How to kill GOD (Siege4 spoilers)

[BRP]

THROW A BIG FUCKING FLYING HARRIER AT HIM.

WHAT?!

Rant: So basically Bendis spends a great amount time in Dark Avengers(the main series throughout Dark Reign) hyping just how God-like(capital G, God) the Void part of Sentry is. He gets killed by magic at the hand of one of the strongest magic users in the Mar-verse', shows up at home. He gets his face blown clean-off with a super-science alien gun, he continues to talk with his face in pieces. He gets taken apart to mere atoms, and regenerates from that state. He then learns that he has the power of Molecule Man/Beyonder, making him the most powerful Marvel superhero ever(as if it wasn't clear enough before, he was basically a Marvel Superman who could stomp Dr. Doom).

At the end of Siege3 he shows his TRUE FORM and it looks like Armageddon has arrived. He is after all hinted to be the Angel of Death. Oh God! In his weaker "Sentry form" he tore Ares in half. Ares is probably as tough as or tougher than Thor(but lacks the hammer). Loki is crying a bit and has an internal monologue that goes something like "I only wanted Asgard to be stronger"(what the fuck?) so he powers up the heroes with magic rocks so they can face Void. Void does the whole "it tickles" shtick and quickly regenerates any damage he takes. He doesn't really attack a single person in this(they would die instantaneously after all), he just gives off some sort of Bleach-like pressure effect on them. Then the Void does some STUPID detective work, the kind you see in the old Batman movie, and he figures out Loki is the source of his hero problem. He then proceeds to vaporize Loki(but he doesn't do this to Thor, the other asgardian hitting him in the face with the hammer). (Though Loki just got done with a plot which made him immune to procedures with follow Gods in death. He then says "Just watch" to Marvel's Satan. So I am guessing we can ignore the monologue and tears. "Just as planned" seems more genuine.)

So now their power-up is gone and heroes are back where they started, except I think it is very slightly implied that they have been fighting Void for awhile now. (Maybe he is weakened or some shit?) Thor is a little pissed. For some reason the heroes are not a bunch of scrambled atoms. The Ironman(who has the memory of Tony Stark BEFORE Civil War btw, LOL) hacks the "helicarrier" and makes it crash on Void. Makes a real huge explosion(but not in scale of a nuclear exploison, mind you). And in the middle of the crater is a naked Reynolds, Sentry/Void's host. I am sure that explosion would kill Spiderman or Ironman or even someone like Colossus. It wouldn't kill, but it would hurt/slowdown significantly Hulk or Wolverine. But motherfucking Sentry can be taken apart atom by atom and come off completely functional. You can't really hurt someone more than that. So how the hell did this work? And how was it more effectual than fucking MAGIC? And worst of all, SENTRY JUST GOT DOWN DESTROYING A HUGE FLYING GOD-CITY WITH HIS GODDAMN HEAD WITH EASE. How exactly did this hurt his "TRUE FORM" or some shit?

Note that way back in beginning of New Avengers it took basically every single hero to hold back Void, before he knew he could reshape reality via molecules, and they got their shit kicked in. Every single hero got fucking wrecked and piled on top of each other and Sentry was slowly overpowering the barrier which Sue, Strange, and I forget who else was holding around Emma White and Reynolds. To repeat: Since then Void has learned to RESHAPE REALITY. HE CAN ASSEMBLE AND DISASSEMBLE ANYTHING. Only a small force was present at Siege, but it didn't matter because he just sat their like some sort of JRPG villain.

So then like Reynolds like "Did I do that?" in Steve Urkels voice. But then he says "Please kill me!" Then everyone is like "No, you are going to jail"(But they don't feel the same way with Hulk, what the hell?). Then Reynolds turns back into the Void and is "C'MON, KILL ME FAGGOT". Then Thor kills him. Turns him into a skeleton with a single lightning hammer blow. WHAT!? Then he throws him into the sun. But the dude runs on the power of a million exploding suns, so I doubt that would really stop the Void(and like, again, being broken down to atoms is no big deal). Weirdly enough Thor is crying a little when he tosses him in. Post-memory removal, this the first time Thor met Sentry(they have have shortly clashed before for like a panel or two, I forget) and he his face met Sentry's fist before they even spoke words to each other. Also during this Osborn, the main villain, gets punched in the face again. He doesn't matter though.

