Am I a douche?

[Gadritan]

Really, really hope you learn from this and don't fall into a vicious cycle of dealing with bitches like this until you finally get burned out on it after your ex-gf gets married and pregnant 3 months after you break up after finding out she cheated on you with 12 other dudes while you were together and become a recluse who prefers to wrap it tap it and leave it rather than risk going through another emotional roller-coaster because you let your guard down and got emotional with shit.

*takes a breath*

I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

[Zilo]

Just ignore the bitch when she's hanging around friends that you know or, if its too awkward, just say that you don't want to hang around the bitch-demon and walk away. Its not that hard to find a simple solution.

As for the whole situation you did set yourself up for it. . . . . . . .badly. Showing affection through gifts shows that you are a sucker son and, to be honest, I don't think you'll get them back because YOU DID GIVE THEM TO HER AS GIFTS. She has every right to keep them and wanting that shit back is a douche move (as much as it kills me to say that).

[Byrthnoth]

To echo Isladar's opinion, being a strong person is the first step to having a healthy relationship. You have to have priorities and goals of your own. The person you're dating cannot start at the top of the hierarchy, they must earn their rank. If you're going to make a superficial romantic gesture like bringing flowers to a first date or picking up the bill, mark it as showmanship rather than a sign of endearment.

If all you want is to make another person happy, then you aren't a romantic; you're a leech. You leech their goals, their happiness, their life.

It sounds like you've lived for a just a few years. This is not the end, and you have plenty of time left ahead of you. Fill up your life with things other than chicks (read, play video games, get excited about stuff), and let the chicks work their way in. You don't have to start every first date with a lecture on your hobbies, but you should make it obvious that you have interests and thoughts.

Being autonomously happy with your life is very worthwhile, and without that it's a lot harder to be in a relationship where you aren't baggage in some way.

[Senoska]

Well, I bought it for her for us, really. That being said, I have as much ownership in this as she does and she knew thats whats up. Further more, I called her and she told me she'd give it to me but she's out at this guys house seeing a movie and apparently will let me know when she makes it home. Its amazing how quickly she can flip the bitch-switch and be in love with another guy. I'm pretty amazed, to be honest. Chances are good I'm going to be that guy that wants nothing to do with people for awhile. I invested ALL of my trust in her. I even believed her at first about not going to this guys house until my mind told me how it was.

[CalaisDL]

You sound like you're still pretty hung up on this girl. You must avoid getting sucked back in to all the drama with her at all costs. Cut off contact with her completely. Forget the PS3. I suspect she'll use it as ransom to keep you talking to her. Consider this an expensive lesson in relationships. Focus on your shit. Work, school, hobbies or whatever. Eat right, get up early, and get some exercise. With more confidence and self-esteem you'll attract a better kind of girl and you'll set your standards a bit higher than someone willing to sleep with you in return for free food and lodging.

[Tyrath]

No. Over all the time I've known her, I spent $5k on her.

Maybe its because I don't end up staying in relationships too long or because most of my money goes to school and shit, but you've spent 5k on this girl over 2 years? Holy shit. Maybe I'm just a cheap fuck, but that number seems a little ridiculous to me.

[isladar]

How could she have been in anyway invested in you? She didn't have to do any work, kiddo.

[warlordtum]

Sounds like ur a dumbass

[Serif]

I spent $5k on her.

wut

[Neoscrilla]

Well, I bought it for her for us, really. That being said, I have as much ownership in this as she does and she knew thats whats up. Further more, I called her and she told me she'd give it to me but she's out at this guys house seeing a movie and apparently will let me know when she makes it home. Its amazing how quickly she can flip the bitch-switch and be in love with another guy. I'm pretty amazed, to be honest. Chances are good I'm going to be that guy that wants nothing to do with people for awhile. I invested ALL of my trust in her. I even believed her at first about not going to this guys house until my mind told me how it was.

The thing that sucks is, that dude is playing your PS3 right now probably. Cut that shit loose, PS3 included, and get a slim model. You must do everything possible to stay away from this chick.

Oh, she is probably living with that guy too and he is a broke dumb fuck, so she is getting sick of that shit.

[Tyrath]

wut

Ok, glad I'm not the only one who went "wait..what?" at that.

[Senoska]

Maybe its because I don't end up staying in relationships too long or because most of my money goes to school and shit, but you've spent 5k on this girl over 2 years? Holy shit. Maybe I'm just a cheap fuck, but that number seems a little ridiculous to me.

