BG relationships - help me explain...

[Naggi]

Pretty much my bf is working in a really shitty small town in Canada until October.

He wants me to go up there with him but I told him no, I want to stay here and pursue my job and be with my friends.

He then says I don't care about him, I'm using him and if I really wanted to be with him I'd go up there to be with him until he comes back home.

more info: I went up there with him already for a month 1/2 but got deported because of my DUI, I then got the DUI expunged and that's why he wants me to go back up there. I also JUST started my job.

I feel like what he's saying is kind of true but just because I don't want to go back up there doesn't mean I don't want to be with him. I'm just wondering if there's anyway to explain it to him better. Because all he does is twist what I'm saying into me not wanting to be with him.

beyond irritating. I'm pretty sure there's no way to salvage the relationship but I don't want to give up yet.

Dear, the way he's trying to guilt trip you and hound you with his ex issues just sounds horribly controlling and suffocating. As previous posters have said, relationships are give and take. No sensible person would demand you up and disrupt your own life heavily just to move for just a few months. The manner in which he's trying to persuade you seems a little childish in my opinion.... are you honestly really happy with him?

EDIT: Oops, didn't see your final post.

[Kaisha]

Really, if there's no other way to explain it to him except for "deal with it" I think it's gunna be a no-go. I feel like I've given up a lot already and it's my turn to be selfish

You're not being selfish. As mentioned earlier in the thread, relationships are give and take. If he ends up being unable to deal with it , then chalk it up to him just not being the right person for you and move on with life.

I mean, ffs it's just four months, that's way too much to ask for you to move, get a new job, and then be back your old home just as you get settled in and end up having to look for yet another job.

[kuronosan]

If your relationship can't withstand 4 months of hardship, how the fuck will it last the rest of your lives?

[Lee]

It's not gonna last, you know what they say about homos and relationships.

[Weiing]

I know you've made your decision but... if you decided to end it, it may have been for the better because it seems like this could have evolved into an abusive relationship.

Hope you're happy with whatever solution you decided and best of luck to you.

[SephYuyX]

It's not gonna last, you know what they say about homos and relationships.

They say theyre gay for the love, not the sex, but end up fucking during the first meeting, and every other 2hrs after that point for 2 months, then break up because their asses arent tight anymore?

[Mjd]

If your relationship can't withstand 4 months of hardship, how the fuck will it last the rest of your lives?

If this is the case, end it.

I had the same thing. She moved to Texas, I stayed in NY. I went down during Thanksgiving, we argued about our relationship and broke up on Christmas eve (she was hammered, I was going out to dinner with some friends).

He's probably jealous you're having a grand ol' time and got a new job. Don't play his mind games.



The one mistake I made was getting pissed off about this whole issue and not moving forward with my own life. I was seeing one girl during this whole thing and let it slip through my fingers, but while that sucked and I lost her I gained something better (and I got a lot play out of it).



Oh and the one who went to Texas, she got kicked out of her apartment, lost her car and moved back to NY living with her parents.