Men: On infidelity, adultery and marriage

[Sepukku]

Blowjobs and swallow. There, I just saved women around the country their annual subscription to cosmos.

Yep.

My girl's been getting lazier and lazier with this - She was so frequent on it when we began going out a couple years ago, but now it's like once every other month if I'm lucky and I've been trying to hint my feelings that its not about bringing pleasure to your taste buds, its not going to taste like a slice of pizza with an ice cold pepsi (or whatever one's favorite meal is), and unless you're a huge oral fetish nut, you're probably not going to have a mental orgasm from it, cause obviously plainly by itself its not going to physically stimulate an orgasm, but rather that its about wanting to make your partner happy and unless it makes you extremely uncomfortable, you should do it for them other than just their birthday. My chick's pussy doesn't always taste wonderful due to coming home from work and not having showered yet etc etc, and last I checked, I never blew a load while eating her out, but I still do it with a much greater frequency than I get head. Its about wanting to make your partner happy.

[Antithesis]

Ricky wouldn't know what to do with that

Jealousy.

[Tsuko_Asura]

Reality

[Kyreth]

Hmm. I've been on both sides of the marriage thing.

I was married for six years (widower now), and it was by blind luck that I didn't end up part of a total financial collapse. She'd gotten to the point of using credit cards to pay off credit cards and I didn't find out till after she died (and was cleaning out the old townhouse) where she'd stashed a dozen cards, half of which were maxed out.

VA law prevents the spouse from being burned with that, since I signed on nothing. But if it'd all come down and we were still married and her alive? I don't know how well the marriage would have gone. As it was, she was sick, and I took "sickness and health" seriously.

Nowadays, I have a living-with-girlfriend situation, she knows that post-widowing I had a few dates/partners/FWB situations, but we're honest about that sorta thing and everything else.

Marriage to me is an honesty thing. If you can't be honest with your partner, marriage is a sham. And if you can be, marriage is icing on the cake, publicly saying what you both know privately- you're together for the long run. It's not the cake, or even the important thing- especially if you aren't planning on kids. Just make sure the legalities you need are there in case something happens to one of you.

[Antithesis]

Reality

Don't act like you wouldn't tap it.

[Kuya]

It's pretty easy, you take the penis, and then you put it in the vagina. Straight people have the natural skills for this, but it takes the gays some practice before they get it right.

[Vandalhart]

Just pretend it's an asshole. That may help.

[Siniroth]

We got married outside, in flipflops, and she walked down the aisle to the intro music to final fantasy tactics. The bridesmaids and brides walked out to "To Zanarkand" from FFX. I got sooooooo many compliments on the music, it was absurd. Noone was the wiser of the nerdfest that was going down.

It's amazing when people don't recognize nerd music and love the shit out of it

[liggy 0]

So I guess my question is; regardless of your opinion on marriage, what do you think of prenuptial agreements? Unnecessary? Wise? Shows a lack of faith in the relationship? Insulting?

inb4 Plow posting kanye's gold digger

[Xajii]

This thread amazes me. The opinions expressed in OP make me rage a bit and it helps to understand it's not just the OP's opinion but those of his co workers or whatever as well, but others...

One thing I notice is Weiing's surprise at the existence of men who do not wish to cheat. Is that really where our society is right now?

It is not difficult to not cheat. It is, in fact, quite easy. If you feel that you are in danger of doing so, it would seem to me that you are not prepared for commitment. I find that idea fairly simple.

I have been cheated on by the same girl I am currently dating. We are an "on-off" situation that used to be very difficult. Long story short she was still in love with a guy who is the biggest assfuck I've ever met when we started dating, and she denied it because she knew he was a dick, but ended up being caught up in his shit for about a year after that. It is emotionally wrecking, despicable, and extremely hard to come back from. I forgave her, she has changed quite a bit, I do often wonder if I should have never gotten back together with her, but our relationship now is completely open and eons ahead of what it ever had been before.

I do not believe in "once a cheater always a cheater". I also do not believe anyone is able to tell anyone else that they do not love someone or that someone does not love them. I think it is more wise to say that a person is not currently capable of commitment. That being said, nobody in this thread or on this forum should listen to specific criticisms of their relationships, as beyond the fact it's obvious half the people here have no idea what they're talking about, nobody knows you or your partner either.