Its not hard when she lives with you, you eat out every day, party a lot, and still buy gifts. I'm not a really cheap guy. When I eat out, I like to eat nice. Good food is what drives me in life and she was the same way, sort of. So I always splurged a little for dinner. I don't think there isnt a restaurant within 100 miles of my house I haven't eaten at. Not to mention we went to the bar a lot and our bar tab was usually $150-200 and we'd always buy a hotel room near the bar which was $60 a night. It adds up, man.

edit: Keep in mind I'm holding her portion of the rent, utilities, food, etc against her. Its not all gifts. With the money she saved, she managed to buy a car last week. If that means anything.

[Senoska]

The thing that sucks is, that dude is playing your PS3 right now probably. Cut that shit loose, PS3 included, and get a slim model. You must do everything possible to stay away from this chick.

Ahaha, I know he is. Thats what kills me. Last night on Facebook she posted she was drinking and smoking which automatically implies shes with this guy at this point. an hour later she had the ps3 update an achievement on facebook. She totally took it with her. I asked her to drop it off at my house on the way back and shes like "I just logged into my PSN account at his house." shurrrr.

[Ksandra]

Its not hard when she lives with you, you eat out every day, party a lot, and still buy gifts. I'm not a really cheap guy. When I eat out, I like to eat nice. Good food is what drives me in life and she was the same way, sort of. So I always splurged a little for dinner. I don't think there isnt a restaurant within 100 miles of my house I haven't eaten at. Not to mention we went to the bar a lot and our bar tab was usually $150-200 and we'd always buy a hotel room near the bar which was $60 a night. It adds up, man.

that's not helping your case.

Crazy bitch aside, you need to learn to budget better. I've met too many kids in the past 2 years that are only 25 and already 15k$ in credit card debt.

IDC if you're going to be a world class doctor, sooner you learn how to handle it, the better.

[Serif]

Its not hard when she lives with you, you eat out every day, party a lot, and still buy gifts. I'm not a really cheap guy. When I eat out, I like to eat nice. Good food is what drives me in life and she was the same way, sort of. So I always splurged a little for dinner. I don't think there isnt a restaurant within 100 miles of my house I haven't eaten at. Not to mention we went to the bar a lot and our bar tab was usually $150-200 and we'd always buy a hotel room near the bar which was $60 a night. It adds up, man.

edit: Keep in mind I'm holding her portion of the rent, utilities, food, etc against her. Its not all gifts. With the money she saved, she managed to buy a car last week. If that means anything.

Good news is you aren't a douche.

Bad news is that you are already on the way of becoming a trout. Or you might already be one.

[Divinius]

Chances are good I'm going to be that guy that wants nothing to do with people for awhile. I invested ALL of my trust in her.

When you are bordering on misogynistic, you are ready to start dating again. And you'll be a hit with the ladies too. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but it's really not.

[Tyrath]

Its not hard when she lives with you, you eat out every day, party a lot, and still buy gifts. I'm not a really cheap guy. When I eat out, I like to eat nice. Good food is what drives me in life and she was the same way, sort of. So I always splurged a little for dinner. I don't think there isnt a restaurant within 100 miles of my house I haven't eaten at. Not to mention we went to the bar a lot and our bar tab was usually $150-200 and we'd always buy a hotel room near the bar which was $60 a night. It adds up, man.

Well, not to be a dick, but if it's putting you in debt I would reconsider your living style a little bit. Everyone likes to live big, but you have to take into account your financial situation before you decide to do so everyday. I would love to go out and eat fancy everyday and have $200 bar tabs all the day, but I can't. I'm paying for school an live on a budget and have to adjust around that.

Best advice I can give you that doesn't simply amount to 'bitches and whores' is to pay off your Credit card debt and then stop using the card. Get a debit card, live on a budget you can afford until you get yourself in a better financial situation. Otherwise one day your lifestyle is gonna come back and kick you in the ass when you're knee deep in debt.

[Milkster]

You live in Michigan? Never knew that. I also live in here/there. May be I need to be your wingman slap some sense into you...
At any rate Isladar is right. You brought this upon yourself. An open relationship where you don't care who she fucks as long as she tells you? That's basically saying "you're too good for me but as long as I can say with have something that looks like a relationship, I'll be happy."
If this relationship was open did you hook up with anyone else?

[Zilo]

Keep in mind I'm holding her portion of the rent, utilities, food, etc against her. Its not all gifts. With the money she saved, she managed to buy a car last week. If that means anything.

Not really because she still didn't invest into the relationship that you both could have benefited out of. All she did was use whatever money she had on luxuries she wasn't able to have before. Improving herself rather then the relationship etc etc its all been said before.

[Headspace]

For those in the know..I feel much better reading this thread