Dating questions (I can't believe I'm asking this...)

[Woozie]

Okay... I haven't really been on very many dates in my life (actually I've only been on one in my entire life). Every single relationship I've had in the past were with a woman who was a friend of mine for some time at first, so by the time things became romantic, we were already pass the dating stage (or should I say we completely skipped the dating stage). So it's not that I don't have experience with women, it's that I don't have experience with this particular situation.

I'm going to ask a girl out when I see her tomorrow (and I'm sure she's at least somewhat interested in me. Or at least I hope so) and was looking for any sort of general tips and advice. Also, I have a few questions:

Where should I go? I know the stereotypical first dates you seen on TV and such are usually to dinner at some restaurant. Is this What's normally expected? What kind of restaurant would I be expected to take her to? How much should I expect to spend.

Other than dinner, what other kinds of things are good for a first date?

How should I dress? I guess that depends on what we do, but I mean, how casual should it be? I'm guessing jeans are a no no?

Should a bring her a flower or something? Seems too cliche to me. And I'm also worried that it would make me look like some sort of a wuss. Also, I can't spell cliche, and everyone knows that you shouldn't do something that you can't even spell. That's why men don't menstarate!

Are there any signs or signals I should look for as indicators of her level of interest?

Any conversation tips? I'm usually good at making good conversation, but it wont be as easy if I'm nervous.

If the date goes well, and I want a second date, do I ask at the end of the date or do I wait a day or two and call her to ask her out again?

Any other tips or advice?

Also, if anyone who answers or posts happens to be a girl, please let me know, because I want to know which pieces of advice are coming from other females. It's always good to understand things from their viewpoint.

[0ni0n]

Dinner and drinks afterward are wonderful for the first couple dates. I will try to keep movie away until later because it takes up all the time you guys spend together. If you are afraid of running out of topics during the date, do a double-date with a good friend of yours. Double dates are fun given that you know your friend well and that he and his date are interesting. Keep it interesting and look her in the eyes when you talk to her, don't get too serious too soon. Introduce alcohol into the mix if you both drink, and everything should take care of itself.

[Sythe]

I think your taking this a little bit too seriously. Which isnt good because your just making yourself more nervous. That being said what kind of girl do you think she is? Meaning would she actually like a 4-5 star restaurant? Maybe a movie would be better with a lil something to eat afterward. fuck flowers, be yourself, dress like you care but not too much! lol and if she goes to the ladies room and doesn't come back it's not going well.

[Muzner]

How well do you know this girl?

Depending on that, you might be able to get her to go to a coffee shop or something along those lines to talk to see how you two do together. I've found that women I didn't really know and tried to go out to dinner with, it was awkward. Mostly because of a lack of familiarity, its hard to come up with a lot of conversation material.

If you go out to a coffee bar, then dress casual, jeans work. If you do wind up going out to dinner somewhere, it would really depend on the restaurant.

I wouldn't bring anything on a first date, just pay for everything. The only time you should allow her to pay for something is if she's one of those women that would prefer to split it.

To see if she's interested in you, watch for things like her making eye contact, leaning in towards you when you are speaking, nodding along with what you are saying, also any form of physical contact. If she's putting her hand on you or something along those lines, she's obviously more intimately interested in you.

Uh that's about all I can think of right now.

[Roranora]

t-shirt, jeans, moccasins.. average restaurant, no need to spend more than $60-ish total for meals and drinks.. I wouldn't go high-roller for such a seemingly casual first date. Also, go a little baked; it will help the conversation and even if the date sucks, the food will be delicious. After dinner, play co-op Castle Crashers together; offer to smoke her up too.

[Kirin]

Go find the ladder theory and intellectual whore forums online. Oodles of information for anyone really, solid and informed "player", the common person, or the high school kid who just wants to learn some stuff.

It's not something to take as doctrine or law, but the information those sites provide can be used in SO many other situations.

[Woozie]

I think your taking this a little bit too seriously. Which isnt good because your just making yourself more nervous. That being said what kind of girl do you think she is? Meaning would she actually like a 4-5 star restaurant? Maybe a movie would be better with a lil something to eat afterward. fuck flowers, be yourself, dress like you care but not too much! lol and if she goes to the ladies room and doesn't come back it's not going well.

I don't think she's a 4-5 star restaurant type, so should I just take her to some generic restaurant like Fridays or Olive Garden or something?

Also, neither of us drink alcohol, for those suggesting it.

[Muzner]

I would say go to Olive Garden, just because its quieter than say Fridays. You want to be able to actually speak with her.

[Roranora]

dank ass breadsticks.. yes

[0ni0n]

I don't think she's a 4-5 star restaurant type, so should I just take her to some generic restaurant like Fridays or Olive Garden or something?

Also, neither of us drink alcohol, for those suggesting it.

Ask her what her choice of cuisine is and what she does for fun.

[Woozie]

t-shirt, jeans, moccasins.. average restaurant, no need to spend more than $60-ish total for meals and drinks.. I wouldn't go high-roller for such a seemingly casual first date. Also, go a little baked; it will help the conversation and even if the date sucks, the food will be delicious. After dinner, play co-op Castle Crashers together; offer to smoke her up too.

Neither of us smoke either. For the record, I know this girl because we both go to the same church we're both involved in many of the church activities. And with her being in the ministry class, I'd be incredibly surprised if she smoked weed lol

[Roranora]

Yeah.. I wouldn't take advise from me anyway; I'm not exactly pulling mad wool.

[Mytiwar]

Comedy show is my advice

[Woozie]

Ask her what her choice of cuisine is and what she does for fun.

Good idea, thanks.

[Dohorehn]

Go Friday's. Olive Garden sucks (at least in my area.)

[0ni0n]

Comedy show is my advice

This.

also, you should watch movies at your or her place rather than going to the theater. Is she the abstinent type?

