Online Dating - Anyone tried/willing to share experiences and/or tips?

[Mikus]

One of the best things about delivering pizzas around Lakewood Ranch is all of the hot MILFs I get to see during the day. There are so many of them, answering the door in their tight workout clothes and what not. So many hot ones lol, I would of done horrible things to this one I delivered to yesterday. I wonder if they do it on purpose, answering the door in what amounts to a bathing suit.

I live in Gillespie Park

[Churchill]

I just troll craigslist and stop trolling if they are actually hot.

[Bokey]

I just troll craigslist and stop trolling if they are actually hot.

Thats Basically how everyone works when trollin places like Craigslist

[The Stig]

First girl I meet turned out to be meh, hella wishywashy about everything.

Just found another girl a few days ago who signed up the day previous of my search; Shes got a 97% similarity to me, seems pretty awesome, and actually seems interested >.>

Was that the one you posted few pages back about? That was "ok" (doable)?

[SephYuyX]

Was that the one you posted few pages back about? That was "ok" (doable)?

That was the first girl, I think she was more than just ok though. Yummy blonde with nice tits, but over the top christian.

[ZarakiKujata]

So uh how accurate is the match %? Cause looking at profiles, girls I have hit 90%+ seem less my type than some 70-80% I've seen.

[Weiing]

I don't think the % is accurate...really. Just based off questions you've answered. Also depends on how many they have answered and how many you have answered...may skew the % even more.

[SephYuyX]

If you answer like 200 questions its 99% accurate, you just need to answer more. All the 90+s for me are awesome, but are fat uglies.

[archibaldcrane]

If you answer like 200 questions and so do they its 99% accurate, you just need to answer more.

ftfy

OkCupid used to be much more transparent about the match system, it's frustrating that they've hidden or buried stuff like "# of Questions answered". It used to be that when you joined you had to answer like 80 questions or so - site was much better back then.

[Dainslaif]

If you answer like 200 questions its 99% accurate, you just need to answer more. All the 90+s for me are awesome, but are fat uglies.

Yeah, generally the more you answer the more "like minded" people you find. Keep in mind that it's not people who share interests with you, but people who answer those questions the same way you did. That's why it's good to answer a ton of them and be honest.

If you want to find people with similar interests, just search for that term. "Video Games" turned up a bunch of pretty cool chicks, as well as 5 people I work with / have worked with in the past.


Just out of curiosity - how much do you go back and forth before asking someone out, and what's your success rate?

[RieneaEater]

eharmony is pretty good but they will deny u if they feel your non-compatible for the site

[ZarakiKujata]

ftfy

OkCupid used to be much more transparent about the match system, it's frustrating that they've hidden or buried stuff like "# of Questions answered". It used to be that when you joined you had to answer like 80 questions or so - site was much better back then.

That's what I've noticed.. theres plenty of girls who have answered <50 questions that show up as a high 80% or a few at ~91-92% that don't seem much like me.

Anyways, I got my first reply back from a cute 88% girl.. but her response made it seem like she didn't even read my profile when I've seen her on it a few times..

edit: Not sure about how OKC has gone for other people in college areas, but I've come across about 3 girls that I've had a class with or otherwise know through my circle of friends.. is this pretty par for the course?

[Ensam]

So, this site is pretty god damn awesome once you get the hang of it. <3 for this thread and letting me know about it.

I wanted to give a tip on first messages that I've learned from experience.

Originally I'd try to start a conversation based off something on their profile. This is sometimes really hard, especially for minimalistic profiles, and response rate back wasn't too good.

I then tried mixing things up, and what I've found most successful is this: Rather than trying to initiate a conversation, instead focus more on a story that portrays you in a good light. Mine has to do with, when driving home from out of town, my tire blows out on the turnpike and I had to wait two hours for AAA to show up. So to pass the time, I turned up my music and danced on the side of the turnpike for two hours during rush hour.

The story itself isn't particularly interesting, but it portrays several points: I travel/am social, I'm fun and like to dance, and I make the best of bad situations rather than being moody. The story isn't entertaining, but it shows I am entertaining. And itself can open several topics of conversation, which is better than trying to force start a conversation.

Now I essentially send the same message to every single girl (I try to add some kind of personalization, i.e. if they like a band I like I'll say they were the band I was dancing too). Going back over my messages, without my pre-built message, I was getting a response rate when sending the first message of 35%. With it, it's at 72%. So I've more than doubled my chance of getting responses.

So, yeah, my suggestion is to try to do something similar. Hell, you can make up a story if you have no good stories of your own, doesn't matter.

Two other things that I've stolen from Archi when he posted his messages before that are completely prime and you guys should steal too:

1) End the first message with "Tell me something interesting! :)"
2) If it's been a couple weeks and you haven't heard back, send "Knock knock. Haven't heard from you in awhile, so checking to see if anybody is home :)". Also works if you sent a message, they read it and looked at your profile, but didn't respond back. Like Archi said before, just cuz a girl doesn't respond doesn't mean she's not interested. Sometimes, shit happens, you forget, ect.

