Online Dating - Anyone tried/willing to share experiences and/or tips?

**Benevolentone** · 2010-05-27 00:29

Originally Posted by Zoolander

You guys must be serious pushovers if you honestly think it is his responsibility to turn her away because "some relationships get off to rocky starts but get better as the two learn each other and adjust."

I will not say that I presume much in a relationship at first sight, because, well, that is just stupid. But I sure as hell take that first impression and at least think about it. I saw a lot of distance between them and a lack of interest, granted could have been a bad night, but only time will tell. I figure that if I hang out with her/them more I can actually know for sure. Until then I will not be trying anything anyway so if she is having any thoughts on cheating with her boyfriend that is on her and not me.

Originally Posted by Fistandantilus

I would invite her to another show but go into it with zero expectations. I would consider it like going out with a new friend who's a girl. If she brings it up or is being flirty you will be able to tell and then you can question her a bit about her motives and find out if she's just a tramp looking for another notch in her belt or a cool girl who happens to be in an awkward situation.

That is what I am hoping to determine soon. I hate that limbo between liking someone and not knowing how to deal with it because it just makes me go crazy because I go in my head and make up scenarios and then live them out in my thoughts. So hopefully I can do something soon with her that will clarify things. I mean shit at the very least meeting a new girl who becomes a good friend is better than nothing, because she is gonna have friends and that is just more opportunities.

**archibaldcrane** · 2010-05-27 03:38

Originally Posted by SephYuyX

Got mine 21 days after signup.

I just got it too (been on the site for 5 years or whatever). I assume it's some new feature they added and the top 50% by whatever metric they are using got it, since that's what the email detailed.

Okcupid isn't really a scam site in that way, don't get too paranoid - it's more like if math and statistics geeks started a dating site (actually I think that's exactly what happened).

**Fistandantilus** · 2010-05-27 08:16

Originally Posted by Benevolentone

That is what I am hoping to determine soon. I hate that limbo between liking someone and not knowing how to deal with it because it just makes me go crazy because I go in my head and make up scenarios and then live them out in my thoughts. So hopefully I can do something soon with her that will clarify things. I mean shit at the very least meeting a new girl who becomes a good friend is better than nothing, because she is gonna have friends and that is just more opportunities.

I'm like that too, if I'm unsure of where I stand with a girl all the possible scenario's will run through my head a bunch until I see her next. I think the people saying you're an awful person for calling this girl are way too uptight. There's no reason to get that worked up over something that probably means nothing. To each their own, some guys think it is crazy to have girls who are just friends, but personally I find it real convenient. For one girls just offer a different perspective towards things so it is nice to not be stuck hanging out with guys all the time, and where one cute girl is, 3 of her cute friends are usually nearby.

**Cephius** · 2010-05-27 08:21

Originally Posted by Zoolander

A home wrecker...lol what a joke. Talk about being overdramatic. You are only making my point for me, he doesnt and couldnt understand their relationship, so if she is obviously interested in him then why wouldnt he pursue it if he is also interested? Plenty of people stay in mediocre relationships until they find something better.

Why go after someone in a relationship? SHE went after him ffs, obviously that tells you something. I'm not saying be the guy that she is cheating on her BF with, but I don't see any reason at all why you wouldnt pursue her if she basically told you she wanted you to.

You guys must be serious pushovers if you honestly think it is his responsibility to turn her away because "some relationships get off to rocky starts but get better as the two learn each other and adjust."

It has nothing to do with being a "pushover", you simpleton. I wasn't saying he should break off contact with her, or never see her again. Just that he should be careful not to too quickly judge their relationship and get in over his head. Let her make the moves and don't intentionally try to break them up because that's just a dick move.

**Benevolentone** · 2010-05-27 09:28

Originally Posted by Fistandantilus

I'm like that too, if I'm unsure of where I stand with a girl all the possible scenario's will run through my head a bunch until I see her next. I think the people saying you're an awful person for calling this girl are way too uptight. There's no reason to get that worked up over something that probably means nothing. To each their own, some guys think it is crazy to have girls who are just friends, but personally I find it real convenient. For one girls just offer a different perspective towards things so it is nice to not be stuck hanging out with guys all the time, and where one cute girl is, 3 of her cute friends are usually nearby.

Girl friends are the best friends to have for me because I just enjoy their company so much more than I enjoy the company of other guys. I have a few friends that don't have any girl friends and think it is fucking weird that I prefer girl friends to guy friends. At first I thought they were kidding but apparently it is genuinely weird for them. I guess they just get awkward around girls, or hate them in a social setting I suppose.

**lovehatehero** · 2010-05-27 11:34

I cant seem to have just a girl that a friend...It always seems to escalate to something more. No matter how little/no desire I want it to get there. Girlfriend or bust really for me I guess. I mean I would like a girl that I could be just friends with for that said different perspective but heh. Besides, I just cant get into going to/watching UFC, Football, etc etc with a girl say over my guy friends. I dunno.

