I really don't know.

[ilcw]

GOD, this is just to much for me, I cant stop thinking about him.. but I want to.
Lately its been more confusing than before. Since the last time I posted, everything became more intense, my friendship with "the trainer", my obsession with trying to figure out what he really wants out of it and the sexual tension.

When I posted my last thread, I didn't see him for two days after that. Worst two days in that week, for some reason I think its because him. The first day was just bad luck.. and horrible timing. During work I told myself that I was going to call him less to see if he would call me more. As the day progressed, everything was fine til my aunt came from Cancun and needed a car to drive around for the day. I offered my car so she can do her business, and as shes leaving, he calls me, asking if we were going to do anything today. In my mind I was so relieved that he called. A side of my hoped that he didn't call cause I did not want to keep this cat and mouse shit going. So anyways.. I told him that later cause my aunt was taking my car. So my aunt leaves with the car, 2 mins later I get a call from her saying that she just crashed the car only 2 blocks away... FML! The bitch was trying to get her purse and I guess she turned a lil bit and hit a concrete mailbox. The head of the mailbox rolled on the hood of the car and smashed into the wind shield. At that point I knew that I wasn't going anywhere that night and I told him that we could not chill.

The second day was just me being mad about what happen and taking it out on people that I've been angry with. So that afternoon and I'm with my ex driving around, trying to fix my car and I decided to call my sister in law to see if I can pass by to see my nephew. She said that she didn't want me to come, "another day". The deal with all of this is that, my sister in law found out that I knew that my brother was having an affair with another woman, and now that they aren't together; She does not let me see the kids. Which is bullshit cause I was put in that situation and I didn't have a choice in the matter and I was not going to rat out my own brother even tho is he is a piece of fucking shit. So I went to her house; anyways, and I fought with her, I never fought with this lady in my whole life and shes been like a mother to me when my own was not there. After the fighting I felt depressed and I wanted to see "the trainer" but I couldn't cause I didn't have a car and I wasn't going to make my ex drive me everywhere; plus I already had plans with her. he didn't txt/call me all day and nether did I, but at night he texted me asking if we were going to hang out again. I was so mad that I didn't have a way to pick him up so I could see him.

The next day, I tried calling him but he didn't pick up or text back. I was like Q_Q, I decided call my ex to watch a movie at my house. She came over and before we started watching the movie I needed to buy a blunt to roll up my weed. For some reason otw to 7/11; I decided to call him up to see he if he would pick up and he did. I asked if me and my ex could pass by to see the movie with him and he said yeah, and we went to his house. This was going to be weird cause my ex has not seen him since the three-sum. I thought something freaky was about to go down. we got there and we watched Cruel Intentions (LOL, I swear to god this was the best movie to watch), I haven't seen this movie in a long time and I forgot how good it was. So yeah after the movie, the drinking starts and the music etc etc. Me>her<him while we are dancing to "Shots" from LMAFAO. I back off to lay down cause '99 Oranges' can fuck me up, and am watching them dance, "the trainer" is looking at me and I just get turned on seeing him grinding on her. So I pull my ex to the bed and I take her pants off and start eating her pussy out, I tell him to join me and then we both are eating her out. Sadly it didn't go past that and she didn't want to have sex. She had to leave cause she had work in the morning and I had to go with her cause I didn't have a car but "the trainer" asked me to stay; that he would have a ride for me in the morning. In my mind I was very happy that he wanted me to stay, I felt closer to him than ever before. She left and we went inside to keep on drinking. The night ended like they always do.. all bark no bite.

The next 2 days are so fucking stupid and its mostly my fault so not acting on it, but I got a good reason.

So the next day, He calls me to come over, I go to his house and we start drinking and we played beer pong with his roommates. when the roommates went up to sleep, he and myself were playing the last game and during that time; I noticed that he changed his mood when we were alone. He started flexing and showing off to me. Which was funny to see him do that, had a good laugh. I think this was a turning point for me cause, I'm a person that isn't very amused about shit. For someone to make me laugh its hard, I mean I laugh as much as the next person but with him, its a different atmosphere. So whatever we finish beer pong and.. we go to his room to listen to music. I for some reason get sick and want to throw up, I go to his bathroom to throw up. when I was washing my mouth and I see a bag with Magnum condom, a trimming kit, and mouth wash. At the time I didn't pay much attention to that cause I had just thrown up. We are in the room and we are rocking out and then a some point he leaves the room and comes back with the pack of condoms and he gives me some for no reason. Then he starts talking about the trimming kit that he had just trimmed his junk. Again I did not pay much attention to that either. We turn the music off and we put a movie on. We watched 'Elf' and as were on the floor next to the bed watching the movie, his puppy jumps on the bed and I start petting it. As I pet it, he starts petting the puppy with me and he keeps looking at me when we are petting the puppy when there's a movie playing. At that moment I feel like we are in a relationship, cause I used to do this with past GFs. The movie ends and we go to sleep.