Those cynical to the idea of marriage are entitled to their opinions but it disgusts me just as much as any other person shovng their opinion down someone else's throat that people in this thread come up to others and say, BUT WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED? IT'S BECAUSE SOCIETY TOLD YOU TO, MAN. Seriously? I respect your opinion but kindly shut the fuck up, that is no more your place to say than it is a gay person's place to tell a straight guy he only fucks chicks because society tells him to. Believe it or not many people actually have personal, individual and emotional reasons to desire marriage.

[Darus Grey]

Those cynical to the idea of marriage are entitled to their opinions but it disgusts me just as much as any other person shovng their opinion down someone else's throat that people in this thread come up to others and say, BUT WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED? IT'S BECAUSE SOCIETY TOLD YOU TO, MAN. Seriously? I respect your opinion but kindly shut the fuck up, that is no more your place to say than it is a gay person's place to tell a straight guy he only fucks chicks because society tells him to. Believe it or not many people actually have personal, individual and emotional reasons to desire marriage.

You're right, we should never question tradition. Oh please forgive me.

Sorry, I never knew people were so emotionally attached to the idea of entering a fiscal contract that always favors one individual more than the other.

Half of you people can't even get it through your thick skulls that legal marriage =/= marriage as a whole, and I'm only asking people to question why they get LEGALLY married(Maybe I should stress that in rainbow letters, cause it's been several pages and people still don't get it).

I have absolutely no fucking issues with people making a commitment to be with someone for the rest of their life, but you don't need a contract to do that...

It's really fucking easy...kinda like not cheating, you just do it(or not do it, in the cheating example).

[Acturus]

You're right, we should never question tradition. Oh please forgive me.

Because everyone on this forum is interested in academic and philosophic debate without taking a vested, personal interest in the outcome. Right?

Spare me. BG posters (HEUG generalization) get their rocks off at being all non-conformist and shit and fighting against the heteros, the repubs, persons with religious conviction, and people who don't watch anime.

Specifically to this topic, it's been pretty easy to tell who is against the concept of marriage because they were burned by a partner or parents, or just are affected by general social ineptness, and who is just trying to get their rocks off by picking fights with people who can't articulate very well the decisions they make based on feelings and not logic.

Personally, I like being married. I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl anyway, but we both want kids, and getting married ment we got to have a bitchin' party where we were the center of attention, got lavished with gifts, and had an all around good time with 150 other people. Since unlike most people on the internet, I'm not a baller who engages in such activities on a regular basis, it was pretty fucking cool.

afk playing with my wife's tits in the club built in a warzone.

[Absolutely Virtue]

I'm only asking people to question why they get LEGALLY married(Maybe I should stress that in rainbow letters, cause it's been several pages and people still don't get it)

My wife and I were living together for a couple of years before we got married. The difference in the way you are treated before and after marriage is like night and day. Someone back me up on this. Talking to everyone from the bank to the doctor's office to the insurance company is just infinitely easier when you say "wife" instead of "girlfriend."

I sort of understand what you're trying to say about not needing a contract to signify your commitment, even if I totally don't get why you're so fucking bent out of shape about it. I guess the answer is that I never think of my marriage as a contract. The legal aspect of it was just a formality, and it took all of ten minutes to file the paperwork.

We were stoked that we decided to spend the rest of our lives together, so we decided to get married. I didn't really care about a wedding but my wife wanted a big party, so we invited our friends and families and everybody got drunk. The officiant signed a form right after she completed the ceremony, and we took it to the marriage licensing bureau a couple of weeks later.

Signing a cell phone contract is more difficult and probably more binding. Why are you so mad about this?

[Darus Grey]

Because everyone on this forum is interested in academic and philosophic debate without taking a vested, personal interest in the outcome. Right?

Spare me. BG posters (HEUG generalization) get their rocks off at being all non-conformist and shit and fighting against the heteros, the repubs, persons with religious conviction, and people who don't watch anime.