Just out of curiosity - how much do you go back and forth before asking someone out, and what's your success rate?

Hopefully 2-3. Maximum of five. You generally try to wait for an opening rather than force it but sometimes you gotta. Looking above, you asked them to grab a bite to eat. Remember: Dinner/Lunch dates are lame and forced. Actually doing stuff is fun. Rather than going out of your way to meet up her, invite her along to what you were already doing. It doesn't even have to be something amazing; One time I needed to get a dress shirt, so I asked one girl to come along to give me her female opinion. Sometimes shit to do can be barren though, picnics are your best fallback option...it's a lunch date without lameness.

[Saga]

2) If it's been a couple weeks and you haven't heard back, send "Knock knock. Haven't heard from you in awhile, so checking to see if anybody is home "

Uh. Don't do that ^. If it's been a couple weeks and you haven't heard back, move on, don't keep creeping around her profile. I've actually had some success on OKcupid. Just moved to a new area, middle of nowhere Ohio but still near Cleveland but it's still a social fucking wasteland out here . Gone on two dates in the few weeks I've been on it. phone numbers have been hilariously easy to get, too, it's ridiculous. If you know how to hold a conversation it isn't that difficult. As a general rule, people love talking about themselves, so get people talking about something that interests them that you read on their profile. Don't ask a ton of pressing questions but make it casual. And if you message someone and later see they checked out your profile but didn't message you back, move on. Don't say "knock knock," lmao.

Edit: just to add on, lunch dates are fine. They only feel forced if you make them forced. I've done lunch with one girl and an Indians game with another and they were both a ton of fun, but every girl is going to be different. Some girls aren't going to want to run errands with you because that's shit you do when you've dated someone for a long time. Some girls aren't going to care and will think it's quirky or whatever, it just depends.

and another edit: college areas are difficult. I was in Boston for undergrad and had a few friends trying out okcupid, and one of them actually did meet a dude and they dated for a while, but for a guy trying to meet a girl, especially in a big city (and I don't know how big a college town you're talking about so this might be different), girls will just think it's weird that you can't meet anyone else so you resort to a dating website. especially in a city like Boston where it's parties and bars galore and the opportunities really are endless, it might look a little strange to some people. that and a lot of girls on dating websites in a big city like that really aren't there to date, they just find it amusing.

[SephYuyX]

Im on #3 now lol. The first two seemed they liked playing 'the game', and generally didnt put forth any real effort in to wanting to do something or show interest, so I just stopped trying to initiate stuff. One of the two actually randomly texted me like 2 months later asking whats up, and I just lold and ignored. The 3rd is meh atm, best connection so far, but shes constantly busy with work, and has another thing planned everytime I ask her if she wants to do something, but she seems somewhat interested, so im on the edge about giving up.

I cant for the fucking life of me find someone who actually wants to meet up, show some interest, or not talk via text, fucking hate text, I want to have an actual fucking conversation. Of course im going after good looking / higher educated / well employeed people, so maybe theyre 'too busy', but so am I, however I make time. Ive got a number of fatties and uglies sending me messages, but yeah, screw that.

[Ensam]

Uh. Don't do that ^. If it's been a couple weeks and you haven't heard back, move on, don't keep creeping around her profile

It's sending one message, it's not "creeping her profile." Creeping her profile is visiting her profile everyday and then sending that shit. I don't know about you but I only visit a profile one time. It's either send or don't send then, and after I don't go back.

And no, just because you haven't gotten a message in two weeks doesn't mean she's not interested. Rather than some stupid defeatist attitude like that, why not actually think of actual circumstances? Maybe she's not interested, or maybe she's been busy, maybe she meant to respond later but forgot, ect. People have lives outside of that website, are you saying you're also 100% in responding to messages? I know I sure as hell am not. Rather than assuming the worst, find out. There's that gay ass quote "You always miss the shots you don't take" and this just goes right on that. Doing anything more than that is creeping, yes. One innocent, non-threatening, non-defensive message is not.

No offense, you knocking that shit just shows you don't actually know. Archi above showed it working in action. I can post messages here of me doing that shit and showing it working in action too.

Or we can instead follow you, who simply says it's dumb "just cuz"

[Saga]

It's sending one message, it's not "creeping her profile." Creeping her profile is visiting her profile everyday and then sending that shit. I don't know about you but I only visit a profile one time. It's either send or don't send then, and after I don't go back.

And no, just because you haven't gotten a message in two weeks doesn't mean she's not interested. Rather than some stupid defeatist attitude like that, why not actually think of actual circumstances? Maybe she's not interested, or maybe she's been busy, maybe she meant to respond later but forgot, ect. People have lives outside of that website, are you saying you're also 100% in responding to messages? I know I sure as hell am not. Rather than assuming the worst, find out. There's that gay ass quote "You always miss the shots you don't take" and this just goes right on that. Doing anything more than that is creeping, yes. One innocent, non-threatening, non-defensive message is not.

