Men: On infidelity, adultery and marriage

[Titanss]

Women are perfect and never cheat.

It happens from time to time believe it or not

[MarkM.]

Plow is ver ver wise!

[Lordender]

I think this is all a two way street. If i put all the effort into the world into a relationship just to find out it was wasted because of cheating then you're going down with me. I will expose it to everyone your close to, I will teach you a lesson so harsh that you will never let it cross into your mind again.

People who cheat are worthless, I wouldn't even piss on them to put them out if they were on fire. I don't care if this is called childish but you better think before you cross that line.

[Weiing]

Marriage rates continue to fall every year as more and more men stop drinking the kool-aid.

The reverse can be said, too. As more and more women stop drinking the "kool-aid", focusing on their careers and living life instead.

Marriage...eh. Marriage is a tough social institution to break. It would take many many many many many... years for it to completely dissolve, if ever. I agree it's a social construct...and it's especially difficult for women to not give into society's dictation of how marriage completes her life. As a woman, I recognize the social expectations and connotations of marriage...and like to reject the notion of it. However, it's hard to not give into societal pressure and not to think "I want to get married and have my own family". Then again, it's easy to blame society for instilling these beliefs. It wasn't helped by the fact that after being with my now-fiance for 3 years, people already started asking about marriage. My mom actually asked about when I was going to have kids before I got married, hah... It is the 'logical' next time in society's grand scheme of things. Even when my fiance proposed, I didn't want a big wedding, or a wedding at all. But I've come to realize that the wedding isn't for me or for him, but for our families, as a formality.

I don't know...I guess there is societal pressures for men to get married. But at the same time, single men are also more praised than single women. People question if a single woman in her 40s who has never been married is either 1) lesbian or 2) something is wrong with her; while people may be like "right on!...way to be a stud" for a 40 year old man. It's really a slippery slope, for both sexes.

Anyway... back to OP. If your issue is that you can't stop staring at a hot piece of ass as she walks by... then, as other people say, self-control? For me, personally, I don't see anything wrong with looking at other people/checking them out... as long as you aren't acting on the impulses. I mean, looking at something attractive is instinctive and natural, right? It's like looking at the Mona Lisa or The Scream...haha. Just don't make it too obvious? My fiance has commented on the fact that it's very obvious when I stare at girls... but at least it's only obvious when I stare at girls and not guys?

Final Note: I'm actually quite impressed at all the men here who have said they wouldn't cheat. I always thought there was something wrong with my fiance for not needing any other girl in the world, but... now I know others feel the same. Perhaps even I bought into that whole male ideal.

[Pirian]

Oh, I also made the men wear pink vests. As retribution, they painted my toenails pink for the ceremony.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-a...60840_3197.jpg

Kind of late, but I wouldn't have believed you if you didn't have the pictures, lol. You could be one of my hero's

[Nirokun!]

I know I will probably get reemed for saying this, but ideally marriage is an act of submission and humility to your spouse.

It's not about taking ownership of another person, but an act of letting them take ownership of you. Sorry if that doesn't make a lot of sense.

I really like the way you put that.

@Kkel: I think there's a general sentiment among people who like men, we want to KNOW that we're good enough for you. And I'm sure it hurts your girlfriend a whole lot when you say you don't want to get married. Because to her, all she can hear is "I don't want to get married (to you.)" She's left questioning her worth to you, and she'll keep wondering what it takes to be good enough to be your wife. And I'm sure it hurts when she can't figure it out.

"When he really loves you, and he's though about it and though about it and though about it, he'll get down on one knee..."

I'm sure she loves you so she doesnt want to leave you, but it's painful waiting for you to show her that she's good enough. Everyone just wants to be good enough.

[BerenTebogo]

I know more women who cheat than I know men who cheat.

CARPET GENERALIZATIONS BASED ON ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE

[Cleverness]

I know more women who cheat than I know men who cheat.

A man who cheats would say that.

DUN DUN DUN, but no I'm kidding.

[Pirian]

I know more women who cheat than I know men who cheat.

CARPET GENERALIZATIONS BASED ON ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE

What about carpet muncher?

[BerenTebogo]

I cheated on my shag with scotchguard.

[Kkel]

@Kkel: I think there's a general sentiment among people who like men, we want to KNOW that we're good enough for you. And I'm sure it hurts your girlfriend a whole lot when you say you don't want to get married. Because to her, all she can hear is "I don't want to get married (to you.)" She's left questioning her worth to you, and she'll keep wondering what it takes to be good enough to be your wife. And I'm sure it hurts when she can't figure it out.

"When he really loves you, and he's though about it and though about it and though about it, he'll get down on one knee..."

I'm sure she loves you so she doesnt want to leave you, but it's painful waiting for you to show her that she's good enough. Everyone just wants to be good enough.

