FFXI friend's unique life situation - read/discuss lol

[Questionable]

I wasn't sure of what to write in the title honestly, because it's such a weird and unhealthy lifestyle. But I want to see what people think and what could be done about his ways.

It maybe somewhat of a cliche view of us gamers (I'm a girl so maybe for most 'guy' gamers), but he is kind of what that southpark episode portrayed.

So his life is/was like this:

His life was regular like any other person during highschool but he claimed he hated it, so after his completion of high school ( about 8-9 years ago, he's 26 now), his parents divorced. His Dad left, and apparently that "devastated" him. His brothers said he stopped being normal and got very aggressive at situations when it involved something and especially his Dad.

Shortly after he began playing I think some other online game before FFXI, PSO maybe? Not sure but he basically had a job here and there (clerical job) but didn't last, maybe like months at max, so essentially he was jobless from then till now. He started FFXI since it came out on PS2.

Since then, his life never really changed, he lives on games, especially on FFXI. He doesn't have a job and leeches off his mother and doesn't even attempt to find a job but plays on FFXI as much as he can. He hardly goes out and his only friends are in game or his pseudo RL friends are his brother's friends.

His mother or brothers won't do anything for his situation, I have no idea why, maybe guilty for the divorce? Anyways basically I'm just shocked at how his life is like this for so long and hasn't changed, no one does anything.

What bothers me most is his perception of time/life. I honestly really don't care if he's going to be jobless from now till whenever but what does bother me and my other FFXI friends is when we do events.

He refuses to sleep at a time that will be more in sync with us for events, yet he has NOTHING to do. So in theory he could sleep at 11am and play at 5pm or sleep at 7pm and wake up and play at 3am in the morning. It does not matter. Point being is he doesn't understand the concept of a non-schedule since he doesn't have any prior obligations. But yet he keeps "staying up" (for our normal people purposes) to 3-4am, then sleeping till 12-1pm.

Also in one instanced he mentioned how "It's a Friday night and I don't want to sleep early" So why does it matter when everyday is a Friday to him? lol

Anyways, just discuss what you think and what can be done if at least for the FFXi portion and not his already ruined life.

[Qalbert]

Delete his account(s)/stage an intervention. It'll piss him the fuck off, but if there's any chance of saving whats left of his life it depends on his friends/family caring enough to stop him. In this case hes like a drug addict, game addiction can actually be a serious issue. I would also suggest counseling if the family can afford it.

[MisterBob]

A "unique life situation" this is not.

[Questionable]

Delete his account(s)/stage an intervention. It'll piss him the fuck off, but if there's any chance of saving whats left of his life it depends on his friends/family caring enough to stop him. In this case hes like a drug addict, game addiction can actually be a serious issue. I would also suggest counseling if the family can afford it.

lol funny how another friend said "stage an intervention" on msn today about him..

Well the thing is he, he quit for 3 months because he couldn't fund his account from "an outside source" (wut? anal?) So during those 3 months he didn't get shit done either, no job nothing, just played offline games on his ps3 that his mom bought him. After a while his mom paid for his account once again and he played, with the ultimatum that he'll try to find a job.(This was like 2 years ago)

So I don't think quitting really works, thing is it's out of our hands, unless I could physically force his mom to kick him out of the house, can't really do much.

[Tythera]

I knew someone who dropped out of high school to power level / sell EQ characters. Some people are just disposed to being a leech and doing nothing with their lives and unless the parents or friends get in their face then nothing will change.

The FFXI portion, if he doesn't want to be awake for events then there's not much you can do. As for life, unless he gets a driving force behind him like I said above then the leeching will continue on till his Mom dies and he takes over the house.

[Qalbert]

Sounds like its more than just a game, but games in general, if you can't remove the addiction, and his mom won't do shit there isnt much to be done.

[Seraph]

This complaining is coming from a person that does FFXI events in the morning? Epic Lulz. For some quick perspective, do you work?

[Nystul]

if you're a hardcore MMO gamer- if you put in significant hours (4-5+ per day, more than 40 per week) into a game like FFXI or WOW or whatever...then you fall into one of two categories (or both):

1. you have a highly addictive personality
2. you're avoiding life

No exceptions. It doesn't have to ruin your life. But there's about jack shit you can do about it. Like any addiction or obsession if the person is unwilling to want to quit or unwilling to deal with the issues he's avoiding then no amount of badgering from you will get it done.

[Vuitton]

Tears of unfathomable sadness!

