.Irish car bombs

[Ksandra]

skirkle is being a know-it-all today

[#686578]

I have a bionic penis

[#686578]

First google result for bionic penis

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13509704/
Man with 10-year erection awarded $400,000

Malfunctioning penile implant is painful and can't be removed

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.
Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.
But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said.
In 2004, a jury awarded him $750,000. A judge called that excessive and reduced it to $400,000. On Friday, the Rhode Island Supreme Court affirmed that award in a ruling that turned on a procedural matter.
"I don't know any man who for any amount of money would want to trade and take my client's life," said Jules D'Alessandro, Lennon's attorney. "He's not a whole person."
A lawyer representing both Dura-II manufacturer Dacomed Corp. and the company's insurer declined to comment. Dacomed maintained that nothing was wrong with the implant.
The implant consists of a series of plastic plates strung together with steel surgical wire, almost like a roll of wrapped coins. Springs press against the plates, creating enough surface tension to simulate an erection, D'Alessandro said.
Lennon cannot get the implant removed because of health problems, including open-heart surgery, his lawyer said. Impotence drugs could not help Lennon even if he were able to have the device taken out, because tissue had be to removed for it to be implanted.
Dacomed was later acquired by a California company whose sales dropped when Viagra was introduced on the market. The company filed for bankruptcy the following year.

[Conrad]

I have a bionic penis

well that's not very practical for anything

[Ksandra]

Dacomed maintained that nothing was wrong with the implant.

I mean, it's a standard thing to say, but seriously?

[#686578]

Valerie Jamieson: Well one of the most interesting bionic body parts is the bionic penis and this is for men for whom Viagra just simply doesn’t do the job and for these men who have erectile dysfunction it’s clearly a huge problem for them. And so what the bionic penis is is an implant. A couple of cylinders are placed in the erectile cavities in the penis. They are areas that would fill up with blood whenever you get excited normally, and within the wall of the abdomen there’s also placed a chamber full of saline salty water and then there’s also a pump that’s placed in the scrotum. This is more of a mechanical device rather than the devices we’ve been talking about that connect into the brain. So whenever you wanted to get an erection you would simply squeeze the pump in the scrotum a few times and you would get an erection; the salty water would fill the chambers and you would have a stunning erection.

[#686578]

well that's not very practical for anything

It is practical for robosexing

[Conrad]

stunning erection

[#686578]

Your silly fleshy penises are too weak to handle a robovagina, but if you had a robopenis you couldnt have sex with a human vagina. A bionic penis is the best of both worlds.

[#686578]

Dont confuse a bionic penis with a cyber penis however. Those are completely different.

[Ksandra]

Valerie Jamieson: Well one of the most interesting bionic body parts is the bionic penis and this is for men for whom Viagra just simply doesn’t do the job and for these men who have erectile dysfunction it’s clearly a huge problem for them. And so what the bionic penis is is an implant. A couple of cylinders are placed in the erectile cavities in the penis. They are areas that would fill up with blood whenever you get excited normally, and within the wall of the abdomen there’s also placed a chamber full of saline salty water and then there’s also a pump that’s placed in the scrotum. This is more of a mechanical device rather than the devices we’ve been talking about that connect into the brain. So whenever you wanted to get an erection you would simply squeeze the pump in the scrotum a few times and you would get an erection; the salty water would fill the chambers and you would have a stunning erection that can shoot bullets.

ftfy

[#686578]

tl;dr I barely read the original

[#686578]

oh wait I see

[Ksandra]

it's at the end and can only help your case

[#686578]

I like it

[Conrad]

>(

[mootsfox]

Car bombs Yessssssssssssssssss

[#686578]

Car bombs have nothing to do with foxes though

[TheShadyMan]

I suppose a fox could be in the car.

[Colenzo]

we could only hope for this much