In this thread, I lament.

[Mertron]

I have never once gotten a blowjob that I would consider to be good. Any time I have been fortunate enough to have a woman wrap her lips around Mertron Junior, I usually sit there for a minute and go, "k can I plow you yet."

This popped into my head for some reason today, and thought I would cool story bro you all for no reason.

[Xajii]

i like it when i'm dead fuckin tired, nice to just lay there, even if it's shitty as long as she isn't just drooling all over your junk like a pug dog or something

[Conrad]

This popped into my head

tee hee

[Ikarys]

you have my sympathies buddy, there are some girls with massive issues, just broken beyond repair, who give insane head. When I was your age I got a 30 minute BJ from a classmate while she played herself in the full length mirror, I nearly cried like a kid being dragged out of a toy store because I didn't want it to end.

[Ikarys]

When I was your age

please tell me you are 16 so I don't have to amend this statement

[Mertron]

you have my sympathies buddy, there are some girls with massive issues, just broken beyond repair, who give insane head. When I was your age I got a 30 minute BJ from a classmate while she played herself in the full length mirror, I nearly cried like a kid being dragged out of a toy store because I didn't want it to end.

the girls with issues I have been with sucked at sucking. And two of them "didnt do oral."

such bullshit

also, whats this when I was your age bullshit

[Mertron]

please tell me you are 16 so I don't have to amend this statement

fucking lol

makes my plight even sadder, doesnt it?

[Ikarys]

two of them "didnt do oral."

please tell me they didn't say it with that haughty emphasis like "I don't do oral", sounding like they are trying to imitate the girls at the start of Baby got Back

truly, what the hell is wrong w/ these wimmins

[Conrad]

Also

Mertron Junior

You should have said "my noodle" instead.

[Conrad]

Because your name is Spaghetti.

[Conrad]

...get it

[Lucienne]

Maybe you just have a really big dick. It's much harder to do anything reasonable when your main concern is to not bite or choke.
I hope that was of some comfort.

[tyven]

i got it skirkle

[QuePsiXI]

i got it skirkle

lmao.

So the ones I got this week were both good, and then I discussed it with my female friend, who then went into a rant about how A) I wasn't giving an honest answer, and B) all head isn't good.

[QuePsiXI]

This then led to an argument. So the moral of the story is, I shoulda stuck my dick in her mouth rather than call her.

[QuePsiXI]

Learn from my mistakes, gentlemen. And Lucienne.

[benjamus]

"there is no such thing as a fat ugly blowjob"
from clerks i think? seemed relevant ->

[Mizango]

Maybe you just have a really big dick. It's much harder to do anything reasonable when your main concern is to not bite or choke.
I hope that was of some comfort.

Wrong. I fall into that category and have had some outstanding Bj's, this is clearly a case where the bitch simply doesnt know wtf.

Also, we aren't in the business of making niggas feel good, stop that. Although Mert is my nigga, I cant condone such stroking of his ego.

[Mertron]

i would settle for some stroking of my cock

with tongue

[Mertron]

And yeah bad head is still good head (unless she bites I guess), im just saying ive never had WOAH NELLIE head