Then the SHRA is thrown and the government puts another criminal in charge of everything(only this time he has blond hair and blue eyes), because that is the kind of power Shadow-Obama has. Unfortunately we don't have Shadow-Obama in real life, if we did fixing healthcare would have gone smoother. (What was the point of Civil War again? Tony doesn't remember shit, Steve is alive and in charge, Spiderman's identity is unknown again,


So Siege, like most events, didn't know how to end properly. Perhaps worse is that Dark Avengers was really, really good at building hype and making Dark Reign enjoyable and Siege ignored most of that even though it was written by the same guy. Actually worst of all this little bastard is the reason JMS's character-(re)defining Thor run was cut short. For what good?


What was really, REALLY bad was the tie-in "Lost Sun". Basically the Sentry funeral special. Funeral specials are the fucking WORSE. They need to stop making them. In this a bunch of people who claim to be Sentry's friends talk about what a swell guy he was, aside from keeping Osborn in power and ripping Ares in half(who doesn't get a funeral btw, despite having been a legit avenger like Sentry and being brave enough to fight him/Osborn) and also being worse than Satan exactly 50% of the time. Except for most of these guys, they've basically never been shown being friends with Sentry. Tony treated him like a tool(ACTUALLY, Tony probably doesn't even remember this shit, what the fuck?!), Richards was kind of important to him, but Richards is probably the most impersonal friend you could ever have, and a bunch of other motherfuckers like... Daredevil(kind enough to show up in full costume of course LOL)? Also Tony is basically "I was a drunk! LET ME TELL YOU THE DANGERS OF BEING AN ALCOHOLIC! Wait a minute, don't stop me, I am going somewhere with this. Who wants beer, I am drinking water." The Thing is like "If it wasn't for Sentry, I'd be killing people left and right". Worst fucking funeral ever. These people don't even know him(Sentry previously made everyone forget him and those memories are still gone). The ONLY person who was ever kind to him was Osborn. He even introduce that nigga to Five Guys burgers(SERIOUSLY). There is no greater kindness you can give to another man. And Ares once called him a friend(before he got tore in half - remember that guys?).

Oh and it turns out Sentry was Rogue's first love. There has never been any sort of reference to this. Don't think they've ever even been in the same panel before(which is still true, since Sentry is in the sun, not buried). Don't even want to get into how stupid this, for both characters. What was the objective of this retcon?

Oh and speaking of friends. For some reason Banner or the Inhumans didn't show up.

Blackest Night has better highs, but worse lows. Siege was sort of like "You know what, lets just throw everything out as quickly as possible".

[Kiarax]

Is this copypasta

[BRP]

No

[Krye]

Either way he's a fucking dumbshit for thinking anybody ever gives a fuck about anything he ever says and you're all even worse for goading his shit on

[Kiarax]

I will read it when I'm not tired as fuck if it is not copypasta.

[Krye]

Dickarax got tired of being a decent little girl and now she's going straight for the cock rodeo?

[BRP]

But then again Dark Avengers was really good. Is the same person really writing both of these titles? Seriously?

[Pikarya]

Is the same person really writing both of these titles? Seriously?

Not gonna lie, there are times where I question it.

[BRP]

I am really going to miss DA. Dark Reign could have went on for another year and I would be fine with it.

[Kiarax]

I take it back I'm not gonna read it.

[BRP]

Basically only tyven and a handful of other guys are the only members of the intended audience. Then again, it is a rant.

[tyven]

i read it. i agree with it. i was so excited to read siege 4 and when i got home from work i was on the shitter reading it and it was even shittier than the shit coming out of my ass. didnt even finish lost son, gave up during tony's alcoholism speech

[Demosthenes]

mayad

[Demosthenes]

It was to be expected.

[Demosthenes]

HoM, CW, WWH, SI had shit endings, I did not expect any different.

[Day]

Either way he's a fucking dumbshit for thinking anybody ever gives a fuck about anything he ever says and you're all even worse for goading his shit on

^

[tyven]

i did not like return ofbruce wayne either

[Demosthenes]

i did not like return ofbruce wayne either

shit was laced with crazy subtle hints.

[tyven]

idgaf about hints he should have been whipping the shit out of fgt cavemen

[BRP]

HoM, CW, WWH, SI had shit endings, I did not expect any different.

WWH and SI endings weren't as bad, though they were probably more boring throughout. Especially SI.