NFL Week 4: Shit Mod

[Headspace]

Yeah but that was when he was single and was too busy getting herpes in South Beach before Miami games.

Now he's married, so he's not having any kind of sex before games.

[Bregor]

Record: 15-16-1 ATS

Detroit at Green Bay (-14.5) - After playing good football in the first two weeks, Detroit looked like the Lions of old, getting steamrolled by AD and the Vikes last week. The Shaun Hill experience continues. Meanwhile, Aaron Rodgers will likely go ragemode after losing a nail-biter to the Bears on MNF. Still, without a solid ground game, I don't see Green Bay pulling away by three scores. Packers to win, Lions to cover.

Denver at Tennessee (-6.5) - The Titans got back on track in a big way, after being shut down by Pittsburgh, they answer with a huge road win agains the Fightin' Elis. I see more of the same at home. Maroney is supposedly the featured back now in Denver. That's not a good thing. Orton throws for 450+ again, and loses again. Titans to win and cover.

Cincinnati at Cleveland (+3) - Cleveland has led in the fourth quarter in all three games this year, and managed to lose them all. I think STO has enough file footage of Mangini looking helpless and confused to last until the Rapture. Palmer should get on track against a secondary that made Joe Flacco look like Joe Namath. Cincy wins and covers.

Carolina at New Orleans (-14) - Poor Carolina, they just can't catch a break. Mustering a league-worst 32 points in the first three weeks, the vaunted Williams/Stewart tandem has averaged less than 90 combined rushing yards per game and only has one total TD. Now they have to face a Saints team coming off an overtime loss. Put Breesus down for 4+ TD, Saints win big.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh (-1.5) - Game of the week, fuck the McNabb in Philly hype. Batch/Dixon might have led the Steelers through the first three weeks, but this is the Ravens defense here. Did Cleveland and Peyton Hillis expose some weaknesses in the ground game? Pittsburgh better hope so, because as goes Mendenhall, so goes this game. I think the Ravens shut it down and make enough big plays with Boldin and Rice to get the upset win.

New York Jets at Buffalo (+5.5) - This is two offensive explosions in a row now for the Jets, and Mark Sanchez has yet to throw a pick. They haven't racked up the yards yet, but they've been effective enough when it counts. Meanwhile, is there a franchise in more disarray than the Bills? They've already cut their week one starting quarterback, and aside from Spiller, there's really no upside here. Jets win and cover easily.

San Francisco at Atlanta (-7) - Speaking of disarray, the 49ers have a new offensive coordinator after a lackluster performance by Smith, Gore and company thus far. They seemed hung over from a bad loss to the Saints, and who knows how long it will take to revive them. On the flip side, no one got a bigger win (against the Saints, no less) than Atlanta did last week. Those kinds of wins are what can launch a season into something special. Better still, Turner finally got rolling and looks to be as healthy as Moss assured me he was before my money league's draft. Falcons win and cover.

Seattle at St. Louis (+1) - The Rams, minus Steven Jackson, embarrassed the Deadskins last week en route to their first September win since the Reagan administration. (Not really.) On the other side, the 'Hawks have been just as surprising, taking it to a sleepwalking Chargers team last week. I get no real vibe here, but I'm guessing Jackson sits, so I'll go with experience at QB. Seattle wins in a close one.

Indianapolis at Jacksonville (+8) - I was shocked to hear on PTI today (Yes, I watch PTI. I get ESPN at work. Sue me.) that Peyton Manning is off to his best statistical start ever. Austin Collie must be the second coming of Marvin Harrison. The Colts "other" receiver gets it going this week as Wayne puts up big numbers on the Jags. If Jacksonville's offensive trend continues, they'll score -6 points this week. That sounds about right. Colts win and cover.

Houston at Oakland (+3) - How the mighty have fallen. The Texans were supposed to be the best team in football until Dallas finally got to them. Now they're only favored by a field goal against the lowly Raiders. Unless losing by 1 to Arizona is impressive, I haven't seen much from Oakland that convinces me this will be competitive. Still, it should be interesting to see how Houston reacts to coming off a deflating loss. I'm guessing they will answer with a big offensive day. Texans win and cover.

Arizona at San Diego (-8.5) - Who are the Chargers, anyway? The explosiveness just isn't there, as the LaDanian/VJax-less has sputtered in the clutch. Rivers is putting up numbers by spreading the ball around, but the bottom line is this team is 1-2 and looking for answers. Arizona, on the other hand, might be the worst 2-1 team in recent memory. Someone tell Derek Anderson that LFitz needs the damn ball. I see both teams scoring in the 20s this week, with the Bolts getting the much-needed win. Arizona covers the 8 and a hook.

Washington at Philadelphia (-5.5) - Remember week one, when the 'Skins were a playoff favorite with a veteran Pro Bowl QB and a shutdown defense? Neither do I. There's no reason that Vickadelphia can't keep it rolling at home, and should be the NFC Least favorite from here on out. Eagles win and cover.

Chicago at New York Giants (-3.5) - Wait, what? The 3-0 Bears are a dog to the 1-2 Giants? Really? The Tom Coughlin hot seat keeps getting warmer as the G-men struggle to score against quality defenses. Much to my surprise, Cutler only has 2 picks in 3 games. Forte has looked great in the passing game, but this week he'll carry it for 100 on the ground. Bears win in the upset.