No offense, you knocking that shit just shows you don't actually know. Archi above showed it working in action. I can post messages here of me doing that shit and showing it working in action too.

Or we can instead follow you, who simply says it's dumb "just cuz"

Oh we're playing the maybe game now? Cute. Maybe her internet access cut out and that's why she hasn't been able to respond! Maybe her friend got mauled by a polar bear and she's been at the hospital! It's not a defeatist attitude, it's common sense. I don't reply to all my messages, because I don't reply to the girls I don't want to talk to, plain and simple. People totally have lives, I agree with you, but guess what? It doesn't take two weeks to send a message. If a girl really wants to reply, she will, period.

Cute quote, but when you make first contact with someone you already made your shot. The second message is more like an and 1, and if she still doesn't reply then move on.

And yeah I'm just wicked clueless, you're right, I just need to say to more girls "knock knock, anyone home? " and I'll have them all groveling at my feet.

I guess my stance is this: it's online dating. I consider it barely a step above speed dating. It's fantastic when people meet others over something like okcupid and have a successful relationship, but the fact of the matter is you don't even remotely know the other person, you don't even know if that's actually them on the other end, and you already put yourself out there once by messaging someone and trying to start a conversation. If it's been two weeks, and someone doesn't get back to you, they're not dropping you a hint saying, "try harder, dumb ass." They're ignoring you. I'm sure you ignore the ugly ones who message you.

[Ensam]

I meant reply to girls you mean to reply to. So you've never meant to respond to a message, didn't have the time, and then completely forgot to respond later? Girls get spammed to shit, it's easily to have your message lost in the shuffle.

Yeah, it is online "dating" (I think focusing on the "dating" is very stupid, I use it as a means to network, and being on there to get a relationship is just forcing something), it isn't something serious, and that message take 30 seconds to type up and send.

And yeah I'm just wicked clueless, you're right, I just need to say to more girls "knock knock, anyone home? " and I'll have them all groveling at my feet.

Yeah, resorting to hyperbole, that just shows you have nowhere to go of substance.

The fact that you haven't done the shit in practice does show you don't know son, where as there is proof it does work. Do some girl take it as creeping? Possible, but if so who fucking cares? You're not going to talk to her again.

[SephYuyX]

I agree with Saga. If you dont get a response, dont send another message lol. If she had general interest, she would put forth some effort. It's not that hard to check email daily, see you have a message, and respond. If theyre not willing to put forth that 1 minute worth of work, shes not interested, and another attempt after that is just being needy.

I know I sure as hell do the same with people im not interested in. Saga thought the same thing I did, online dating is just an online version of speed dating. You do your 1min elevator speech, and if theyre interested, they respond, if not, people understand that you dont have interest.

[Saga]

All I'm reading are excuses. First off, don't discredit someone's entire post because of exaggeration, that's something you do when you can't come up with a counter argument for the original point the person was trying to make.

"The fact that you haven't done the shit in practice does show you don't know son, where as there is proof it does work. Do some girl take it as creeping? Possible, but if so who fucking cares? You're not going to talk to her again."

Is your proof the percentage that girls respond to you sending one message versus you sending a different message? You turned it into a scientific experiment, dude -- not cool. You get credit for crunching the numbers, and that's sort of interesting to see the results, but listen -- you have your 'proof,' and I have my own. If your methods work for you, awesome. But in my experience, the majority of the time, girls are going to be creeped out by "knock knock" and they're going to be bored with "tell me something interesting about yourself! " There's more interesting ways to ask someone to tell you something interesting. Also I don't think guys don't use smiley faces, most of my female friends think that's weird, too, they all say there's something feminine about it.

who fucking cares? You're not going to talk to her again.

This is exactly my point. Who cares? Why waste your time messaging a second time when she's demonstrated she's not interested? Again, it's not a hint from them telling you to try harder.

Also, great, you've gotten all these replies -- how many outings have you actually had with these girls? I'm not boasting about my 2 outings because that's nothing, I'm just curious about your experience.

The biggest thing I think people should keep in mind is this: there's so much shit in the news about abductions, craigslist killers, whatever the fuck, that every girl on an online dating site is terrified of getting abducted, killed, raped, whatever. They might not show it, they might not think they worry about it, but that fear is there. If I was a chick and I had someone messaging me going, "knock knock, anyone home?" I'd seriously double check to make sure no one's at my door and lock it up tight. Every time I read that in my head I just think of Jack Nicholson's creepy fucking face poking through the door while he's trying to kill Wendy.

That's not something that plays a hugely critical role in your interaction with someone online, but it's something to keep in mind and pay attention to.