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  1. #81
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    I worked as a Verizon rep in tech support for like 2 weeks (shit, shit job)
    I had a guy call saying his power button wouldn't work. He told me it had sand in it. I said that would be the problem, and he would have to open the phone to clean it or get a replacement. He told me it was a replacement and when we sent it to him it had sand in it. On his account it said he had the phone for 8 months.
    He honestly tried to convince me we sent him a phone with sand in it and it just took him 8 months to say anything. I told him hes screwed, he asked for a supervisor.
    Fucking really man?

    Also, wasn't this thread already made?
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  2. #82
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    I work cable support. I could post here hourly, probably less once I remind myself that sometimes old people need help with simple things like turning on the power or pressing the volume up button because their TV doesn't have sound. Actually I lie. Old people don't bother me because they're old. They bother me if they're screaming that I better get the magic entertainment box fixed or else they're going to satellite. Yeah, have fun with THAT when it breaks Cleatus.

    What? Oh yeah, stupid people. Starting I guess about 2004, I noticed a slow but steady decline in manners. You used to get maybe 1, 2 cuntasourus rex on the phone a month. Now it's twice a day at the minimum. If I had to guess the internet desensitized people to treating an anonymous person like their own person whipping boy. That or the economy just turned everyone who was almost a miserable fuck into a totally fucking miserable fuck. Working phone support, you learn to hate individual area's of the country for different reasons.

    Rural Arizona people are screaming harpy's, hellbent on inflicting their anger on whatever has made them now acutely aware that they live in the middle of Satan's asshole for example.

    Anyway, #first world problem. People cannot seem to tell you the following when directly askedWith thoughts, as I have had them relative to conversations with customers)

    Their phone number (How often does it change you stupid whore?)
    Their basic problem (Great, so half your family is dead. Why are you calling technical support?)
    Where the problem is (You drove halfway across Fargo in Winter, to probably the only payphone left in the county, and now you don't remember where you came from?)
    Where they are (......and you don't know where the payphone is you just saw it while driving)
    The last 4 of their social (sounds kinda deep for a 'Nicole' who wants to order a titty movie)
    list goes on.

    Nothing will top the midget sex lady or the guy in West Virginia who thought I was a phone sex line and started going into detail and then that my trying to get back on track (because we'd been talking about his cable bill for 10 minutes) was part of my bit and worked that into his dirty talk.

    The worst response to a question though, and the one that pisses me off to no end is

    "What is your phone #?"
    "I don't have phone service with you".

    Well fine and fucking dandy, what is A telephone number then. This wouldn't upset me so much if I then didn't have to drop into the lower double digits of my IQ to explain that "YOU GIVE PHONE NUMBER, ME FIND ACCOUNT".
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  3. #83
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    That thread was about bitching about going to/working at fast food services/retail stores. This thread is about nearly the same thing, but with more people getting hurt/humiliated. My random fail for the day is a long one.

    My sister who is 19 years old, has been lying/stealing/being a C word for the past 7 years. The same story gets repeated about every 1-2 months. Mom starts trusting her and eventually doesn't keep a close enough eye on her, so my sister takes advantage of my mother, usually taking hundreds of dollars or her prescription pills. Last night, around 10PM get a knock on my door from my mom telling me that her purse was taken, my sister gone, and was checking to see if I've heard from her. I tell her no and tries to get me to "hack" her PlentyofFish account to see if I can find out where she was. I do the best I can with what information I have. Nearly got inside of her email but I didn't know her alternate email address. Anyhow, she tells me to search for a guy my sister was talking about and I manage to find him. I check out whatever pictures I can manage to get from his account. Got his last name from a tatoo he was showing off, a zip code from the city he posted he was in, but my 411.com search pulled up no names of him; so I took my search to google maps.

    I found a picture of him standing in his driveway, with an electric pole behind him. So I looked up and down on streetview to find power poles with similar features and found a street that had the same kind. My mother went out to the street and looked at every house trying to find a color match. We found where he lived, so we call it a night with the knowledge of where she was staying. So today, she text one of her friends, who we have told to call us in case she tried to contact her, and ask if she wanted to go see a movie. I wasn't there, but from what I heard that my family ambushed her inside a Marshall's that was next to the theater. She panicked and tried to make a get away by throwing the racks of clothes down. She ran outside and went to a El Pollo Loco bathroom and locked herself inside. Manager called the cops, and by the time they were there she overdosed on prescription pills and died. That part was a lie.