[kirkland]

Stay away from too much garlic and onions at Olive Garden.

[Woozie]

This.

also, you should watch movies at your or her place rather than going to the theater. Is she the abstinent type?

I don't know if she is, but I am. I haven't done it since July and I don't plan on doing it until marriage.

[Dimmauk]

Okay... I haven't really been on very many dates in my life (actually I've only been on one in my entire life). Every single relationship I've had in the past were with a woman who was a friend of mine for some time at first, so by the time things became romantic, we were already pass the dating stage (or should I say we completely skipped the dating stage). So it's not that I don't have experience with women, it's that I don't have experience with this particular situation.

I'm going to ask a girl out when I see her tomorrow (and I'm sure she's at least somewhat interested in me. Or at least I hope so) and was looking for any sort of general tips and advice. Also, I have a few questions:

Where should I go? I know the stereotypical first dates you seen on TV and such are usually to dinner at some restaurant. Is this What's normally expected? What kind of restaurant would I be expected to take her to? How much should I expect to spend.

Other than dinner, what other kinds of things are good for a first date?

How should I dress? I guess that depends on what we do, but I mean, how casual should it be? I'm guessing jeans are a no no?

Should a bring her a flower or something? Seems too cliche to me. And I'm also worried that it would make me look like some sort of a wuss. Also, I can't spell cliche, and everyone knows that you shouldn't do something that you can't even spell. That's why men don't menstarate!

Are there any signs or signals I should look for as indicators of her level of interest?

Any conversation tips? I'm usually good at making good conversation, but it wont be as easy if I'm nervous.

If the date goes well, and I want a second date, do I ask at the end of the date or do I wait a day or two and call her to ask her out again?

Any other tips or advice?

Also, if anyone who answers or posts happens to be a girl, please let me know, because I want to know which pieces of advice are coming from other females. It's always good to understand things from their viewpoint.

W.W.M.D?
http://www.ourchart.com/files/pickup.jpg

I would what ever is going to make you feel confident around her. A little nervousness is ok, it lets the girl know you are really interested in her. I'd go to dinner, and somewhere not in the dark. You want to be able to see each other. Comedy show is a good idea, if she laughs alot she will remember you had fun together.

[kuronosan]

Where should I go? I know the stereotypical first dates you seen on TV and such are usually to dinner at some restaurant.

If you've been friends with her some time, then you already should know what her likes and dislikes are. Don't put so much pressure or emphasis on the date. Just take her to a movie (if that's what she likes). No matter what, make sure you have everything taken care of so that you look like you are a responsible guy she can depend on to go further than just friendship.

Is this What's normally expected? What kind of restaurant would I be expected to take her to? How much should I expect to spend.

There are tons of different first dates you can do. It all depends on what she likes to do. If she likes paintball, for example, take her paintballing. Always expect to spend at least $50 on a real date, and always bring cash on you in case you need to tip or pay for extra.

Other than dinner, what other kinds of things are good for a first date?

Compliment her appearance, more specifically, the small things that she doesn't expect you to notice. Like new shoes. Or new clothes. Anything that lets her know you are noticing something different about her, and not in a friendly way.

How should I dress? I guess that depends on what we do, but I mean, how casual should it be? I'm guessing jeans are a no no?

Just look nice. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to look great. You're already friends with this girl. If you usually dress less than casual, tell her you wanna go out to dinner and then tell her to dress really nice... then dress really nice yourself. It's fun to do something out of the norm. Generally if you're going out somewhere nice like dinner then you want to look nice.

Should a bring her a flower or something? Seems too cliche to me. And I'm also worried that it would make me look like some sort of a wuss. Also, I can't spell cliche, and everyone knows that you shouldn't do something that you can't even spell. That's why men don't menstarate!

It's menstruate. Don't worry so much about whether you look like a wuss or anything. Be sweet. Find a flower store locally, buy a nice flower or two, then go home and research some story about it. Then tell her your version of that story (like "Did you know roses were used to shower babies in China?") then make lighthearted conversation about it.

Are there any signs or signals I should look for as indicators of her level of interest?

Lots of physical contact is a real good sign. If she makes eye contact with you and her eyes dilate, she's interested in what you have to say. Play off of those signals and let the rest happen on its own. Also, women that fidget around and try to stall when you take them home usually want you to take the initiative and kiss them or do something romantic. If you see her putting her hand on her chin and struggling to pay attention, you probably haven't captivated her heart. Just be yourself. She'll let you know if she's into you.

Any conversation tips? I'm usually good at making good conversation, but it wont be as easy if I'm nervous.

Talk about what you normally talk about. Some good topics are music, the future, family, life, work, school, and dreams. Some bad first topics are politics, issues at work, and anything that seems negative or drawn out. Also, a good way to converse is to not talk for too long. Some people get so drawn into a topic that they don't know when to let someone else offer an opinion. Conversations on a date are like a tennis match - let it go back and forth, and keep her interactive. Ask for her opinion when possible, but don't pressure yourself to say the right things. Be yourself. That's where you're most comfortable.

If the date goes well, and I want a second date, do I ask at the end of the date or do I wait a day or two and call her to ask her out again?

Never ask at the end - but plant the seeds. Say something subtle, like, "I'd love to do this again sometime. I really enjoyed tonight."

Obviously if she kisses you or it leads to something else, you don't need to worry about there not being a second date... just wait a few days before you make plans - be sensitive to her schedule.

Any other tips or advice?

Be yourself. Show active interest in her so that she feels like you are paying attention - and most importantly, keep eye contact whenever you are talking directly to her and looking in her direction. Girls don't like wandering eyes, they like to be able to see who they're talking to... and facing away from somebody can make them feel like you're being dishonest or non-genuine.