New England at Miami (+1) - Does anyone else hate how slowly Jon Gruden talks during those Goddamned MNF commercials? Anyway, I really liked Miami's defense heading into last week, and they give up 31 to Sanchez. Boo. The Pats should have handed Buffalo their asses on a platter but they almost let that game slip away. You can sure as hell bet that Belichick isn't going to let that happen again. New England wins and covers.

[Headspace]

You didn't link teams brah.

[Tajin]

New York Jets @ Buffalo
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
Denver @ Tennessee
Detroit @ Green Bay
San Francisco @ Atlanta
Carolina @ New Orleans - Saints play like shit but still, lolpanthers >.>
Seattle @ St Louis
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Houston @ Oakland - Oak gonna get raped anyway
Washington McNabbs @ Philly Vicks - Fucking vicks /bandwagoners
Arizona @ San Diego
Chicago @ NYG - lolManning
New England @ Miami

[Bregor]

You didn't link teams brah.

anyone that needs to click on a teams website should suck a dick.

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f3...nnati-reds.jpg

[tyven]

THATS WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT

[Akiyama]

by cake ass nigga, do you mean me? or Tyche? if so, it can only mean me as -V- cake and all. Also I don't make threads anyway. Bah. Nice work, HS.

[Krandor]

I hate to say this, but I think Miami will beat NE.

Pats have won 6/7 last Monday night games, but Tom Brady doesn't play well in Miami.

*On The Road

New York Jets @ Buffalo
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh - Hate myself for this pick but the Steeler's D is just too hot
Denver @ Tennessee
Detroit @ Green Bay
San Francisco @ Atlanta - My heart says 9ers will make the playoffs, but my brain says "fu r-tard"
Carolina @ New Orleans
Seattle @ St Louis - I still can't accept Seattle as being legit, and I think the Rams will be fired up after finally winning at home
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Houston @ Oakland
Washington @ Philly
Arizona @ San Diego
Chicago @ Ze Football Giants
New England @ Miami - Yeah contradicting, but I'm trusting the Pats to win road games this year

[Stiker]

Headspace, I may not agree with you on pretty much anything. But well fucking done on the title and thread.

Miz, take notes.

[Plow]

by cake ass nigga, do you mean me? or Tyche? if so, it can only mean me as -V- cake and all. Also I don't make threads anyway. Bah. Nice work, HS.

I'm white as fuck and I still lol'd @ this post.

[Rhinox]

Hey guys what's going on in here LOL

[Valisk]

Last Week: 8-8
Season: 28-20

New York Jets @ Buffalo
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
Denver @ Tennessee
Detroit @ Green Bay
San Francisco @ Atlanta
Carolina @ New Orleans
Seattle @ St Louis
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Houston @ Oakland
Washington @ Philadelphia
Arizona @ San Diego
Chicago @ New York Giants
New England @ Miami

[Diamicles]

Yeah, sure, pick against Chicago all year because everyone thought they were terrible and now you won't because the Giants apparently suck more than the Bears do even though the G-Men are favored? /headexplode

QUIT PICKIN CHICAGO OR DITKA WILL COME FOR YOU

Road dogs are gonna get it done in NY though for srs, how the fuck is NY favored in that game?

[notorious bum]

It will probably be a shootout, but I really can't see Chicago coming out with a W.

[Rhinox]

lol

I think the bears are gonna have to go undefeated before people would start giving them credit even then they probably won't.

This is gonna be a statement game. I think the Bears win big but weirder shit has happen.

From all the reports from NFL analysts around the league Merrill hodge,John Clayton, Rodney Harrison the giants are just a bad team.

[Krandor]

Yeah, sure, pick against Chicago all year because everyone thought they were terrible and now you won't because the Giants apparently suck more than the Bears do even though the G-Men are favored? /headexplode

QUIT PICKIN CHICAGO OR DITKA WILL COME FOR YOU

Road dogs are gonna get it done in NY though for srs, how the fuck is NY favored in that game?

Maybe da Vegas Oddmakers forgot which Manning plays for the football Giants. I can't see how they're not favored either, but then again I've never understood the "science" when it comes to making the line.

And Rhinox is right, despite some quality players, the Giants just suck.

[notorious bum]

I agree, Giants suck, I'm just a sucker for Eli's charming pretty boy looks....<3

[Conrad]

Giants need to win this game if they want to be at all legitimate this year. If they don't, they fall apart entirely.

New York Jets @ Buffalo
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
Denver @ Tennessee
Detroit @ Green Bay
San Francisco @ Atlanta
Carolina @ New Orleans
Seattle @ St Louis
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Houston @ Oakland
Washington @ Philadelphia
Arizona @ San Diego
Chicago @ New York Giants
New England @ Miami

[Diamicles]

skirkdawg knows whats up

[Chun Liroy]

New York Jets @ Buffalo
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
Denver @ Tennessee
Detroit @ Green Bay
San Francisco @ Atlanta
Carolina @ New Orleans
Seattle @ St Louis
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Houston @ Oakland
Washington McNabbs @ Philly Vicks
Arizona @ San Diego - upset special 2.0
Chicago @ NYG
New England @ Miami