[Lindblum] Hot Chocolate Corps: Hardcore Friendship Experience

[Lorelai]

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Bonsoir and the like, BG.

Hot Chocolate Corps is a hardcore social linkshell based on the Lindblum server that aims to set new standards in the field of socialising.

We're looking to recruit only the most lovely people in existence. The ideal applicant would be a fun loving player who shares our view that making friends – hardcore friends – is as enjoyable as progressing in-game.

I needn't ask if you’re interested, so let’s get on with it.

We expect you to be online at some point, I suppose, but goodness knows that when you are online you best be doing whatever the hell you want. We understand that you may want to grind most of the time, and that's cool, but if we're all ruffling up squirrels and the like every hour of the mother loving day, how are we supposed to find the time to complement each other's hairstyles?

Think about that.

Our friendship schedule isn't exclusive to any particular time zone, although you should be advised that we often enjoy getting messed up on hot chocolate in the reals and then sleeping it off; but you'll most likely find someone online who's prepared to listen to you warble on about how awesome you are, if you're into that. Goodness knows I am!

We also have a bit of a military theme going on or some such nonsense so look forward to that. '-'

If you've made it to this point without drowning in a pool of your own vitriol, and you're ready to experience camaraderie the likes of which your insipid little eyes have yet to witness during your time here on planet earth, then realign your internet experience to this word, separated by full stops: www.hotchocolatecorps.co.uk

Thanks for reading; unless this is the first line of the post you've read. In which case, what’s that about? I thought you were cool.

End message. (`- ´)>

[Lorelai]

We're still looking for squishy champions of justice - or delinquent half-breeds, whatever - to join our collection of chocolate loving fiends. Here's some more information about our ranking system:

Upon joining the Hot Chocolate Corps, you may be wondering: "Why, for the love of bread, are member's names prefixed by a military rank (and what on earth does it all mean?)" Well first of all, calm down; there's no need to get so angry. Secondly, you can't talk within brackets in real life so stop being silly.

The ranking system works as follows:

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Cadet: Upon joining the Hot Chocolate Corps you will be assigned the rank of Cadet; because you are green, squishy, and possibly delicious.

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Lieutenant: Lieutenants are members that have achieved outstanding merit in the field of, I don't know, smelling nice or some such nonsense. They are 13% more and/or less sexy than cadets, but always 12% less sexy than Colonels.

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Colonel: Sweet colonels are forum moderators and sometimes sack holders, depending on which way the wind blows (that's a euphemism for cash bribes). Us Generals rely on them to do the hard work whilst we throw dice against a wall. '-'

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Lieutenant General: Lieutenant Generals enjoy the honour of being co-admins and sack holders. They carry out the General's work if the General is AFK, tired, or too messed up on hot chocolate to function.

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General: Our General deals with applications, is the admin of the forum, and (glorious) leader of the Hot Chocolate Corps. Some people say that the General sometimes refers to herself in the third person, but they are dirty liars and the General pays them no mind.

Having said all of that, we don't take this ranking system too seriously, it's mostly so we can attach insignia and hilarious prefixes to our names. We debate as a group and welcome all opinions; regardless of how indecipherably ridiculous they are. *nods*

I'm not going to say that joining the Hot Chocolate Corps will be the greatest thing you ever do; but by typing that I've just heavily implied it.

Head here to win: www.hotchocolatecorps.co.uk

In conclusion: \(*`¬`)/

[Lorelai]

We've been lucky enough to attract some fantastic members to our shell over the last week or so, and we're looking to keep the metaphorical ball rolling with standard release now upon us.

To clarify, we're looking for human FFXIV players on the Lindblum server that enjoy rolling into the sunset; undressing people with their eyes; replying to the rhetorical questions that advertisements pose; folding ham into pretty shapes (hamigami); keeping it well vague; running at precisely thirteen miles per hour; and sharing anecdotes that have no beginning or middle.

If that's you, or indeed the opposite of you, and you haven't already eaten your only good arm in excitement then dial www.hotchocolatecorps.co.uk into your computer to experience a warm, fuzzy feeling in all the wrong places.