Fortunately, because we've talked about it to such an extent, I know this is not her particular situation. We have both shown, through actions and words, that we are supremely devoted to one another. Until kids come into the image, marriage is unnecessary.

The idea of this mindset, though, is so absurd to me. Kind of sad too. That anyone would consider marriage as representation or gauge of self-worth, or that it's some kind of reward, is ridiculous. I understand that it is very much something ingrained in certain upbringings and supported by societal norms but relationship/marital status is not an indicator of worth. No one should ever think that and, really, anyone who does should seriously reassess what's important in their life.

[Beckwin]

another explanation for men wanting it is a means of coping with the loneliness of existence. it can be a comfort knowing another human being will intimately share your life with you, and that one of you is willing to risk being alone again should the other pass first.

/existentialism

[Dimmauk]

I've been married for 10 years, and we have had more ups than downs. I got a hot wife, so its very hard to find someone else that's hotter. She is a loving mom to our daughter, she loves me alot, and we are very happy. Plus she cooks and cleans, and enjoys doing it. Only thing she hates is video games. LOL! Can't have it all I guess.

[AoE]

[wagon]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, there's one simple way to prevent men cheating.

Blowjobs and swallow. There, I just saved women around the country their annual subscription to cosmos.

[Demosthenes11]

fuckin stupid topic. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal - all girls can give head and fuck, not even close to all can be your best friend and blanket on top of it.

gay, queer, etc. It's sad to see people generalize love when they have no idea what it is

[Plow]

Blowjobs and swallow. There, I just saved women around the country their annual subscription to cosmos.

It's also worth noting that the same basic concept works pretty damn effectively on women as well.

[Koul]

I can get by with jacking off just fine so monogamy is fine with me. marriage in my eyes is just a neat title also. if my guy wanted to get married I'd be okay with it and if he never does. that's cool too. I'm a disgustingly laid back person though so that might have something to do with it. and if you're the type of person that needs sex and your girl refuses to give it to you or her sex drive dies then... divorce is probably the best option.

I know if my sex drive completely died I wouldn't give a fuck if the bf went to screw other people as long as he came home to me still. sex is just sex to me

to clarify too on the sex is just sex bit. cheating should never be an option. ever. couples need to communicate their sexual needs or just their needs in general.

[archibaldcrane]

women are dumb and dig the kinds of dudes who cheat but not the kinds of dudes who don't. the guys who can't get girls are the ones who don't cheat and the guys who have an easy time of it, usually burly wealthy moronic alpha male tough guy types, are the ones who do. it was true in the fourth grade and it's true throughout adulthood. none of my relatively unattractive, nerdy group of male friends have ever cheated or would ever cheat on a girl. they also can't get girls to date them. in fact, they're the kinds of guys who would get cheated on. if women let themselves get sweet talked into dating or even marrying douchebags who are going to fool around on them, then it's their own fault for having shitty taste in men. there's more than plenty of lonely, nice boys out there who'd be perfectly faithful who women willfully ignore. i'm not saying that the same isn't true for guys who get cheated on by women, like i have. their own fault for being vain, having shitty taste, not putting enough stock in personality, whatever.

I know it's already been addressed, but this is so unbelievably retarded.

You can get laid, a lot, without being an alpha male douche who treats women like shit and cheats on them. You can also have 5 women ready to fuck at any time and stay faithful to a girlfriend or wife. You can do all these things if you are an emotionally developed, honest, respectful man because women who are worth their vaginas will recognize this and trust said vaginas with you.

If you're an insecure boy with a lot of built up anger over the jock who played quarterback at your high school and think all women are dumb and have terrible taste, well, yes you'll have this problem and this worldview.

[Silviya]

While I'm not planning on buying a ring anytime soon, I have thought about proposing to my girlfriend sometime in the future (2-3 years maybe?) if everything continues the way has been. The issue I'm currently stuck on is weather or not to ask her to sign some sort of prenuptial agreement. She has a mound of debt from student loans already, and wants to continue her education with a masters, and a PHD.

While I have no issue supporting her while we are together, even unmarried, I feel like it would be naive of me not to ask her to sign something if/when we do get married seeing as she is basically going to be racking up more debt while I am going to be the sole provider for a while. Someone mentioned that they agreed to wait until both partners where self sufficient before tying the knot, so maybe that is the way to go.

I have one friend who's wife recently divorced him (refused to go to consoling to try to fix the problem) and is really taking him to the cleaners. She is even refusing to give up his last name because he is a pretty connected guy and his last name has some weight around the area he lives. He is also a co-owner of a company that he and another friend built from scratch into a very successful business. She wants half of his share even though she has put no effort into helping him build it at all. He kicks himself every day for not making he sign one, and it is going to literally coast him a fortune.

So I guess my question is; regardless of your opinion on marriage, what do you think of prenuptial agreements? Unnecessary? Wise? Shows a lack of faith in the relationship? Insulting?