2021 NFL Week 1: Sorry no predictions, actually I believe my predictions are a HIPPA violation

[Mertron]

GENTLEMEN.

BEHOLD!

I…HAVE CREATED A 17 GAME NFL SEASON!



w…wow. that’s a lot of games.



I KNOW! THINK OF THE MARKETING! THE RATINGS! THE MONEYYYY!



but uh, aren’t you at all concerned about player safety, especially this year while a pandemic continues to rage on?







FOOTBALL!

anyway, it’s time for football! week 1! predictions! on our last episode, some old man won again or something

I am not doing my division by division rundown, dill

AFC EAST: Bills (1 seed)
AFC NORTH: Browns
AFC SOUTH: Titans
AFC WEST: Chiefs
WILDCARDS: Ravens, Colts, Chargers

NFC EAST: Cowboys
NFC NORTH: Packers (1 seed)
NFC SOUTH: Bucs
NFC WEST: Rams
WILDCARDS: Vikings, Saints, 49ers

Superb Owl: Chiefs over Packers

Rookie of the Year: Trevor Lawrence
Offensive Rookie: Najee Harris (if not lawrence)
Defensive Rookie: Micah Parsons
DPOY: Aaron Donald…again
OPOY: Alvin Kamara
Comeback Player: Dak Prescott
Coach of the Year: Sean McDermott
MVP: Patrick Mahomes

First Coach Fired: Joe Judge
First Pick 2022: Texans (if they still have it i guess)

have at you

[Krandor]

You done some glorious work that OP there my friend

[Mertron]

fuck your tables btw

[Xno Kappa]

OP was glorious until he decided to make it personal…

[Mertron]

what do you mean, i mentioned cowboys winning things three whole times

[Krandor]

Most likely coach to be fired has to be Nagy

[Mertron]

all im saying is joe judge is like +4000 and the giants could easily start 0-6 if they can’t beat the falcons and their Oline is terrible against those defenses they play

nagy at least could have the old “rookie qb” excuse if he moves to fields quickly

[Xno Kappa]

Are we doing first coach fired or just the first coach to step down? Cuz I’ll throw some money Urban Meyer’s way being the first to step away due to “health” concerns.

[Xno Kappa]

If traditional fired then I vote Mike McCarthy.

[Mertron]

basically any nfc east coach could be fired. sirianni least likely since year one, but that return on a joe judge bet could be spicy!

[Krandor]

If traditional fired then I vote Mike McCarthy.

Doesn't Jerry still have that "won't fire a coach in the middle of a season" thing?

[Mertron]

also, speaking of week one, a funny chart i saw

https://twitter.com/arjunmenon100/st...498116614?s=21

Spoiler: show

WEEDENING

[Rhyis.]

what do you mean, i mentioned cowboys winning things three whole times

[Mertron]

cowboys fans are never out, it’s ITS OUR YEAR every year, until it isn’t

[Rhyis.]

Doesn't Jerry still have that "won't fire a coach in the middle of a season" thing?

only uncle wade got the boot in the middle of a season for jerrys red headed step child

[Rhyis.]

also, speaking of week one, a funny chart i saw

https://twitter.com/arjunmenon100/st...498116614?s=21

Spoiler: show

WEEDENING

i wont stand for this disrespect to the weedening

[Rhyis.]

cowboys fans are never out, it’s ITS OUR YEAR every year, until it isn’t

this will get stomped out quickly 'cause touchdown tom is gonna put a curb stomping on this defense. play all your bucs

[Lucavi]

also, speaking of week one, a funny chart i saw

https://twitter.com/arjunmenon100/st...498116614?s=21

Spoiler: show

WEEDENING

LOL Brandon Weeden. Jesus.

[Xno Kappa]

AFC EAST: Patriots. Josh Allen will come back down to earth and BB will remind everyone why he was so successful for 20+ years. And he’ll do it with a squad of Walmart employees!

AFC NORTH: Browns. Way too much talent on this roster.
AFC SOUTH: Titans by default.
AFC WEST: Chiefs via cheat code Patrick Mahomes.
WILDCARDS: Ravens, Colts, Chargers

NFC EAST: Big Blue Stand Up! All the pieces are in place. We’re about to witness Danny Dimes going Super Saiyan Blue.

NFC NORTH: Packers by default. Their biggest threat Kirk Coupons sucks in prime time - high profile games.
NFC SOUTH: Buccs via Brady still being in the god damn league.
NFC WEST: Rams but it won’t be easy. Probably the most competitive division in the entire league.
WILDCARDS: Vikings, Washington, 49ers

Superb Owl: Giants over Chiefs. SSJ Blue Danny Dimes unleashes his full potential and the Chiefs are clueless on how to contain him. Chiefs use their turf monster technique but SSJ Blue Danny Dimes has seen it before. Patrick Mahomes goes Golden Mahomes but is still no match for Big Blue Nation.



MVP: Probably Patrick Mahomes.

First Coach Fired: Traditionally fired, Mike McCarthy. Urban Meyer steps down Week 7 after going 0-6.
Head Coach of the Year:

[Xno Kappa]

Yes I do realize I’m making DBZ references using a Jojo meme. Get over it you weeb.