's meet somewhere" and be real sincere about it. Make sure it's some place really public where you order your food/drink first and don't have to rely on wait staff. If that fails, try to charm her with your turkish football knowledge

I used to date online with mixed success. Met my current g/f of 2 years off of facebook back before it sucked as we had mutual friends and just had a ton of stuff in common. She doesn't even have a profile anymore and I'm considering deleting mine after all this security BS. She's great though and even though we like a lot of the same music, we have very different personalities and she doesn't hold me back in pursuing all my hobbies which is awesome... in fact she even does almost all the cooking and housework so I can. Shit is boss and she's cute and has a great body to top it off.

I once met a "friend" who was ugly (female) off one of the sites... she was loaded thanks to having a master's from MIT and cool but we hooked up once when I was wasted which was a bad idea and I eventually found out she was a drama torama. Yikes. But one of my best friends hooked up with a friend of hers who is fairly cute but a pokemon (5') and now they're engaged with a kid... although she can be nightmareish as well, he's way more tolerant that me lol.

I also dated another girl for a year when I was in college who was honestly model hot (5'11" too) but man she was crazy. One day she'd be awesome to hang out with and be around and the next it would just be a disaster. It was totally unpredictable and unhealthy and confirmed at a young age that super hot chicks aren't worth the trouble.

That's what I did, sent her an email explaining what I actually meant. I'll post if I get a response tomorrow...but my "world traveller turkish sailor with an extremely charming accent" image has probably shattered already. We'll see!

@Maya--yeah maybe it was that one question. But it's a gamble really, as some people may be more willing. Have you just completely given up now or something?

Some people are just more apprehensive with meeting others over the internetz. :\

Wait & see stage now, I'm going back to Europe next week so...no biggie if she blows me off. It'd be pretty cool to leave someone here waiting for me at this side of the Atlantic though...besides, although people tend to oversell themselves on the internet she sounded pretty cool.

[Ensam]

Damn... Arch beats me. Only 87% match with you babe ; -;

I thought you were a guy because of your posts in that one work out thread hahaha >________>

This works too

[Ensam]

Yeah, im kind of getting the same deal. Txting a lot, calling, etc, even calls me pet names, but when I asked her if she wanted to go bowling she gave me an excuse and hasnt been very communicative the past couple days lol.

I really hate the whole cat/mouse games that dating entails, I like things to be cut and dry.

Are you asking her to go bowling alone with you or with a group of friends?

If it's alone, instead be like "Hey me and some friends are going bowling, do you want to tag along" and if yes, then invite some friends to go bowling. Well, likely something besides bowling haha. But takes the pressure off on her end of the first meet up.

Although from the sounds of your case, unlike the other guy above, is you pressing too hard. Be the one being chased, not the one chasing. It's hell of a lot more fun that way.

[lovehatehero]

Im not so sure about this online dating thing lol. I horrible at meeting people IRL, and this doesn't seem like it would be much easier lol. Im just terrible at trying to describe myself to a random perosn >.>. I signed up to the OKcupid thing like a week ago, so far no luck not even one messgage lol!!..BUT Ima keep looking, maybe I'll get lucky :D And taking the advice of yall couldnt hurt. So keep the success and fail stories coming haha.

[Weiing]

I thought you were a guy because of your posts in that one work out thread hahaha >________>

This works too

;- ; Not a guy damn................

@lovehatehero: Lemme see your profile. PM me. ;o

[lovehatehero]

Ok, sent you the link

[Ensam]

Archi would definitely be the one to give out tips, gave me solid advice. Some broad things I'd personally suggest is, don't focus so much on describing yourself. Instead focus on being interesting, funny, confident, ect. Let the girl dream the blanks.

[The Stig]

Archi would definitely be the one to give out tips, gave me solid advice. Some broad things I'd personally suggest is, don't focus so much on describing yourself. Instead focus on being interesting, funny, confident, ect. Let the girl dream the blanks.

How to be interesting when one's life is generally quite un-interesting? Sure, I play games, read, watch movies, build websites, write articles/blogs, work in IT, commute everyday to work with something to rage about ... but I don't think much of that is too interesting to the opposite gender......