Specifically to this topic, it's been pretty easy to tell who is against the concept of marriage because they were burned by a partner or parents, or just are affected by general social ineptness, and who is just trying to get their rocks off by picking fights with people who can't articulate very well the decisions they make based on feelings and not logic.

Personally, I like being married. I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl anyway, but we both want kids, and getting married ment we got to have a bitchin' party where we were the center of attention, got lavished with gifts, and had an all around good time with 150 other people. Since unlike most people on the internet, I'm not a baller who engages in such activities on a regular basis, it was pretty fucking cool.

afk playing with my wife's tits in the club built in a warzone.

Of course they can't articulate it well, because if you ask someone the reason they got *legally* married...cause you know, you could of had that baller ass party and wedding ceremony anyways without signing a marriage license...they instantly realize they do not have a reason other than society expects it of them.

Doing things "just because" is never a valid reason, and is why they should be questioned about what value they add, in this case, none.

I sort of understand what you're trying to say about not needing a contract to signify your commitment, even if I totally don't get why you're so fucking bent out of shape about it. I guess the answer is that I never think of my marriage as a contract. The legal aspect of it was just a formality, and it took all of ten minutes to file the paperwork.

But why don't you? It obviously IS a contract, it is legally binding, and it's one that can wreck your life in the right circumstances.

The legal aspects are the entire problem, hardly a formality.

Getting legally married is serious business, but apparently not serious enough to consider the ramifications? Does not compute.


I want to repeat this again, THERE IS NOTHING PREVENTING PEOPLE FROM GETTING MARRIED WITHOUT SIGNING FOR A MARRIAGE LICENSE.

[zoobernut]

Of course they can't articulate it well, because if you ask someone the reason they got *legally* married...cause you know, you could of had that baller ass party and wedding ceremony anyways without signing a marriage license...they instantly realize they do not have a reason other than society expects it of them.

Doing things "just because" is never a valid reason, and is why they should be questioned about what value they add, in this case, none.

You are so unbelievably against legal marriage and so butthurt about it that you are ignoring the several valid reasons that people have stated they got legally married. Legal marriage gives you many benefits with respect to every day life that make things easier.

[Darus Grey]

You are so unbelievably against legal marriage and so butthurt about it that you are ignoring the several valid reasons that people have stated they got legally married. Legal marriage gives you many benefits with respect to every day life that make things easier.

Really? List them for me, we'll go over them point by point in detail about why you're wrong. I am very prepared for this, as a warning.

Honestly I'm more butthurt that the majority of people here are dense as fuck and I'm trying to be civil debating with a wall "We do it just because!"

Edit: Actually I'll go ahead and say that every legal benefit of marriage can be duplicated with another contract except one(the insignifcant tax break, which is actually countered by others open to "single" parents...). When you enter a legal marriage you get the bulk deal though, the good along with all the bad. No reason to argue over it when I can debunk it with one statement.
I should clarify that not all of those can be duplicated, but they're made redundant by other avenues to achieve the same result(like there are types of life inheritences exclusive to married couples, but there are other types with the same benefits anyways...making it a redundant benefit).

[Absolutely Virtue]

The legal aspects are the entire problem, hardly a formality.

Getting legally married is serious business, but apparently not serious enough to consider the ramifications? Does not compute.


I want to repeat this again, THERE IS NOTHING PREVENTING PEOPLE FROM GETTING MARRIED WITHOUT SIGNING FOR A MARRIAGE LICENSE.

I think I see the disconnect. I made a promise to my wife- a vow, if you will. That is far, far more important to me than the "contract." I am not retarded, I appreciate the risks of shared credit, shared liability, alimony, etc. But I never felt the need to conduct a risk assessment when I fell in love with her. I just knew I wanted to be with her forever.

I don't think we're going to see eye to eye on this. Marriage requires a bit of faith. If you're trying to reduce it to a business decision and risk mitigation, you're doing it wrong.

[zoobernut]

Really? List them for me, we'll go over them point by point in detail about why you're wrong. I am very prepared for this, as a warning.

Honestly I'm more butthurt that the majority of people here are dense as fuck and I'm trying to be civil debating with a wall "We do it just because!"

