Am I a douche?

[zoobernut]

Chalk it up to a learning experience. It sucks but sometimes you screw up and there is nothing you can do about it. Next time you won't attach gifts as a part of love. News flash the people who love you more because you buy them shit are not the kind of people you want to be with anyway.

I recommend doing your best to forget her and move on pay off your shit then cut up the credit card and find a girl who wants to hang out with you because she likes your personality.


Also it sounds like as much of a bitch as she was you also built up unrealistic expectations when you let her move in with you.

[Yabby]

You said this was an open relationship? Is that something you wanted or she did(From reading the above i take it the later). If so i don't think you were upset by her not telling you as you stated, but by the act itself of her fucking another dude. I think she knew that as well, can could see her meal ticket (Com'on that is what you are in this case) ending if she told you the truth.

Basically she was just a high class whore (Lack of a better word) who had you wrapped around her finger. I'm not sure about your looks or anything so i can't comment, but if your a good looking guy with money (I consider you have some money if you are going out to eat that much while paying the bills yourself) why settle for someone that won't commit to you if that is what you want.

Move on, there are lots of girls that would devote them self to a person would shows that kind of affection.

Edit: I don't think you're a douche for asking, but don't hold your breath. I'm sure she considers every fuck "On the clock"

[Alvein]

oops

[Senoska]

You aren't a douche. You just let pussy fog your better judgement. If letting her move in, buying her expensive gifts, and paying her way on everything don't net you a relationship and she pulls the "friend" card, then you should have stepped away. I've seen this happen to alot of guys. Use it as a lesson learned.

For sure. I'll never do this again. This was a life lesson I'm sure a lot of people learn. I just like making people happy. I've kind of forgot my own needs in this and I'm realizing now what I've done wrong and I just want to know how to fix it and move on with my life. P.s.: where you at in michigan, just wondering >_>?

[Neoscrilla]

I live in Bay City. Oh, and the way to fix it is to cut her off completely, stay away from her, kill it with fire, etc. (Well not literally kill it with fire, but you understand, lol). I see this girl eventually trying to worm her way back into your wallet in the future, but stay strong and tell her to fuck off. Focus, Daniel Son.

[Kuya]

I don't think you're a douche in this instance, but rather, you're a douche for completely different reasons.

[Olo401]

The word you're looking for isn't douche. It's gullible. I've done the same shit and seen the same result.

[Franzer]

girls like this are the all the same. Now that she's been spoon fed for however long she's been at your place, she's gonna try and mooch off this guy. He'll be like fuck no, and kick her out, and she'll try coming back to you. I've seen similar things happen to friends in the past, and sad thing is, if the girl is hot enough, they can pull it off

[Yabby]

I live in Bay City. Oh, and the way to fix it is to cut her off completely, stay away from her, kill it with fire, etc. (Well not literally kill it with fire, but you understand, lol). I see this girl eventually trying to worm her way back into your wallet in the future, but stay strong and tell her to fuck off. Focus, Daniel Son.

^ so much. She got away with more than i thought any logical human would let a girl do. I'm sure she will try to get back with you with what i hope is a magical vag.

[BadKarma]

The only solution is hot sauce on her tampons.


But seriously, no you're not a douche, but quite a few women in their early 20's are vicious bitches only looking for a free ride for a while.

[BadKarma]

The only solution is hot sauce on her tampons.


But seriously, no you're not a douche, but quite a few women in their early 20's are vicious bitches only looking for a free ride for a while.

[zoobernut]

The key is no matter what she says she won't change and things won't be different. If she comes to you and says she wants an exclusive relationship she isn't going to be exclusive she is just saying that as a tool to get back into your house and your wallet. Stay away.

[Darus Grey]

simply put, nobody needs a friend. She's says let's just be friends, you say, i have enough friends, and gtfo. Sad part is, she'll feel bad about herself thinking she sucks, and fuck you later

^

This let's be friends shit has got to stop, there's an entire generation of dudes who thinks this really works, and like you, they get played fucking hard.

You don't tell her being friends is ok, you tell her to GTFO.

This applies without exception.