    But anyways, she couldn't get arrested since the cops called were from a different district or something and the warrant out for her arrest magically vanished. So the random fail is my mom; who after having thousands of dollars stolen from her, has gone through many hours of physical pain because her daughter stole her pain pills to get high, and has totaled two cars in her driveway because of my sister; still trust her to let all this happen about every 2 months.

    My family sucks.
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  4. #84
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    Must suck living in a world where you can't say/type the word cunt.

    No but seriously that sucks man, I have friends that are in essentially the same situation. Some parents are completely blinded by love.
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  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tajin View Post
    @ The KFC, I was not aware there were KFCs where they sold chicken feet.
    There isn't ^^; (as far as I'm aware)

    The joke is the chinese tourist guy probably never had ordered KFC before, and while being told the parts of the chicken his meal comes with, he declares he doesn't want the feet, because there is a lack of meat on there which would make his meal insignificant. However, he assumed that because it's "KFC", all parts of the chicken are included, and the feet is a common dish in China.
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  6. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ziero View Post
    I remember going to see Ninja Assassin in theaters with some friends and while walking through the parking lot we were joking about how the movie would be awesome because title of the movie told us exactly what to expect and there'd be no way anyone could not know what this movie was about. We get inside to buy tickets and there was this group of teenage girls on line next to us and when we asked the teller for tickets the girls looked at us and asked us what the movie was about. Even the ticket guy had this "are you serious?" look on his face.

    The only response any of us could muster was my friend going "It's about ninja assassins."
    Years ago, had a mother come out of theatre bitching and screaming about how this movie was inappropriate for child and how dare somebody sold them tickets. Guess "House of 1000 Corpses" was a little ambiguous about whether it was a family film or not.
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  7. #87
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    I was a manager at CompUSA back in 98-'01. I got a million stories, but one stands out.

    One really bitchy lady was complaining about her printer, she didn't like it, she had had it for like three years, wanted a brand new one, etc etc, she finally (after screaming and making a real ass out of herself) said "I'm sick of this, I'm going to Best Buy", and my manager didn't miss a beat, just said "We'll call them and warn them" as he opened the door for her.

    Another good one, I worked at an independent auto parts store for 10 years. The owner worked the counter, and some guy came in asking for a specific NGK spark plug for his bike. We have to buy them in boxes of 10, and we would never sell them piece meal, so my boss said he could order a box and sell the guy the whole box for a deal. (About $18, very fair price). The guy argued a little but agreed. A few days later he came back to pick up the spark plugs, and the conversation between him and the owner went like this:

    Customer: I was thinking about it, and I'm only going to buy 2 plugs, I don't need 10.
    Owner: Well like I told you, we only sell them by the box.
    Customer: Well I'm the customer and you're going to do what I want you to.

    The owner calmly walks over to the register, pulls a 20 out of his wallet, puts it in the register. He then says "Now they're my plugs", throws the entire box in the trash, and goes back to what he was doing on his computer, completely ignoring the customer. The customer stands there, baffled, for a moment, then makes the smart decision and walks out.
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  8. #88
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    @sparkplugs... thats awesome
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  9. #89
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    I used to work for AAA as a light duty driver. I did stuff like jump starts, tire changes, fuel, lock-outs etc.

    I have many many stories about people utterly failing at cars. Old ladies in affluent areas are really good at A; not putting their car in park, B; locking their keys in the car with it running, C; driving over curbs and popping their tires.

    We had a lady that called us almost every week to come jump start her car because, in her words, "The car just doesn't turn all the way off and the radio runs the battery dead." What was really happening is she had no clue that you had to put the car in park to turn the ignition all the way off. So for the 3 years I worked for AAA, she never turned the car completely off or took the keys out of the ignition and just let it roll into the back wall of her garage to park it...