**Fistandantilus** · 2010-05-27 23:42

Yeah, when you want to watch that stuff you invite your guy friends. When I want to go to the club or bar I make sure to have a girl friend with me, makes things much easier. Girls are a lot more open to sitting at a table that isn't full of dudes already lol, Women are way better wingmen than guys.

**Benevolentone** · 2010-05-28 01:03

Originally Posted by Fistandantilus

Yeah, when you want to watch that stuff you invite your guy friends. When I want to go to the club or bar I make sure to have a girl friend with me, makes things much easier. Girls are a lot more open to sitting at a table that isn't full of dudes already lol, Women are way better wingmen than guys.

Guys are fucking terrible wingmen. But a good girl is the only thing you will ever need as a wingman. Also I don't do "manly" things like watch UFC and football and that shit. I mainly chill, watch movies and hang out. In which case a girl is perfect.

**Fhloston** · 2010-05-28 19:15

I won't get too personal, but, OKcupid ftw. Met my wife there.

Tips: All I did basically was search keywords of shit I like: WoW, anime, video games, drawing, etc.

Fuck those pay-dating sites, lol.

**Zoolander** · 2010-05-28 22:50

Yea, moving really screwed me with OkC but it has still worked out ok . Only thing that annoys me is all the damn people looking for friendship, gtfo of here with that shit. I think it will be a god damn gold mine once I move back to Tampa in the fall. All I got down here in Sarasota is fat chicks(guess those are everywhere though), white trash, "bisexual" indie chicks from New College (tons of them holy shit) and a handful of decent chicks. Definitely like OkC overall though, glad I found it from this thread. BG has helped me work out and get ripped and get some strange! I love you guys!

**Headspace** · 2010-05-28 23:01

Shit around FGCU ain't much better.

**Plow** · 2010-05-29 00:42

Originally Posted by Benevolentone

Guys are fucking terrible wingmen. But a good girl is the only thing you will ever need as a wingman. Also I don't do "manly" things like watch UFC and football and that shit. I mainly chill, watch movies and hang out. In which case a girl is perfect.

Just so you know-- you're already in that chick's friend zone, so a wingman is the best you're getting.

There's even a good chance she thinks you're gay.

**Ensam** · 2010-05-29 02:57

Originally Posted by Benevolentone

Just curious but how so do you mean? I know that I have very... different views on what a real relationship is compared to my friends but I always appreciate discussing it. Things like relationships are incredibly important to me so I don't want to rush things with anyone without being sure that I know what I am getting into before taking the dive. I just can't see myself with just anyone. Or for that matter, with anyone lol.

From the sounds of your first two posts it sounded like you wanted "the perfect woman." And there's a difference between having standards and waiting for someone who's perfect. I think your posts since then have kind of leaned more to just having standards though.

The second thing is, like ^ brought up above, the whole "wait and see and then decide if you'll attack" thing will constantly get you friend zoned. The hunt starts the second you guys start talking, you attack from the very start. You need to be trying to attract a girl from the get-go, and then as you're building attraction with her you find out just how much interest you have in her, and that's when you then decide to pursue further or fall back. "Friends first" means not getting past a friendship down the line.

**SephYuyX** · 2010-05-30 16:59

By the way, when I first set my profile up I typed it all up in word and it was a total of 4 pages (what can I say I like to be detailed), and I also left my income blank. After a couple weeks with no messages I decided to cut down my profile to pretty much a short paragraph or less in each section, and list my income (70~80), I started getting about two messages a day.

lul, idk what that says, but I found it amusing.

**archibaldcrane** · 2010-05-30 20:36

Originally Posted by SephYuyX

I started getting about two messages a day.

lul, idk what that says, but I found it amusing.

Wow. Are you hot?

(no homo)

Second date for me tonight with an Okcupid Taiwanese chick, we're going to the shooting range (her idea) - she's never shot a gun before.

Should be interesting.

**SubzeroDiabolos** · 2010-05-30 20:38

That means women are into dollars.

Brb I left my surprised face back home.

@ Archi: Please do this

Spoiler: show

**Arvin** · 2010-05-30 20:42

heres my experience with online dating:

it led to me having lots and lots of sex with a very hot chick, but the chick ends up actually being pretty crazy. probably worth it

**SubzeroDiabolos** · 2010-05-30 20:44

Originally Posted by Arvin

heres my experience with online dating:

it led to me having lots and lots of sex with a very hot chick, but the chick ends up actually being pretty crazy. probably worth it

You have to tell me where you go. I end up recieving messages from fat got chicks. (Not even kidding)

I only got like... 4-5 hot ones but too far.

**archibaldcrane** · 2010-05-30 20:57

Originally Posted by Arvin

heres my experience with online dating:

it led to me having lots and lots of sex with a very hot chick, but the chick ends up actually being pretty crazy. probably worth it

Probably?

**archibaldcrane** · 2010-05-30 20:59

Originally Posted by SubzeroDiabolos

That means women are into dollars.

Brb I left my surprised face back home.

@ Archi: Please do this

Spoiler: show

Ha, no idea what he did to, um, die there.

Thread: Online Dating - Anyone tried/willing to share experiences and/or tips?

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