Sadly, he will remain like this until he gets a reality check, which won't happen unless some sort of crises happens. Since his mother won't do anything, and is funding this lifestyle, an example crises would be his mother dying (for whatever reason.)

This would be a financial reality check, assuming his brothers don't let him leech off them or live with them.

Edit:

Another reality check would be for his mother/brothers to take away the computer and video games. Destroy them, and don't buy him new ones.

He uses games to escape the reality of his life. He can't deal with his own life and is running away from it mentally.

If the games are removed, he'll have nothing to do but be forced to deal with his own reality.

[Questionable]

This complaining is coming from a person that does FFXI events in the morning? Epic Lulz. For some quick perspective, do you work?

What? I'm talking about weekends, if we wanted to do something at 11am, that's too early? Or before conquest tallys on Sunday. He's also PST where as most of us are EST, so that 3 hour hurts us even more when he "wants to sleep late on Friday" mentality kicks in.

[Tyche]

That's not a nice thing to say about Stanislav Seriously, I couldn't tell from the title/text, but you know him in real life, or just as an FFXI friend? If you know him irl, have sex with him and tell him that he can have that all the time if he gets off his ass, gets a job, and has a real social life. Pussy, makes the world go round, pussy makes the world go round. You could have a son or a daughter if you fuck me down, cause pussy makes the world go round.

[Questionable]

Oh and one thing, he mentioned, it maybe some freak crazy romantic attachment to me or something but he said his BS "main reason" for not getting a job is because he likes to hear me nagging on him finding a job or getting his life in line. WTF...

[Vuitton]

Oh and one thing, he mentioned, it maybe some freak crazy romantic attachment to me or something but he said his BS "main reason" for not getting a job is because he likes to hear me nagging on him finding a job or getting his life in line. WTF...

You're his in-game MOM! hahahahaha

[Questionable]

That's not a nice thing to say about Stanislav Seriously, I couldn't tell from the title/text, but you know him in real life, or just as an FFXI friend? If you know him irl, have sex with him and tell him that he can have that all the time if he gets off his ass, gets a job, and has a real social life. Pussy, makes the world go round, pussy makes the world go round. You could have a son or a daughter if you fuck me down, cause pussy makes the world go round.

Who is Stainslav? No just FFXI friend. Naa he's piss ugly IRL, no physical attraction at all. I just really don't get the sleeping thing which is probably tied in with the whole jobless thing. Maybe if he had a job then he'll have normal sleeping hours.

[Mizango]

1.Hire Lynsy.
2.Fap to nudes.
3.?????
4.Profit?


No but seriously, you do need to do something if it comes to the point where you and others are concerned about his well being. I think we all know people that can and are more than willing to put in 80+ hours a week playing FFXI or any other MMO for that matter but maybe not to this guys extent.

Either hope he "gets it one day" or talk to his family and what not and physically intervene. Change his pw, lock his shit out etc. I mean confiscate his Ps2 if need be, but just be forewarned that he will be pissed. Just come up with some sort of plan and do go at it alone. This is a slippery slope no matter how you look at it.

Has he reached Boomer status yet? Or is he still relatively normal so to speak? Liveing such a sedentary lifestyle usually results in massive weight gain assuming he actually moves to eat.

Edit: Also, no girls on the internet etc...

[Dimmauk]

I play FFXI about 10-15 hours a Week, and my wife thinks I play too much.

[Seraph]

If it upsets you that much, kick him from the shell. If you cant be bothered to do that, you shouldn't be complaining. You are not in any position of power over him, so any nagging you toss his way will be dismissed with the easiest excuse he can come up with.

Plus, who doesn't love sleeping in on weekends? That's the only time I get to almost 8 hours a night. >_>

[Tomk]

Do you want to help him or just make fun of him? Sounds like you're just making fun.

I was gonna say inb4showmeyourbewbies but Tyche kinda beat me to it.

[Tyche]

I play FFXI about 10-15 hours a Week, and my wife thinks I play too much.

That's nothing, I don't even play anymore and I get bitched at just for visiting the fucking forums. I recently got her addicted to some pregnancy/mother forums where pregnant hormonal women bitch and whine about their husbands. Now it all works out fine.

[Dench]

You can try to point him in the direction of help, but I think its past an addiction to video games and more of an avoidance of his life. It's a horrible cycle but in the end only he can break it.

If you are really serious about it, to stage a true intervention there has to be consequences to make sure he knows his family and friends are serious. No more buying games, no more playing games with him, no more funding of lifestyle. It can't be half-assed, or he will continue the cycle.