Edit: Actually I'll go ahead and say that every legal benefit of marriage can be duplicated with another contract except one(the insignifcant tax break, which is actually countered by others open to "single" parents...). When you enter a legal marriage you get the bulk deal though, the good along with all the bad. No reason to argue over it when I can debunk it with one statement.
I should clarify that not all of those can be duplicated, but they're made redundant by other avenues to achieve the same result(like there are types of life inheritences exclusive to married couples, but there are other types with the same benefits anyways...making it a redundant benefit).

I am not going to humor you because you are completely blinded by rage against the idea of legal marriage so anything I say won't be read with unbiased eyes you already have your opinion and have made it very clear that you don't care what anyone else has to say. I can tell the difference between what you are doing and an honest debate.

Really quick though I never said the benefits of legal marriage couldn't be gotten elsewhere with other types of legally binding contracts I just said legal marriage made it easier.

Though I completely agree with AV in his last post. But I know your response to that is going to be once again try to make the distinction between legal marriage and marriage.

[Darus Grey]

I think I see the disconnect. I made a promise to my wife- a vow, if you will. That is far, far more important to me than the "contract." I am not retarded, I appreciate the risks of shared credit, shared liability, alimony, etc. But I never felt the need to conduct a risk assessment when I fell in love with her. I just knew I wanted to be with her forever.

I don't think we're going to see eye to eye on this. Marriage requires a bit of faith. If you're trying to reduce it to a business decision and risk mitigation, you're doing it wrong.

You know, as little as 200 years ago(and in many countries still today), marriage was as simple as "I marry you, you marry me" DONE(often a celebration follows).

You can still do that now.

What is so sacred about the license itself? it's "official" even without it, why does the government(not a libertarian sidetrack) have to accept it? and why must you sign a bulk legal contract to do so? One that does carry serious issues that really should concern people more than it does.

Let me clarify, from my perspective, most of the people in this thread are saying "GTFO, you're making too much sense!"...which just makes me go cock-eyed.

I am not going to humor you because you are completely blinded by rage against the idea of legal marriage so anything I say won't be read with unbiased eyes you already have your opinion and have made it very clear that you don't care what anyone else has to say. I can tell the difference between what you are doing and an honest debate.

Really quick though I never said the benefits of legal marriage couldn't be gotten elsewhere with other types of legally binding contracts I just said legal marriage made it easier.

Though I completely agree with AV in his last post. But I know your response to that is going to be once again try to make the distinction between legal marriage and marriage.

Has it ever occurred to you that the reason I keep making that distinction, is because there IS one? One that most people are ignorantly unaware of?

I accept the concession of defeat however.

*can't contain the RAGE!*

[Acturus]

Of course they can't articulate it well, because if you ask someone the reason they got *legally* married...cause you know, you could of had that baller ass party and wedding ceremony anyways without signing a marriage license...they instantly realize they do not have a reason other than society expects it of them.

Doing things "just because" is never a valid reason, and is why they should be questioned about what value they add, in this case, none.

[...]

I want to repeat this again, THERE IS NOTHING PREVENTING PEOPLE FROM GETTING MARRIED WITHOUT SIGNING FOR A MARRIAGE LICENSE.

I don't disagree with your point of view, but I'd like to explore the thought process behind it a bit more, if you will. You seem to be arguing against marriage as a social construct, a legal process, a binding document recognized by governments:

A marriage license affords my wife and I certain things that we are unable to get otherwise. Chiefly amongst those is a tax break, followed up by cheaper health insurance. In addition, since I love and trust my wife, this affords me a safety net when dealing with decisions that must be made about me and my possessions in the unlikely event that I am incapacitate and unable to make rational choices. And the list goes on...

Granted, I bet that a logical way to grant me each of these measures can be found outside of a marriage license, but no other single document to my knowledge accomplishes this task for the pittance that I paid for it. And the bomb-ass party with super awesome cake and shiney presents. You can't forget that either.

There is a difference between "marriage" and "wedding", and perhaps others in this thread are not making that distinction.

There are most certainly benefits to engaging in a legally binding social contract like marriage. Darus, you do seem to ignore these points in your arguments, instead trying to line up the legal act of marrying another individual as part of some antiquated ceremony with no modern benfit.

I feel that it's just not accurate for you to do so.