[Senoska]

I live in Bay City. Oh, and the way to fix it is to cut her off completely, stay away from her, kill it with fire, etc. (Well not literally kill it with fire, but you understand, lol). I see this girl eventually trying to worm her way back into your wallet in the future, but stay strong and tell her to fuck off. Focus, Daniel Son.

I just drove back to Troy from Gaylord. Small world, etc etc. Anyway, no I totally know what's coming. I tried to cut off the relationship and I felt great after I did it. Now, though, she is constantly telling me she wants to work it out but spends nearly ALL of her time at this guys house. I feel like she knew I'd ask for this back if I just up and left her. She's actually at his house right now. I asked if I can come and get it and she told me she's in Lansing and going to see a movie and wont know when she'll be home.

[isladar]

Sweetheart, you gave a person no hard limits whatsoever, asked for nothing, and now you're wondering why they didn't treat you well? Come on.

Why the FUCK do people think that doing this for someone is being "nice"? This isn't how you fucking show someone you care about them. Being a human rug / wallet isn't fucking chivalrous, it's fucking pathetic.

You didn't put the pussy on a pedestal, you dug yourself a hole to stand in. What human being (and I don't care if you're a man or a woman, this shit is universal), could look at someone degrading themselves and say "Wow, I really respect you as a person".

It isn't fucking romantic or devoted or "I'll be the best guy ever if I just give her everything she wants / space / whatever the fuck". All that say is that you don't have the fucking balls to demand to be treated decently. There is NO interaction that is one-way like that.

HINT: The kind of person who would accept you draining yourself out, giving everything, always paying...? This isn't anyone worth your fucking time.

And you know what? Bullshit on you being only upset that she "didn't tell you" she was sleeping with other people. Bullshit. You set up all these little unspoken expectations of buying things and paying attention = pussy for you. And you didn't get that. Because you didn't fucking ask for it.

Why the fuck should she respect you, when you clearly don't respect yourself?

[rezn0r]

i don't think you're a douche, but worrying about the ps3 seems a bit pointless. money sucks, but it's one big learning experience, and if you are willing to write off $4700 in money spent on this learning experience then what's another $300 (17%)? since you already brought it up who knows, maybe she'll hand it back over to you, but i wouldn't dwell on it. i would however immediately start trying to move on and forget about her, don't keep her in your life "as a friend" or anything else. i know you said she's been staying at this other guy's place but change your locks if she has keys and box up any of her shit you have lying around and get it out of sight.

i don't think it's wrong for you to be upset about her sleeping with that guy, or anyone else, even if you were agreeing to an "open relationship" - but this is why i would never ever be in an open relationship...

at this rate in just a few years you'll be like everyone else who has gone through this crap before, a lonely alcoholic who is unable to trust another human being, and sometimes it's better that way. that's 50% a joke by the way.

[shindycat]

Yea, I would stop talking to her completely. especially since you are the type of guy who buys gifts for people you don't even like. What would stop you from putting yourself back in that position?

She probably was thinking she was out-smarting you the whole time..and honestly I wouldn't put it past a girl like that to try it again.

[Franzer]

just forget about the ps3 at this point and leave that as the last conversation you have with her. Most importantly, dont fell bad about not answering her texts for the next like 3-4 weeks, and just completely ignore her.

[antihero]

if she tries to get back with you, hatefuck the shit out of her and then kick her to the curb pepper potts style ala iron man 1. hatefucking is good for the soul. in fact, use cialis or viagra so you can really bury it

[Senoska]

I do respect myself. I told her to go once I found out. I'm not someone she can just walk all over. She offered to pay for things, I just always turned her down. I think guys are there to support and make their girls happy. Thats the role I like to play, and that's who I am. The part that makes me mad is honesty is respect, and she has shown me none. I cut it off right there and chances are decent that we'll never be talking again, and even if we did, I'd never give her another chance to get into my heart.

I showered her in gifts because I loved her. And this is even harder because this is my first girl I'll seriously say I fell in love with. Shit, to be totally honest, this is the girl I actually lost my v-card with. Highschool was highschool. This is beyond that. I told her I wanted a serious relationship, she wanted a casual one. I'd take a cut to casual on the condition she is honest, but she couldn't even give me that.