    I also had a lady get completely belligerent with me because she just KNEW that she had purchased her battery from AAA (We offered batteries with on-site installs) and I was going to replace the battery under warranty because it was dead. She had given me the paperwork on her battery right when I got there. When I calmly showed her that the battery didn't say AAA and in fact said Columbia, she told me I was dead wrong. I then showed her the invoice that she had handed me. It showed a local mechanic's shop had installed the battery...not AAA. She didn't care and called the AAA dispatch supervisor to tell them I was refusing her service and being an asshole. She demanded that I remove the battery and install a new one. Dispatch put her on hold and called me while I was waiting in my truck. I explained the situation and told them I was in fact refusing service and recommending they cancel her membership. They cancelled her service on the spot and then charged her non-member premium for my time on scene. It was sweet justice for me that moron crazy lady reaped the rewards of her behavior.
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  10. #90
    I am by far the worst poster in most threads, including Olroy and Mazmaz. I go from 0 to Mad in 0.6 seconds. Also, 8==============D
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brill Weave View Post
    Wtf is Neurosleep? Besides apparently a coma in a bottle.
    the way they market it is "the opposite of all those energy drinks"

    to me it's less powerful than taking a Benadryl/Sominex (Diphenhydramine) type pill the active ingredient in most PM meds


    NeuroSleep™ is a delicious drink formulated with ingredients to help promote restful sleep. Each ingredient contained in NeuroSleep plays a unique role in the sleep cycle. Melatonin, which is found naturally in tart cherries but also produced in the body, serves as the primary ingredient to promote restful sleep. Additionally, NeuroSleep™ provides 5-HTP, an ingredient structurally similar to the amino acid tryptophan, which provides structural support to neurotransmitters important for cognitive health. Magnesium is included at 300 mg per bottle (75% of the daily value), and serves as a key electrolyte that may help prevent cramping during rest. NeuroSleep™ is the optimal bedtime drink, providing quality rest which helps you function at your best.
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  11. #91
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    Tweek getting slowed and throwed!
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  12. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
    the way they market it is "the opposite of all those energy drinks"

    to me it's less powerful than taking a Benadryl/Sominex (Diphenhydramine) type pill the active ingredient in most PM meds
    It also tastes worse. Neuroanything is beyond awful
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  13. #93
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    Its like drank!

    http://www.itsdrank.com/home.html

    I work as a CS Rep for a domain company. I could post here everyday. I am sure I will think of a good one to post. I had one person on the phone call me lazy because I wanted to show him how to make changes in his account, and he wanted me to do everything for him. He also refused to verify his identity with me. I had another that after she found out I could see her password said that she now has to change it. Lady...I can see it after you change it. I don't care.
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  14. #94
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    I worked as a student manager at my undergrad's IT department for a few years. The "I.T. Help Desk" was the full name and how it appeared in campus directories, and one day I'm working and get a call from some chick. I pick up, I'm like, "I.T. Help Desk, this is Matt, how can I help you?" She sounds noticeably upset on the phone and she just goes, "I just really need to talk to someone..my roommate is being so horrible and I'm having the worst time here at school." She actually thought we were just a general "help desk." I transferred her over to the counseling center.

    We also used had a swipe system for printing -- students used their student IDs to swipe in to the lab printers and print from credits on their account, I'm sure a million schools do this. Anyway, this girl storms into the office, it's like 11:30 at night, we close in half an hour and she's screaming about a paper she has to print out for a class she has first thing in the morning, why dont any of our swipe machines work, we're so incompetent, she pays such and such amount of money to go to this school, blah fucking blah whatever the fuck.

    We ask her to show us the card she was using to swipe and she pulls out her out of state driver's license. Motherfucking face palm.
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  15. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Furionstormrage View Post
    Customer: Well I'm the customer and you're going to do what I want you to.
    I hate that "the customer is always right" bullshit line. Whoever came up with it must have been the biggest cocksucker in the history of histories.
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  16. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kuishen View Post
    Must suck living in a world where you can't say/type the word cunt.