In the morning while I was getting ready for work; it dawned on me that, he was trying to do something with me that night.. trimming of the junk, the puppy thing; the condoms, and giving me the condoms for no reason. He isn't talking to any girls so why would he buy a pack of condoms out of nowhere. So that night I go to his house with a bottle of '99 bananas' and he is already drunk when I got there but that's not really a problem cause he is a good drunk, he acts normal when he is drunk but just a little bit hyper. We start taking shots and we got fuuccckkkkeedd up. We are in his room when he asked me to give him a back rub, and I'm like "SURE!" I start rubbing him down, all of his back, lower back and his neck. Like he was on the floor and I was on his bed, he was in between my legs and I started rubbing his neck I get a boner. So I had to pull back a lil so my dick wouldn't touch the back of his neck lolol. After that we were talking about life or w.e and he spills a lil bit a beer on his abs and I rub the beer off. He looks at me and says "you can keep on touching them" and I touch them again lol. I felt like pulling his pants down and start rubbing his dick to see what would happen but I didn't. We start talking about books and what book we read and shit. He pulls out a small book and he says its a favorite book. The book was, Romeo & Juliet.. and he starts reading to me. At that moment I felt turned off, because he was acting very femmy when he was reading it. After that I get a phone call from my best friend, asking me what am I doing and what was I going to do the rest of the night. I told him I would probably call my ex, to see if we could fuck that night. I see that "the trainer" gets mad and leaves the room. I hang up the phone and I try to see whats was going on with him but he didn't want to tell me. My guess is that he got jealous when I said that. He took more shots from the '99 bananas' and pasted out on the floor. I put him up on his bed and I layed next to him.

My reason for not going thru with doing anything with him is because I don't want to be used as a sex tool. My friendship with him is first, I don't want to lose him over busting a nut. I truly love him as a person and I'm afraid of losing him. If the situation was different; if he was sober and he wanted to do something then I would let it happen with the conditions that we stay friends or something more than that.

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

oh dear

[BRP]

World peace is within our grasps. By mining the moon for resources and nanomachines we can install all you-can-eat buffets all around the world. This will rid our stupid species of desires for such childish ideas like religion, war, and the will to power.

I thought of this revolutionary idea all by myself when I was 7 years as I watched my father bludgeon my mother with a budweiser. It was a cold autumn night. 2 degrees, celsius.

[Kyo]

wut the fuck is this i dont even

[Shiroikage]

World peace is within our grasps. By mining the moon for resources and nanomachines we can install all you-can-eat buffets all around the world. This will rid our stupid species of desires for such childish ideas like religion, war, and the will to power.

I thought of this revolutionary idea all by myself when I was 7 years as I watched my father bludgeon my mother with a budweiser. It was a cold autumn night. 2 degrees, celsius.

brp, you're getting me hard

[Akanei]

This is why gays should not be allowed to use the internet.

Except Atreides.

[Sera]

i don't know why you're still here, i already gave you the final solution

[Akanei]

wat

[Zanz L. Barre The 3rd]

World peace is within our grasps. By mining the moon for resources and nanomachines we can install all you-can-eat buffets all around the world. This will rid our stupid species of desires for such childish ideas like religion, war, and the will to power.

I thought of this revolutionary idea all by myself when I was 7 years as I watched my father bludgeon my mother with a budweiser. It was a cold autumn night. 2 degrees, celsius.

Chicken Soup for the Gamer's Soul of course

[Charismatic]

shut up ansem

[Kuya]

World peace is within our grasps. By mining the moon for resources and nanomachines we can install all you-can-eat buffets all around the world. This will rid our stupid species of desires for such childish ideas like religion, war, and the will to power.

I thought of this revolutionary idea all by myself when I was 7 years as I watched my father bludgeon my mother with a budweiser. It was a cold autumn night. 2 degrees, celsius.

lol

[ilcw]

i don't know why you're still here, i already gave you the final solution

I love my life.