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Thread: Man claims to be Jesus     submit to reddit submit to twitter

  1. 2006-09-25 22:03 #1
    Unklemonkey
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    Man claims to be Jesus

    http://cbs4.com/topstories/local_story_254163721.html

    Some highlights:
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesus thing
    A follower of his believes “he is God, he is God.” She also lavishes him with money and gifts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesus thing
    "I don’t have one Rolex,” de Jesus Miranda said, “I have 3 because they want to give it to me. It's like that woman that came to Jesus with the expensive perfume and put it on his feet. He didn’t reject it, so when someone gives me a watch or a gift, I receive it. I like them too, they're nice."
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesus thing
    This self-proclaimed Son of God is a 60 year old former heroin addict and convict. The divorced father of 4 was born in Puerto Rico and now lives in South Florida with his second wife.

    Wow, lol. Sounds almost like Scientology with the whole donations thing. But look on the bright side, Jesus promotes heroin and crime now!
  2. 2006-09-25 22:05 #2
    BRP
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    It is music to the ears of his followers, mostly Hispanic men and women who believe they are God's chosen people, predestined for salvation no matter what they do on earth. They also believe all other faiths are false and must be destroyed, from Catholics to Baptists and Jehovah’s witnesses.
  3. 2006-09-25 23:31 #3
    XxSlusherxx
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    Hilarious but nothing like Scientology. I went to a scientology church to be "recruited" once as a joke. Those mofos are into hypnosis and shit.
  4. 2006-09-25 23:40 #4
    Kross
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    Jesus is mexican?

    nah must be the devil
  5. 2006-09-26 00:27 #5
    Merryck
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kross
    Jesus is mexican?

    nah must be the devil
    There's a likely probability. Satan is controlling the mexicans with his evil Jesus charade!
  6. 2006-09-26 00:35 #6
    Kiro
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    Jesus was black. WE ALL KNOW WHITE FOLK FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE PRAISING A PERSON OF THE SAME COLOR AMIRITE? Everybody is thinkin' it, I'm just sayin' it.
  7. 2006-09-26 00:51 #7
    Zigma
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    Ha
  8. 2006-09-26 08:00 #8
    Foustian
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    Anyone else notice "CRIST" on the banner in the bottom picture? The banner's in English, and even in Spanish its Cristo, not Crist.
  9. 2006-09-26 10:08 #9
    Septimus
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    Reach out and touch me!

    Damn whippersnappers probably won't get it...
  10. 2006-09-26 11:51 #10
    Daahan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Septimus
    Reach out and touch me!

    Damn whippersnappers probably won't get it...
    Will you be my own, personal Jesus Sept?

    guess i'm not a whippersnapper, eh?
  11. 2006-09-26 12:28 #11
    Unklemonkey
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foustian
    Anyone else notice "CRIST" on the banner in the bottom picture? The banner's in English, and even in Spanish its Cristo, not Crist.
    Yea I noticed, lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by XxSlusherxx
    Hilarious but nothing like Scientology. I went to a scientology church to be "recruited" once as a joke. Those mofos are into hypnosis and shit.
    Was mainly just the "donations" thing that reminded me of Scientology. That one smuck has given over a million.
  12. 2006-09-26 12:55 #12
    Masterofshade
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    Quote Originally Posted by BRP
    It is music to the ears of his followers, mostly Hispanic men and women who believe they are God's chosen people, predestined for salvation no matter what they do on earth. They also believe all other faiths are false and must be destroyed, from Catholics to Baptists and Jehovah’s witnesses.
    cant be all bad?
  13. 2006-09-26 13:32 #13
    Hyjynx
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    Quote Originally Posted by Septimus
    Reach out and touch me!

    Damn whippersnappers probably won't get it...
    Was reach out and touch faith anyway

    Quote Originally Posted by Koss
    Jesus is mexican?

    nah must be the dev
    No, he's Puerto Rican, who would have thought lol.
  14. 2006-09-26 14:06 #14
    Septimus
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyjynx
    Quote Originally Posted by Septimus
    Reach out and touch me!

    Damn whippersnappers probably won't get it...
    Was reach out and touch faith anyway
    Really? It's always sounded like "me" to my ears.

    But I would reach out and touch Daahan any day of the week.
  15. 2006-09-26 15:02 #15
    Daahan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Septimus
    Quote Originally Posted by Hyjynx
    Quote Originally Posted by Septimus
    Reach out and touch me!

    Damn whippersnappers probably won't get it...
    Was reach out and touch faith anyway
    Really? It's always sounded like "me" to my ears.

    But I would reach out and touch Daahan any day of the week.
    lmfao, yes sept, i know you would.
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