    No but seriously that sucks man, I have friends that are in essentially the same situation. Some parents are completely blinded by love.
    I thought that word was banned on these forums and is viable to get you an infraction?
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  17. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aristio View Post
    I thought that word was banned on these forums and is viable to get you an infraction?
    So is backseat modding DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
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  18. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by NynJa View Post
    I hate that "the customer is always right" bullshit line. Whoever came up with it must have been the biggest cocksucker in the history of histories.
    QFT.

    Relevant: http://notalwaysright.com/
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  19. #99
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    That IT help desk thing is great. I think some of the best stories come out of IT departments.

    Another AAA story!
    The customer is usually right and we do what we can to accommodate them and fix their problem. However, there are times when doing what they want is not only /facepalm, but outright dangerous. There was a lady in a parking lot that had gotten locked out of her car by a bratty 3 year-old. It was about 12 minutes from the time she got locked out and the time I got there. The car was running and the A/C was on. So despite it being 90+ degrees outside, the children were safe inside the car. When I got there, the lady was in full panic mode and ran to my truck to demand that I get out the nearest/biggest heavy object and smash her window. I explained to her that that was a bad idea because flying glass hurts. I had her sit in my truck to calm down while I walked to the car. It took me all of 30 seconds to unlock the door and remove the keys from the ignition (to make sure the kid didn't lock me out again). At this point the lady comes running from my truck and grabs the baby. I tried to help by asking the 3 year-old to climb out and held his hand to help him down. She flipped out again and screamed at me not to touch her child...I had had enough of her panic freakout mode and told her if she didn't calm the fuck down I was going to call the cops and have her kids taken away. It worked mostly...except I had to fill out an incident report because of the whole ordeal.

    Side note: I know there is absolutely nothing the cops would have done. But it worked to diffuse the situation.
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  20. #100
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    As a fellow retail/Customer Service employee, i have numerous stores, a couple of the most recent ones;

    I am kindly walking back to my Butchers counter from my break, when a young man approaches me and kindly says (In a very thick Yorkshire accent, thats north England) "Nahhh then pal, d'ya sell Dovettes?" Me "Dovettes? Sorry, i can't say i'm familiar with those" Him (giggling slightly) "Tha noooos mate, Dovettes, what ya sleep under at neight" I stared at him blanky.. "You mean a Duvet?" He stopped for a few seconds, looked at me like i had just described to him, at length, Einsteins theory of relativity, said "Dunt matter pal, if ya gon be like that" and walked off. Fuck his life.

    This next one was just last week;

    Again i am walking back from my break (i am usually safe behind my counter, as i specialise in prime cuts of meat and rarely get retarded people approach me), So i am walking past the toiletries isle when this woman beckons me over.. "Excuse me, someone has taken my trolley.. i left it just here and turned round and it was gone" Me "Oh right, i'm sure it was some misunderstanding etc etc.. do you remember what items you had in the trolley so i can find it for you?" She replied "Yes, just some black trousers" So i am all like.. "Right then Ma'am I shall assist you in your time of need, please step aside!" Or something like that. I noticed as i walked further up the aisle an abandoned trolley with various produce/grocery items. I wandered round the store, and sure enough found a trolley (coincidentally, next to my meat counter) that also looked abandoned containing just black trousers. I quickly rushed it back to the lady. She said thanks, offered me a blow job, etc etc.. and i got back to work.

    Fast forward 15 minutes, and the customer service manager and this old grumpy looking woman are fast approaching my counter from the distance, the woman proceeds to point to where the trolley with the trousers had been left and yell "I'm telling you, i left it right there, it had sprouts in, and kit kats, and blah blah...." I step in.. "Errr, excuse me, if found a trolley here belonging to another lady who had said her trolley had being taken, so i think i may no where your trolley is" (still back with the toiletries) She just screams, "Bollocks, i know where i left my trolley, don't give me that bollocks, wankers ASDA (the company i work for) all wankers at ASDA". The customer service managed ushered her into his office, where her statement read, "The kid with the hairnet moved my trolley, like some fairytale trolley pincher, and moved it in the store to confuse me". Bitch got a gift certificate and 10% off her shopping that day...

    The main fail of course, is that i still work there...
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